


Stars in Your Eyes || Harry Styles AU

by lisavslisa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, First Time, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Heartbreak, High School, Lost Love, harry styles & original male character are siblings, louis tomlinson & original female character are siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-02-07 19:52:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12848349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lisavslisa/pseuds/lisavslisa
Summary: The stars in your eyes are burning you alive.Shay is the younger sister of Louis Tomlinson, and Harry Styles is Louis' best friend.She's known him since they were kids, but as she grows up her feelings begin to change.Harry no longer annoys her, he intrigues her, and she likes kissing him more than anything.A story about a girl who falls in love with a boy and vice versa.American High School AU





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

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>    
> 

Shay threw open her bedroom door feeling nothing but annoyance toward her brother who had his music so loud she could barely think, let alone study for the test she needed to take tomorrow in bio.

“Louis! Turn it down!” Shay grumbled from her doorway.

She waited a moment before she stalked down the hallway toward the stairway where she knew she’d find her mother, Johannah. She knew it would be futile to go straight to Louis and tell him to turn it down without having her mother backing her up.

“Mom! Can you tell Louis to turn down his music?” Shat whined from the top of the stairs.

“Have you asked him to turn it down?” She called up to her from the kitchen.

“I tried, but his music is so loud he didn’t hear me,” Shay told her.

“Well, then knock on his door and ask him to turn it down,” she said, sending Shay an exasperated look before she made a shooing gesture with her hands.

“What if he won’t listen to me? I have a test—” Shay said with a huff.

“Shaylynn, if you can’t do this one simple thing without whining…” her mother grumbled and Shay knew she was getting on her nerves.

“Fine!” Shay snapped, turning down the hallway to go knock on her brother’s door.

Shay knocked as loudly as she could, hurting her knuckles in the process.

“Stupid jerk,” she grumbled under her breath, rubbing at her sore fingers.

“WHAT!?” She heard Louis yell through the closed door, the music turning down momentarily. Shay rolled her eyes as she turned the knob to open the door.

“Mom says—” she started to say until her words dried up when she saw the boy sitting on the floor, leaning against Louis’ bed.

_Harry Styles._

He was a senior, like her brother. He had also been Louis’ best friend since they were little kids. They all grew up together, including Harry’s older sister Gemma and his younger siblings Damien and Jaqueline. But lately… Shay couldn’t really put her finger on it. Harry just… he wasn’t as annoying as he used to be and well, he got super hot.

“What, Shay?” Louis snapped impatiently. Shay looked up at her brother as her face heated up.

“Uh, turn it down. I have to study,” she stammered, trying not to sound like a bitch in front of Harry.

“Fine,” Louis grumbled, turning back toward his computer. Shay was mildly surprised that her request didn’t turn into an argument.

“Thanks,” Shay said taking a step back.

“Hi, Shay,” Harry said, smiling at her.

“Uh, hi,” she said awkwardly, turning her attention back to the curly-haired boy as she grabbed onto the door handle to close it.

“Bye, Shay,” he said, smirking wildly at her.

“Bye, Harry,” she said, closing the door.

As she walked back to her room, her heart beat hard in her chest as her face burned with blush. She bit her lip as a smile turned up her mouth. Yeah, Harry Styles was a babe.

“How hard was that?” Shay heard her mom’s voice, which startled the visions of Harry’s smile out of her brain.

“Huh, what?” Shay asked, looking up to see her mom walking down the hallway toward her.

“Jeez, Shay. Where’s your head?” She laughed, shaking her head at her.

“Uh, I’ve gotta go study,” Shay stammered as she moved through the doorway into her bedroom.

“Yeah. Go,” she said, chuckling and shaking her head.

Shay closed her door behind her, trying to shake the awkward feeling out of her system. Harry was just a boy. A boy she used to think was annoying. Why should she feel any differently about him?

 

As Shay walked home from school the next day, she couldn’t help but think about how horribly she must have done on her bio test. She didn’t get a whole lot of studying done the night before and she hated herself for it. She hated doing poorly in school. She could only hope that what she did study stuck with her long enough to help her skate by with a passing grade.

“SHAY!” She heard someone yell as a car approached from behind her.

She turned to see her brother’s _Honda Civic_ drive up next to her with Harry Styles hanging out the window calling her name.

“What?” She said awkwardly, looking at the curly-haired boy with the green eyes and silly smirk.

“Get in!” Harry told her as Louis pulled the car up next to her.

“I’m almost home,” she said, pointing ahead. The house was just at the end of the road about five houses down.

“Shay, _get in_ ,” Harry said more sternly, giving her a look to match.

Shay furrowed her eyebrows at him, wondering what they were up to and whether or not she could trust them. If Louis was behind whatever they were doing, she was quite skeptical. Harry laughed out loud, watching Shay debate with herself in her head.

“She’s more stubborn than you, man,” Harry said, looking back at Louis.

“Shay, just get in the fucking car,” Louis snapped, leaning over Harry to yell at her through the window.

“What are you guys up to?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at them.

“Get in the fucking car,” Louis yelled and she scoffed.

“Fine,” Shay snapped, moving toward the passenger door.

“Ha,” Harry said, smirking as he got out of the car to let her into the backseat.

Shay looked up at him as she got closer to the car. He stood about a foot taller than her, so she had to tilt her head a little to look into his eyes. He was standing right in her way. How was she supposed to get in the car if he didn’t move?

“Hi, Shay,” Harry said, smiling down at her.

“Hi, Harry,” she said, feeling exceptionally awkward.

He kept smiling at her, slightly cocking his eyebrow. And she wondered what exactly was going on. She felt a wave of uncertainty about what she was getting into if she were to get in the car with them. But Harry’s presence was so inviting. She knew she was on board the moment he told her to get in the car the first time.

“Do you want me to get in, or…?”  She said awkwardly, looking up at him.

“By all means…” He said, finally stepping out of the way to let her in.

Shay crawled into the backseat and watched as Harry piled back in the passenger seat.

“I seriously could have walked. I’d probably be home by now,” she told the two of them.

“We’re not going home, Shay,” Harry said, turning in the front seat to look back at her. A feeling of uncertainty shot through her.

“Where are we going?” She asked, looking at Louis through the rear-view mirror.

“Put your seatbelt on, Shay!” Louis said, gunning the engine so the car rocketed down the road.

“Oh my god. _Slow down_ , you ass!” Shay yelped, buckling her seatbelt quickly.

Louis stepped on the brakes quickly at the stop sign by their house and she nearly hit her head on the seat in front of her. Harry just let out a laugh and held onto the handle above the door as Louis took off down the next street.

“I didn’t plan on dying today!” Shay snapped, smacking Louis’ arm, causing him to laugh menacingly.

“Are you hungry, Shay?” Harry asked as he looked back at her.

“I don’t know. I guess,” she said with a shrug, keeping her eye on the road Louis was speeding down.

Louis blew right through a crosswalk where there were some kids getting ready to cross. Shay’s heart sank and then sped up again as a screech nearly left her mouth.

“Louis! You’re going to kill someone. Seriously, slow down. I just…” Shay whined from the back seat.

“God, shut up! You sound like mom,” Louis laughed as he slowed down significantly in the school zone by the elementary school.

“Do you know the death toll of teen drivers? Seriously, it’s ridiculous,” Shay asked, trying to talk some sense into her brother. Louis and Harry both just laughed out loud.

“You think I’m joking,” she growled at them.

“Are you even a teenager or are you an old lady trapped in a teenager’s body?” Louis laughed.

“I am a teenager that wants to live to be an old lady,” she quipped, sending him a glare through the rear-view mirror.

“She’s got a point,” Harry laughed.

Moments later, Louis took a sharp turn into the McDonald’s parking lot. Shay let out a huff.

“Seriously? McDonald’s? I risked my life for McDonald’s?” She asked as Louis parked the car.

“Shut up and appreciate the McGoodness,” Louis laughed as he got out of the car.

Harry got out of the car and pulled the seat up for Shay to get out. When she started to crawl out of the back seat, he held his hand out to help her out. She looked up at him before hesitantly placing her hand in his. He was looking at her with a cute little smirk that nearly killed her. Why was she suddenly feeling weird around him? He was being _charming_ and it was weird.

“Come on. I’ll buy you a cheeseburger,” he told her as she stood on her feet in front of him. She smirked at him and nodded her head. When they got into the restaurant, Louis was already ordering his food, not bothering to wait for them.

As they waited for their food to be prepared, Louis was just getting his. Shay laughed as the McDonald’s employee stacked five cheeseburgers and a water cup on Louis’ tray.

“What the hell?” Shay laughed, looking at her brother oddly.

“I’ve gotta bulk up for football,” Louis smirked at her.

“I’m not sure if that’s the correct way to do it,” Harry laughed as Louis shrugged and moved over to the soda machine.

As they sat and ate, Shay looked up at Louis who was almost inhaling the pile of cheeseburgers in front of him. She literally wanted to barf watching him, instantly losing her appetite for the one cheeseburger she had – that Harry got for her.

“Can you even taste them or is this a contest to see how many you can eat in thirty seconds?” Shay quipped, looking at him with a disgusted face.

“Shut up,” he said with a mouthful of chewed up burger.

“Attractive. It’s a wonder that you get girlfriends,” she said, setting her burger down on the wrapper. Harry chuckled through his more modest mouthful.

“Girls love me,” Louis said after he swallowed.

“I don’t know why,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“I’m a babe-magnet,” he laughed.

“Gross,” she scoffed.

“So Shay, are we gonna have a sleepover tonight?” Harry asked, nudging her with his elbow.

“Huh, what?” She asked, looking at him wide-eyed, confusing spreading through her.

“I’m sleeping over. Are we gonna have a slumber party?” He asked, smirking wildly at her.

“Uh, probably not,” she said truthfully.

“ _Ugh_ , why not?” Harry whined playfully.

“We can all see who’s _not_ the babe-magnet here,” Louis laughed at Harry.

“You’re not going to strut around in cute little jammies and have a pillow fight with me?” Harry asked her with a smirk, cocking an eyebrow at her. Was he flirting?

“Harry! That’s my little sister!” Louis growled.

She bit her lip and held back a laugh as her brother yelled at his best friend. It was quite amusing.

“So what? I’ve known her practically all her life. She’s like a little sister to me too,” Harry countered, throwing his arm around Shay’s shoulder pulling her head tightly to his chest.

“Harry! Get off!” Shay grumbled, pushing his arm off of her. He just laughed as she straightened her hair out.

“Aw, you still look as beautiful as ever, Shay. I didn’t mess up your hair too bad,” Harry chuckled, swiping his fingers across the front of her hair.

“Stop!” Shay protested as she fixed her hair again.

“Come on. Let’s go,” Louis said as he stood up, grabbing his tray, heading for the garbage.

“Let’s go, Shay,” Harry said standing up, messing up her hair purposely with his hand.

“Harry! _Ugh_. Screw you!” Shay yelled as she flattened out her air once again.

“LET’S GO, SHAY!” Louis yelled as he exited the restaurant.

 _God._ She knew she needed to go because she wouldn’t put it passed Louis to leave her there. She stood up quickly, throwing her half eaten burger in the trash on her way out.

Louis and Harry were being as obnoxious as ever when it came to their music blaring throughout the house once they got home. Shay didn’t have any big tests to study for or even homework at all, so she decided to just leave it alone and watch some TV in the living room. She sat mindlessly flipping channels as Harry walked out and sat down next to her.

“What are you doing?” She asked, looking over at him skeptically.

“What?” He asked, looking at her oddly

“Why are you out here?” She questioned, feeling a bit uncomfortable in his presence.

“ _Jeeeeez_ ,” he laughed, feigning offense.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant… where’s Louis?” She corrected herself. She wasn’t trying to make him feel bad.

“Danielle called,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.

“Ah. What happened to ‘bros before hoes’?” Shay joked.

“I know, right?” Harry laughed, shaking his head.

“There’s nothing on,” Shay said, letting the channel stop on _Dr. Phil_.

“ _Dr. Phil_ , really?” He laughed.

“There’s nothing on!” She protested.

“ _Mm-hmm_ ,” he said, giving her a skeptical look.

“You find something, then,” Shay said, tossing the remote in his lap.

“No. _Dr. Phil’s_ fine,” he said, smirking at her as he set the remote down between them on the sofa.

“I swear, there’s nothing on,” Shay laughed trying to get him to believe her. _Dr. Phil_ wasn’t something she usually watched.

“Whatever, you nerd. Who comes home and actually watches _Dr. Phil?_ Oh that’s right, Shay Tomlinson does,” Harry laughed, poking fun at her

“Shut up, ass. There’s nothing on,” she said again, punching him in the arm. He just laughed and caught her wrist before she could punch him a second time.

“Let go,” she whined, trying to pull her arm back.

“Not when you’re hitting me,” he laughed, looking at her wide-eyed.

“I’ve got a whole other arm and two legs to do some damage with,” Shay laughed, playfully kicking at him.

Harry immediately threw his leg over hers, pinning it between his legs. He was on quick alert to grab any other flying appendages that came his way.

“ _Fucker_ ,” Shay grumbled.

“ _Potty mouth_. What now, Shay?” He laughed, holding her tightly.

“Let go! _Dr. Phil’s_ just getting good,” Shay joked, squirming in his arms.

“You can watch and listen without your arms and legs,” he laughed, not budging a bit.

“I’m going to hurt you in your sleep,” Shay threatened, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Is that a promise?” He asked with a huge smirk on his face.

“Yes! Let go!” She snapped, wiggled as hard as she could to get out of his grasp.

“ _Fuck_ , Shay!” Harry croaked, letting go of her completely.

 She didn’t realize what she did to him until he grabbed his junk in his hands, groaning to himself.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry!” Shay said, and couldn’t help but laugh at his misfortune – even though she felt really bad for kicking him in his man parts.

“ _Jesus_ ,” he grumbled, letting out a huge breath.

“Dude, I’m sorry. But you shouldn’t have held onto my leg like that,” she told him, trying to stifle a laugh.

“You’re vicious,” he said, looking up at her, his face entirely red.

“I didn’t mean to!” She laughed.

“You don’t seem too sorry about it,” he said, letting out a strained chuckled through his pain.

“You have no idea. Harry, I’m sorry. Really, I am,” she told him, biting her lip to stifle her giggles. Why was other people’s pain so funny? She couldn’t help it.

“What’s going on?” Louis asked as he walked into the living room to find them on the couch.

“Your sister just kicked me in the balls,” Harry groaned, still holding on to his crotch.

“Why was her foot anywhere near your balls?” Louis asked, sitting down in the recliner, looking over at the TV.

“Cause Harry was being an _ass_ ,” Shay said matter-of-factly.

“Was not. Your sister’s just a man-eater,” Harry said, letting out a laugh.

“Yeah right,” she said, smacking him again.

“See!” Harry laughed.

Louis looked over giving them a really odd look, before he looked back at the TV again, ignoring them completely.

“Why the fuck are we watching _Dr. Phil_?” Louis scoffed.

“Yeah, Shay. Why are we watching _Dr. Phil?”_ Harry asked with a little laugh.

“I hate you. Change the channel. I don’t care,” Shay scoffed, getting up from the couch, heading toward her bedroom.

“Oh, Shaylynn! I was joking!” Harry called after her.

 

After dinner, Shay stayed in her room ignoring everyone on purpose. She went to bed early, feeling tired from being up early for school that morning. At around two am, she woke up needing to use the toilet. Just as she was about to turn into the bathroom, the door opened and she ran smack dab into Harry.

“Holy shit!” She yelped, before covering her mouth with her hand.

“ _Jesus_ ,” Harry said as they peeled themselves away from each other.

That was when she noticed Harry wasn’t wearing a shirt and his pajama pants were hanging dangerously low on his hips. Her whole body heated up with awkwardness and embarrassment.

“ _Shaylynn_ , what are you doing awake?” He asked, positively purring her name as a smirk formed on his lips.

“What are _you_ doing awake?” She retorted quickly, not having a ready response prepared.

“Apparently doing the same thing you are,” he said, nudging his head toward the bathroom, his smirk ever-present on his face.

“I guess,” she said quietly, avoiding his glare. She didn’t want him to think of her using the bathroom.

“Where’s your pillow?” He asked vaguely, smirking wildly at her.

“What?” She asked as confusion spread through her. Where did he think her pillow was? In the bathroom?

“You’re wearing your cute little jammies. Where’s your pillow… for our pillow fight?” He clarified, bringing up their conversation from previously in the day.

“Shut up!” She laughed, shoving his chest with her hand.

He let out a laugh as he moved out of the way so she could go into the bathroom. His smirk as she was closing the door had her feeling weird. She couldn’t put her finger on why his eyes sparkled as he watched her, but it made her feel uncomfortable and elated at the same time.

Shay took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She didn’t really remember putting on the tank top and shorts she was wearing. Usually she wore a raggedy over-sized t-shirt.  Did her unconscious mind dress that way for him? She shook her head, expelling the thought. She didn’t even plan on coming out of her room all night, why would she dress for him?

She quickly did her business and made her way out of the bathroom. When she looked up, she was startled by Harry leaning against the wall in front of her, still smirking.

“Wh-what are you doing?” She asked, looking at him wide-eyed.

“Did I upset you earlier?” He asked, concern growing on his face.

“When?” She asked, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion, not sure what he was talking about.

“With the _Dr. Phil_ comment?” He asked.

“Uh… no,” she said, leaning her side against the wall, facing him.

“You just… I don’t know. You didn’t say anything at dinner and you’ve been in your room all night. I kind of missed seeing you around,” he said, smirking at her. Shay gave him an odd look. _He missed seeing her around?_

“What?” He laughed lightly.

“You missed seeing me?” She questioned, looking at him funny, not totally believing his words.

“What?” He laughed again.

“Nice line,” she scoffed, shoving him lightly in the shoulder.

“Not a line,” he chuckled, cocking an eyebrow at her.

“Oh, yeah. I bet you use it on all the girls,” she laughed quietly, rolling her eyes at him.

“Hmm,” he hummed, staring straight at her, making her feel even more uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her.

“Shay…” He said quietly.

“What?” She giggled out a scoff, trying to dispel the awkwardness she felt.

Seconds later he leaned in, connecting his lips to hers. She felt his hand gently grip onto the side of her face. _Holy shit_. Her heart sped up significantly as she realized anyone could walk out at any moment.

“ _Jesus_ , Harry,” Shay said, pushing him away with her hands in his bare chest. She cataloged how warm and soft his skin was.

“What?” He asked, furrowing his brow in question.

“Louis will kill you if he saw you kissing me,” she told him in a loud whisper.

“So what?” He shrugged, pulling a face.

“You’re willing to get killed by your best friend, just so you can kiss his little sister?” She asked, eyeing him skeptically.

“Maybe,” he said, shrugging his shoulders with a sideways smirk on his face.

Shay’s whole body tingled with his answer. She sucked in both of her lips, biting them in place as she looked at him.

“What?” He chuckled.

“I don’t know,” she whispered, shaking her head slightly.

“You didn’t like it?” He asked, quirking his head.

“I didn’t say that,” she said quietly.

His smile widened again seconds before he leaned in, kissing her again. _Well, alright then_.

As she finally kissed him back, his body pressed her against the wall, his hands cupping her face. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, so she just rested them against his chest. Shay couldn’t believe what was happening. She’d never been kissed like that before. She’d only ever have one serious boyfriend before and he was kind of a dipshit.

Suddenly the house made a noise like it was settling and it scared Shay, making her think that someone was coming out of their bedroom. She broke the kiss and pressed her hands firmly against his chest.

“It was just the house,” Harry whispered.

“We should stop though,” she told him, looking down the hallway to her parent’s room.

“How come?” He asked.

“Because my dad will kill you worse if he’s the one that catches us,” she told him.

“I’d almost believe you if Mark didn’t love me as much as he does,” Harry said with a smirk.

“Well, then he’ll kill me,” Shay countered, sending him a playful glare.

“Now that’s more likely,” Harry chuckled, gripping onto her hips, pulling her close again.

“Harry…” She breathed, pressing her hands against his chest again.

“One more kiss,” he whispered against her lips. Shay let out a sigh, but obliged.

When Harry pulled back from the kiss, he didn’t let her go and he didn’t move away. He just kept her pinned with his hands on her hips. Shay’s breathing was wavering as her heart beat out of control in her chest. She was so nervous to be sneaking around in the dead of night, kissing boys who she really had no business kissing. But for some reason she liked it. She liked it a lot. And she didn’t want to stop, but knew they should.

Harry leaned down leaving a few pecks against her lips before he finally pulled his body away from hers.

“We should get some sleep,” he told her, like it was his idea to stop all along.

“Uh-huh,” she nodded, pulling herself away from the wall.

“Goodnight, _Shaylynn_ ,” Harry breathed, his tone seductive and pleasing.

“Goodnight, Harry,” she whispered before she tip-toed back to her bedroom.

“Shay,” Harry said quickly, stopping her in her tracks.

“Hmm?” she replied, turning to face him again.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he told her.

Shay bit back a smile and her heart flip-flopped in her chest. _Oh, that boy._

“Goodnight, Harry,” she said again.

“Night,” he said, smiling back at her. She watched him open Louis’ bedroom door and slip inside.

There was literally nothing better than what just happened between the two of them, and Shay knew it.


	2. Chapter Two

Shay woke up with the thought of Harry floating through her mind. Did he really kiss her the night before? Was it a dream or was it real life? She laid there staring at her ceiling as the sunlight grew more vibrant inside the confines of her room. She was up entirely too early for her liking on a Saturday morning, but she couldn’t sleep when all she could think about was _him_.

When Shay heard voices in the hallways, she decided to roll out of bed, putting her robe on over her tank top and shorts before she walked out of her room. She felt anxiety and awkwardness bubble up in the pit of her stomach at the thought of seeing Harry. She was scared to get confirmation that the kiss actually happened. She didn’t know what she would say to him or how she would act around him. To be completely honest, she knew they shouldn’t have kissed and she knew she shouldn’t let it happen again. There were lines that shouldn’t be crossed – especially because he was Louis’ best friend and he was a year and a half older than her. But even though she knew that, she couldn’t escape the excitement that just the thought of Harry brought to her. She really, _really_ liked kissing him.

What was it he said to her? Something along the lines of _‘I’ve wanted to do that for a while’_. Just the thought of that was enough to completely rile her. He wanted to kiss her for a while? It didn’t make any sense to her. What was a while? She’d only started noticing how hot he was a few weeks before. Seriously, how long was a while in Harry Styles’ world?

Walking past the spot in the hallway where they kissed sent a shiver throughout her body. She smiled to herself as she slid her fingertips against the drywall. _Ugh._ She really needed to stop. She felt like a stupid little girl.

Shay quickly took the stairs down, heading into the kitchen expecting to see her mother’s face, but instead she was met with two very sleepy teenage boys shoving cereal into their faces. Shay froze immediately in the doorway of the kitchen, staring into Harry’s eyes. He stared back as he chomped on the mouthful of cereal he just shoveled in, before his lips turned up into a smile just for her. She was much too nervous to smile back, so she quickly turned to the refrigerator, opening it up. _Oh God_. His smile. Was that a confirmation that last night really happened? Shay pretended to dig around in the fridge as she heard someone approach from behind her. She tensed up immediately, thinking it was Harry. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Louis head to the sink with his cereal bowl. Relaxing at the sight of her brother, she closed the fridge just as he turned toward the kitchen door and headed out, leaving her all alone with Harry.

“Morning, Shay,” Harry said in his _too-deep-for-a-teenager_ voice as he smiled brightly at her.

“Hi,” she squeaked out.

He stood up quickly, pushing in the stool he was sitting on before walking to the sink himself. She caught the look he sent her as he checked her out and it sent a flush of excitement through her. When he turned toward the sink, she took the opportunity to tie up the front of her robe. If she was going to try to resist him, she would probably have to dress a little bit more modestly around him, because she didn’t think she could handle him looking at her like that again.

Seconds later, Harry turned toward her and leaned against the sink as his eyes watched her.

“You’re acting a bit odd,” he said matter-of-factly. Shay stared at him for a few moments like a deer in headlights.

“Am I?” She croaked out.

“You are,” he said with a nod.

“I… I don’t know,” she said, avoiding his eyes as she looked down at the floor.

“Is it because of last night?” He asked. Shay’s eyes quickly snapped up to meet his as a wave of anxiety flooded her.

Harry smiled immediately at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. There was her confirmation. It happened. It most definitely happened. Harry Styles kissed her last night.

“Good morning, you two,” Shay’s mother said as she strutted into the kitchen, breaking Shay and Harry out of their stare down.

“Morning, Jay,” Harry said, smiling warmly at her.

“Hello, sweetheart,” she said, smiling back at him as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Morning, Mom,” Shay said, feeling awkward that it was her mother who cut the sexual tension in the room.

“Hi, doll,” she replied back, sending Shay a smile before she looked at Harry and then at Shay again.

“Harry, come on!” They heard Louis shout.

“You’re being summoned,” Jay said to Harry, taking a sip of her hot coffee.

Harry let out a laugh as he moved away from the kitchen counter, giving Shay a quick smile before he headed out of the room.

“What was that about?” Jay asked as she gave her daughter a quirk of her eyebrow.

“What?” Shay choked out.

“You and Harry… _smiling_ at each other,” she pointed out.

“Uh, he was just telling me something that happened…” Shay said, her words trailing off, hoping her mom wouldn’t ask what it was.

“Hmm,” she hummed, narrowing her eyes at Shay.

“What?” Shay questioned through a scoff.

“Seems weird,” she commented, shaking her head slightly.

“ _He’s_ weird,” Shay scoffed, trying to play off the way she was feeling.

“You’re both weird,” Jay chuckled as she began to make some toast for herself.

“Can you make me some too?” Shay asked, smiling pleasantly at her. Jay gave her a playful eye before she nodded at her.

“Thanks, mommy,” Shay said, kissing her cheek.

“You’re welcome, daughter,” she said, smiling amusingly at her.

After her mother made her toast, she took it up to her room. Louis and Harry already left the house not long after, so she felt a little less awkward without Harry roaming around.

For the rest of the weekend it was pretty quiet at her house. There were no boys kissing her in the middle of the night. There were no green eyes staring her down, making her _feel_ things. By Monday, Shay pretty much pushed the _incident_ to the back of her mind. She decided if it were to happen again, she would just play it cool instead of being totally awkward around him. And then she remembered she wasn’t supposed to let it happen again. _Harry is Louis’ friend. Harry is Louis’ friend. Harry is Louis’ friend._ The words went ‘round and ‘round in her head until she was almost completely convinced that she’d most definitely push him away next time. _Almost._

The only time Shay saw Harry on Monday was when Louis came up to her at her locker asking to borrow money for a soda. Harry was flanking behind him with his green eyes perfectly trained on her. She tried to concentrate on what she was doing as she dug in her purse for her wallet, but it seemed like just being in Harry’s presence was jumbling up her brain.

“Shay, what are you doing? Your wallet is right there,” Louis said, reaching into her bag, pulling it out.

“Oh. Ha,” Shay said awkwardly as she watched Louis open it up.

“You pushed it around like eight times trying to find it,” Louis grumbled, taking the two dollars out that he requested.

“I didn’t see it,” Shay said, blushing as she looked up meeting Harry’s eyes.

He was smirking at her, which didn’t help her any. She shook her head, looking away from him, feeling absolutely embarrassed.

“Thanks,” Louis said, handing her back her wallet.

“Sure,” she said quietly, dropping it back into her bag.

“Bye, _Shaylynn_ ,” Harry said, smiling at her as he walked off with Louis. He really needed to stop saying her name like that. It was making her head spin.

 

On Tuesday, Shay stayed after school for a bit to talk to her biology teacher before she walked home. By the time she arrived, Louis was already home with a whole slew of friends, playing video games in the living room, being loud and obnoxious.

“No _Dr. Phil_ today,” Harry told her with a wide smile just for her.

“Ha. You’re funny,” she scoffed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I thought so,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.

“What is with you two and _Dr. Phil?”_ Louis asked, look over at them quickly before his eyes went back to the TV screen to watch the game he was playing with his friend Niall.

“Shay _loves_ watching _Dr. Phil_ ,” Harry joked, nudging his elbow into Shay’s arm.

“I hate you,” Shay said, glaring playfully at Harry.

“Oh, _Shay-Shay_. Don’t be like that,” Harry chuckled.

“Don’t call me Shay-Shay… ever again,” Shay said, feigning offense. Harry laughed out loud, which was literally music to Shay’s ears. She loved that she was able to make him laugh like that.

Shay scanned the room to see a bunch of familiar faces – all boys Louis had been friends with for years. She supposed there were some advantages to having a brother in the 12th grade. It meant she pretty much knew all the cute senior boys and they knew her. But getting to know them outside of school in a group setting just made her realize how stupid boys could actually be. It was one thing to hang out with Louis and Harry and enjoy herself, but when they got together with their _posse_ , it was just overbearing sometimes.

Deciding she had her fill of testosterone, Shay turned out of the room and headed up the stairs to deposit her backpack in her bedroom before she came back out to make herself a snack.

“So we meet again… in this hallway,” Shay heard Harry say and her vision snapped up to his, her eyes wide as her heart beat sped up.

“Did you follow me up here?” Shay asked quietly, staring at him.

“Bathroom,” he said, pointing his thumb at the door.

“There’s a bathroom down by the living room,” she pointed out. But she knew he knew that. He spent a lot of time in their house over the years.

“Liam just went in there,” he said with a shrug.

“Oh. Okay,” she said quietly, not really believing him since he made no move to actually go into the bathroom.

“You seem weird,” Harry said, eyeing her.

“What? That’s not a very nice thing to say,” Shay scoffed, sending him a sideways smirk.

“You know what I mean. You’re acting weird,” he told her. She sent him an odd, questioning look.

“You keep telling me that,” she pointed out.

“You’re not acting like the Shay I know,” he said, smirking sweetly at her.

“How should I be acting?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I don’t know…” He said quietly, shrugging his shoulder.

“Well, Harold. I believe we’re at a stand-still,” Shay joked, putting her hands on her hips.

“That’s more like it,” Harry said, smiling widely at her.

“What?” She asked, furrowing her brows.

“You’re joking around with me. You called me _Harold_. You’re not ignoring me,” he explained.

“I don’t ignore you,” she said, taking real offense to the fact that he thought she did.

“You ignore me a little,” he said, holding up his index finger and thumb a millimeter apart.

“I don’t mean to,” Shay said quietly, looking down at her feet, truly feeling bad that he thought she did.

“ _Shay_ …” Harry breathed. Shay looked up to meet his eyes again and found him stepping closer to her.

“Harry,” she squeaked out, ready to tell him they couldn’t get any closer.

“Does it bother you that I kissed you?” He asked lowly, making sure no wandering ears could hear.

“ _Uh_ …” She stammered, not sure of what to say.

It _was_ bothering her, but she could most certainly say it wasn’t bothering her in a bad way. It was only bothering her because as hard as she tried, she couldn’t get the kiss out of her mind. The thought of his lips on hers played over in her head on a constant loop, making it hard for her to concentrate on anything else.

“You can tell me the truth,” he said, leaning himself lazily against the wall.

“No. It doesn’t bother me,” she told him, looking down at her hand that she was nervously picking at.

“Good,” he breathed lowly. Shay’s eyes came up to meet his again as another wave of anxiety rushed through her.

“Why did you kiss me?” She asked boldly, feeling uncomfortable under his lustful stare.

“I already told you,” he said as the corner of his mouth curled up into a half smile. Shay stared at him, waiting for a memory refresher.

“Because I wanted to,” he said, giving her a full genuine smile.

“Oh,” she said as she smiled bashfully, looking down at her hands again.

Seconds later, they heard voices coming toward the stairway, near where they stood. That was when Harry took her hand and pulled her inside of the bathroom, closing the door behind them.

“Harry, what—” She protested, but got cut off as his lips crashed into hers.

_Oh my god_.

His hands gripped onto her face and his mouth dominated hers in the best way possible. She felt her back press against the wall and Harry press himself against her. She didn’t even have enough time to tell him it wasn’t a good idea. She was certain the words would never come out, not with his tongue in her mouth. Not with the way she was melting into him. It was almost too much, but she didn’t want to stop. It was maddening bliss.

The two of them didn’t break apart until they were completely breathless. Harry leaned his forehead against hers as their chests heaved from lack of oxygen.

“What… was… that?” Shay breathed.

“It was something,” Harry said lowly, with a light chuckle.

“Mm-hmm,” Shay said, licking her lips.

Harry pulled back from her just enough to look into her eyes.

“I like kissing you,” he told her, causing her insides to wrench.

“Oh my god,” she breathed, pressing her hand against her forehead as she turned away from. How the hell was she supposed to tell him they shouldn’t be kissing if he said things like that?

“What?” He asked.

“This is just so crazy,” she said, turning back to look at him.

“Not _so_ crazy,” he retorted with a shrug.

“You’re my brother’s best friend,” she reminded him.

“So,” Harry said, looking at her like it didn’t matter.

“Isn’t it weird?” She asked, knowing it was weird for her.

“Not really,” he said with a shrug. She didn’t really know what to say.

“Is it weird for you?” He asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Well, yeah,” she said honestly.

“Bad weird?” He asked.

“I… I don’t think so. I don’t know,” she said.

Her head was absolutely spinning. All she knew was she wanted him to kiss her like that again. _And again and again_.

“You can be honest with me, Shay,” Harry prodded.

“I liked it,” she told him, looking up into his eyes again as her cheeks flushed hot.

“Me too,” he said smiling widely before he leaned down to leave a peck on her lips.

“HAROLD! Where the hell—” They heard Louis call from down the stairs.

“Shit,” Shay gasped, gripping tightly to Harry’s arms to keep him at arms-length. Harry just gave her an amusing look.

“Anyone know where Harry went?” They heard Louis ask.

“I should go back down there before he comes up here,” Harry whispered.

“Probably,” she agreed, letting his arms go.

Harry reached up, grabbing her face again. His lips came down soft and slowly, kissing her more gently then before. _Seriously, oh god_.

“I’ll see you later, Shay,” he breathed, smiling at her.

“Yeah,” she croaked out right before he slipped out of the bathroom, leaving her in there alone.

It took her a few moments to wrap her head around what just happened. But what it came down to was, she was pretty sure she and Harry just started something. She wasn’t sure what, but she couldn’t wait to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Any feedback would be so REFRESHING!! I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for reading! <3**


	3. Chapter Three

“Hey,” Shay heard Harry say as he caught up to her as she was exiting school on Friday.

“Hey,” she replied, smiling widely at him.

She hadn’t really seen him around for a few days and she couldn’t help the wide smile and embarrassing blush that took over her face at the sight of him. Her insides weren’t doing any better either.

“You mind if I walk with you?” He asked, falling into step with her.

“Where’s Louis?” She asked immediately. Louis _always_ gave Harry a ride home from school.

“He’s going to Danielle’s house,” Harry told her.

“Oh. So what’s going on with them? Are they like… dating?” Shay asked. Louis never told her anything, so it was nice to have someone to get the details from.

“He likes her and I think she likes him. But I don’t think they’re to the relationship point… yet,” he said, giving her a half smirk and a cock of his eyebrow.

Shay couldn’t help but think his words held a double meaning. She smiled uncontrollably, looking off in the other direction so he couldn’t see how embarrassing she was being.

“So, yeah. Who knows?” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Don’t you have a car?” Shay asked, changing the subject quickly to help her gain her composure.

“I share it with my sister. Louis gives me a ride ‘cause Gemma takes it to work in the morning,” Harry explained.

“I see. So when Louis can’t give you a ride you have to walk?” She questioned.

“It’s not that big of a deal. _You_ walk home,” he said with a shrug.

“Only because Louis’ driving scares the shit out of me,” she laughed.

“Point taken,” Harry chuckled.

The conversation died out a moment later and they walked in silence for a few moments as Shay’s heart beat wildly in her chest. She couldn’t help but love the fact that she was with him.

“Do you wanna hang out, Shay?” He asked, catching her completely off guard.

“Us?” She choked out.

“Yes, us,” he said, letting out a small laugh.

“Uh, sure,” she stammered, her face burning with blush.

“Cool,” he said as they walked up her driveway together.

Harry was coming over to hang out with her and Louis wouldn’t be home – which meant that the two of them would be there all alone… together. That fact both elated and scared the shit out of her.

“Maybe we can watch _Dr. Phil_ ,” Harry said, smirking wildly at her as she unlocked the front door.

“Okay. That joke has to stop,” Shay said, shoving him into the door jam.

“ _Ow_. Geez. But it’s funny, Shay,” he laughed, following her inside.

“Maybe the first time,” she scoffed, playfully glaring at him as she kicked off her shoes.

“And every other time,” he laughed, taking off his shoes too.

“Dr. Phil is a super smart guy, okay,” Shay said as she made her way into the living room. That caused Harry to break out in a fit of laughter.

“Shut it, Styles,” Shay grumbled, plopping down on the couch.

Seconds later Harry sat down next to her – _right_ next to her, his laughter fading quickly. Shay immediately turned on the TV to get the fact that Harry was inches away from her out of her head. But of course it was a pointless act, because nothing would keep that from the forefront of her brain. She flipped the channels mindlessly, unable to concentrate on the fuzzy images as they flipped by.

“Seriously. _Dr. Phil’s_ not on?” Harry joked.

“ _Dr. Phil’s_ not on until four,” Shay answered immediately.

“So you really do watch _Dr. Phil?”_ He asked, smirking wildly at her.

“ _Yes_ , Harry. For the record, I watch _Dr. Phil_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes at him.

“Good stuff,” he laughed.

Shay kept flipping channels, concentrating only on the warmth of his thigh against hers and the smell of his cologne and the way his hand rest against his leg, so close to hers.

“ _Jesus_. Give me the remote, man,” he said, taking it from her hand easily. Shay stared at him from the corner of her eye as he started going through the channels.

“You flipped through all these channels like 80 times, but you were going so fast that— _ooh, Spongebob_ ,” he said, stopping on _Nickelodeon_. Shay howled out a laugh.

“Oh my god,” she said, shaking her head.

“What?” He chuckled, looking over at her amused.

“ _’Ooooooh, Spongebob_ ,’” she laughed, imitating him.

“I did not say it like that,” he protested, laughing lightly.

“You did,” she giggled.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, nudging her with his elbow.

“You stopped mid-sentence, dude,” she laughed.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, but kept the smile on his face.

“You’re funny,” she said.

“ _You’re_ funny,” he countered.

“You’re dumb,” she said, smiling over at him.

“You’re pretty,” he said, smiling back.

Shay’s smile faded only because he made her go crazy with his words. His smile only grew larger at her reaction.

“Do I make you nervous, Shaylynn?” He asked, using her full name on purpose.

“ _Uh_ …” She stammered, stumbled over the words in her head. Harry chuckled amusingly.

“I think you like saying stuff like that just to make me nervous, Styles,” Shay argued, crossing her arms over her chest, focusing back on the TV.

“Well? Did it work?” He asked, and she could see him smirking at her from the corner of her eye.

“No. Well, maybe a little,” she said, feeling the heat in her cheeks.

“A little?” He asked.

“A lot,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him playfully as she kept her arms crossed.

“You _are_ pretty, Shay,” he told her and she scoffed.

“ _Really_ pretty,” he kept on.

“ _Ohh-kay_. That’s enough,” Shay said, holding her hand up to stop him, which only made him smile wider.

“And I like kissing you,” he said, leaning toward her.

“Harry…” She breathed, looking into his eyes. It was her chance to put the kabosh on the whole thing. She felt like she needed to, but knew that she wouldn’t.

“Yeah…” He breathed against her lips. The anticipation was building so high inside of her that she thought she might explode.

“Nothing…” She finished, closing her eyes as he moved in further.

_Oh, God._ What was he doing to her? She was going crazy – _literally_ going crazy. His lips were warm and soft as they met with hers and they moved so effortlessly against hers. His tongue was like velvet on hers. She literally never wanted to stop kissing him. She liked it so much that I almost hated myself for it. He was her brother’s best friend. Louis would be so mad to find out what they were doing. Shay cringed slightly at the thought of Louis, but kept kissing Harry. She did her best to expel the thoughts of her brother while the babe with the curly hair and green eyes was kissing her.

Harry’s fingers tangled up into her hair as his kisses grew more aggressive. He was like a professional when it came to kissing. There was no lapse in movement, there were no awkward slip-ups, there wasn’t too much saliva – it was just… amazing.

Soon Harry was coaxing her back, letting his body squeeze in next to her on the couch. They were so close – their bodies touching in so many places. Shay just wanted to scream out in delight.

“Is this okay?” Harry breathed as he hovered above her on the couch.

“Mm-hmm,” Shay hummed pleasingly.

“Good,” he said, leaning back in to connect their lips.

Shay felt like she was on an adventure with him. They could be caught by someone at any moment – who knew how long Louis would be out. It was daring and fun and she never wanted those feelings to go away.

She felt Harry’s hand slide down between her and the couch, gripping on to the back of her thighs, pulling her body closer to his. She could feel his hardness press against her and it made her feel so much – from sexy to wanton to absolutely terrified. She turned him on. She couldn’t believe it. She sparked a desire in him – one she was most definitely feeling in return.

“Oh, God,” Shay breathed, breaking the kiss. She had to take a breath because she felt like her head was going to spin right off her body.

Harry wasn’t deterred though. He kept on, letting his kisses trail lustfully down her neck and throat. _Oh God_. She never wanted it to stop.

Harry’s hand came up, brushing her hair away from her collarbone as his lips came down to meet with it. Shay’s skin tingled from his lips as a spark traveled up her spine, lighting her up from the inside out. Harry slipped his hand back down, grazing over her breast before it met with her hip again. She was trying to concentrate on everything he was doing, but when his mouth was eating her alive, her brain really couldn’t focus on much else.

That was until she felt his hand slip up inside her shirt. _Oh, Lord_. His fingertips danced across the sensitive skin on her stomach before ascending further up her shirt. She didn’t want to stop him. She didn’t have it in her to stop him.

“Shay…” He breathed against her lips.

“Hmm,” she said in an unmistakable moan.

“Do I make you nervous?” He asked in a low tone, teasing her.

“A lot,” she said, nodding her head. He smiled widely before kissing her lips again.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

“A lot,” she admitted.

“ _Mmm_. Good,” he said and continued kissing me, slipping his hand up in her bra.

When his thumb swiped across the hardening bud of her nipple, she let out a gasp and he smiled against her mouth. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew exactly what was going to make her body react and writhe below him. He _knew_.

Their time was suddenly cut short when Shay heard the front door open.

“ _Shit_ ,” she gasped, pushing hard up against Harry’s chest with her hands.

As soon as Harry was off of her, she flew off of the couch in a matter of seconds, realizing her dad was home early from work. She didn’t even bother to look back at Harry as she dashed to the bathroom that was right off of the living room.

“Harry. How’s it going?” She could hear her dad ask Harry.

“Awesome. And you?” Harry said, clearing his throat.

“Awesome. Where’s Louis?” Dad asked.

“Uh… I think… uh, I came here looking for him but Shay said he wasn’t here. She let me stay… you know to wait for him,” Harry stammered out his lie. Shay cringed because he sounded so awkward and guilty.

Shay took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She was certainly a sight. Her hair was a mess, so she quickly patted it down, trying to make herself look normal because she knew she’d have to come out of the bathroom eventually.

“Where is Shay?” Dad asked.

“Uh, bathroom,” she heard Harry answer.

That was her cue. She flushed the toilet, rinsed her hands quickly and pulled open the bathroom door, trying to act as naturally as possible.

“Daddy, hi. What are you doing home already?” Shay asked, trying to look surprised and pleasant all at once.

“I got my work done early today and the boss let me take a few hours,” he told her. Of course he did – on that day of all days.

“Good for you,” Shay said, feeling super awkward as she stood in front of both her dad and Harry.

“Where’s your brother?” Mark asked Shay.

“Uh, some girl’s house,” Shay said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly as she took a seat in the recliner, giving Harry a sideways look. While she was in the bathroom he pulled the blanket from the back of the couch over himself, most likely to cover the hard-on he developed during their make-out.

“Some girl’s house?” Mark questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, uh… Danielle, I guess,” Shay told him, shrugging as she looked over at Harry.

“Yeah, that’s her name,” Harry said, nodding.

“Hmm. It would be nice if he asked permission to do that sort of stuff,” Dad grumbled, shaking his head as he walked out of the room.

Even after her dad left the room, Shay sat with her eyes on the TV, biting her lip. She was scared to look over at Harry. Shit got pretty real with him in a matter of minutes. She’d never done any of that outside of a relationship. It kind of made her feel a bit slutty, but it also made her feel sexy. _Harry_ made her feel sexy. When she finally turned her head to look at him and he was already looking over at her. He stared into her eyes for a moment before a smile spread across his face. She couldn’t help but smile back.

They had a secret and it was a good one.

 

\----------------------------

**Please do not be afraid to comment on the story. I love feedback. And if you just wanna chat, we can do that too. Let's be friends, yo! :)**


	4. Chapter Four

“ _Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho_ ,” Jay and Shay heard coming from the living room as they walked in the front door after a long day of shopping together that Saturday.

“That must be your brother and Harry, I assume,” Jay said, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah,” Shay said quietly as her stomach danced with butterflies at just the sound of Harry’s name.

“ _OHHHHH!”_ They shouted again in unison as Shay walked further in the house.

She could see her dad sitting in the recliner and Louis and Harry idly sitting on the couch together – the couch she and Harry got pretty intimate on just the day before.

“ _Oh my god_ , did you see that!?” Louis yelled at Harry.

“Yes!” Harry laughed, looking at Louis excitedly.

They were watching the big Penn State/Purdue football game that was on television. Louis had been talking about it non-stop all week. Penn State was both Louis and Harry’s favorite college team and they both said on many occasions they wanted to go to school there.

“Keep it down in there,” Jay said, smirking at the boys.

“If you were into football, mom – you’d be right here screaming with us,” Louis called out to her.

“I’m sure I would,” she said, rolling her eyes so Shay could see her. Shay giggled at her mom as she set her handful of shopping bags on the kitchen table.

Harry’s vision met with hers from across the room and all she could do was stare into his eyes from afar. A smile played at her lips and the same thing happened to him.

“FUMBLE!” Louis yelled and Harry’s vision snapped to the TV.

“DID YOU SEE THAT!? DID YOU _SEE_ THAT!?” Louis yelled to Harry and Mark, which caused Shay to be ripped out of her daze.

“Penn is kicking _ass_ today!” Louis laughed happily. Shay shook her head with a smile on her face. Sports were ridiculous, but what was more ridiculous was everyone’s obsession with them.

“Shay, will you grab these groceries and bring them to the kitchen?” Jay asked from the foyer.

“Huh? What?” She asked, looking over at her mother.

“Groceries. Kitchen. Now,” Jay said quickly.

“Oh, yeah. Okay,” Shay said, walking over to pick up the bags.

“I’d like some help making dinner too,” her mother told her.

“Sure,” Shay said, bringing the grocery bags into the kitchen as requested.

For the next hour or so, while listening to the guys scream and shout at their football game, Shay helped Jay put away the groceries and prepare dinner.

“It smells good in here, ladies,” Harry said as he and Louis ambled into the kitchen once the game was over.

“Looks good too,” Louis said, snatching up a piece of chicken from the pan on the stove that was supposed to be for the fajitas they were making.

“Get outta here!” Shay said, smacking his grubby little hand.

“We’re hungry, Shay. We’re _hungry_ ,” Louis said dramatically.

“Dinner’s almost ready, you vultures,” Jay said, smirking at them.

“Thank God,” Louis said dramatically as if he’d never eaten in his life.

“Who won?” Shay asked, eyeing Harry.

“Who do you think? PENN MOTHER EFFING STATE!” Louis said, giving Harry a high five.

“Watch it, Louis,” Jay snapped, scolding him for his vulgar language.

“I didn’t say it, Mom,” he protested.

“I don’t care,” she said, quirking an eyebrow at him in a warning.

“ _Mom_ , I’m eighteen,” he whined.

“ _Louis_ , it’s my house,” she said, mimicking his whine.

Harry and Shay both stood back, chuckling at the two of them.

“Go wash up and get your butts back down here to help put the food on the table,” Jay told both of the guys.

Shay watched as Harry exited behind her brother. He had a swagger about him. A sexy little saunter that drove her entirely crazy.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jay asked, looking over at her daughter.

“Yeah, why?” Shay questioned, furrowing her brow.

“Your face is all red. And you’ve kind of been quiet tonight,” she pointed out, eyeing her.

“I don’t know. It’s really hot in here,” Shay said with a shrug as she grabbed some of the food to bring to the table, so her mother couldn’t analyze her behavior anymore.

At dinner, Shay sat across from Harry and Louis. She had to keep her eyes focused on her food so she wouldn’t stare at Harry the whole time. Her mind wouldn’t stop reliving the memories of the two of them on the couch the day before, so it was her job to make sure her face didn’t show how entirely fond she was of the boy sitting across from her.

“So, Harry – are you applying to _Penn State_ this year?” Mark asked him.

“ _Yessir_ ,” Harry said through a mouthful. He chewed it quickly and swallowed before he spoke again.

“It’s my number one school,” Harry said, smiling proudly at him. Shay looked up momentarily to watch him.

“Louis, you too?” Dad asked, turning the question on his son.

“Of course, Pops,” Louis said, smiling cheekily, looking like a chipmunk with food shoved in his mouth.

“Good boys,” Mark said, smiling to himself.

“Shay, what colleges are you looking at going to?” Harry asked, directly speaking to her, which caught her off guard.

“I… I hadn’t really thought about it,” Shay squeaked out.

“Oh, come on, Shay. It’s never too early to think about it,” Louis added.

“Maybe you can come to school with us at _Penn State_ ,” Harry offered, with a smile all for her.

“Maybe,” she said quietly, feeling her cheeks redden.

“Oh, that would be a mother’s dream. You’d have your brother and Harry to look after you,” Jay said, smiling widely at her.

“Yeah, we’d kick all those college guys’ asses that tried to make any moves on you,” Louis chuckled.

Shay swallowed hard, trying to act natural. _Would that include your best friend, Louis?_

“You better not,” Shay chuckled awkwardly.

“ _Shaylynn_ ,” Dad scolded her playfully.

“What, dad? I’ll be in college,” she reminded him.

“I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to think about it. You’re my little girl. You’re only sixteen. If anyone even thinks about making moves on you, I’ll break their legs,” Dad told her sternly.

“God, dad,” Shay choked out.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Harry’s eyes go wide for a split second before his facial features evened out. But the reddening in his cheeks was unmistakable.

“Jeez, honey. You don’t need to be so graphic,” Jay told him.

“It’s the truth,” Dad said, taking another bite of his food.

“Oh, Louis can have a sex life, but I can’t?” Shay grumbled under her breath.

“Shaylynn!” Dad growled.

“What?” She snapped.

“You— just no. _No_ ,” he said, shaking his head.

“Mom!” Shay whined, looking over at her for a little help.

“Are we really having this conversation right now?” She asked, looking between Shay and Mark.

Harry and Louis just sat silently, wide-eyed and waiting, like witnesses to a car wreck.

“We are _not_ ,” Dad said, shaking his head.

“Shay, you’re sixteen. I’m eighteen,” Louis pointed out, causing the blood to boil inside of Shay.

“Louis, tell me – what age did you lose your virginity?” Shay asked, cocking an eyebrow at him, knowing full well he was only sixteen when he had sex for the first time.

“ _Virginity_ – we’re… _good god_. We are not talking about anybody’s virginity here. Not unless it’s to emphasize the point that you are keeping yours,” Dad choked out, looking over at Shay.

Shay folded her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair glaring at the wall. It was bullshit how much she got babied. Louis got free rein to do whatever he wanted, but she was being punished for being female.

“This is awkward,” Louis said quietly.

“ _Shut up_ , Louis,” Shay snapped at him.

“I’m just saying,” he said, putting his hands up in defense.

“Just eat,” Dad told them all.

They finished dinner in silence and as soon as her father said it was okay to leave the table, Shay stomped up to her room without helping clear the table. A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on her door.

“Come in,” Shay called out. The door opened slowly, revealing her mother.

“Hi, baby,” Jay said carefully, smiling at her.

“Hi, mom,” she said, putting her pencil down. She was working on the last bit of her homework to get what her father said to her out of her mind.

“Shaylynn, what was that about… at dinner?” She asked, tip-toeing over the words.

“I don’t know,” Shay said quietly.

“I think you do know, honey,” Jay said, giving her a knowing look.

“I’m just… I’m sick of there being a double standard. For girls and boys. For me and Louis,” Shay sighed and her mom nodded.

“I hate it too, but that’s just how it is sometimes. And with your father especially, because you’re his little girl. Daddies don’t want anything bad to happen to their little girls, you know. He just wants to keep you safe, you know that, right?” She explained.

“But I’m not a little girl anymore,” Shay grumbled.

“I know, Shay. You’re growing up,” Jay said, swiping Shay’s hair behind her ear in the mothering way she had.

Shay’s eyes met with the quilt on her bed as her finger traced over its pattern, letting the silence engulf them.

“Shay, are you… you’re not having sex, are you?” Jay asked carefully. Shay quickly looked up into her concerned eyes.

“No. I never have,” Shay told her honestly.

“Is there a boy?” Jay prodded. Shay tried to keep her expression as stable as possible to keep her mother from finding out the truth.

“No. There’s no boy,” she lied.

“What is with the unexpected blow up then? Are you thinking about having sex?” She asked.

“I mean, it should be an option, right? It was an option for Louis. He had sex at sixteen,” Shay told her mom.

“I really don’t even want to know how you know that,” Jay said, shaking her head.

“I was home when he—” Shay began to explain.

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t want to know? _Ugh_. In this house? Oh, jeez,” Jay groaned.

“How do you think I feel?” Shay grumbled.

“Anyway, I’m just saying, you don’t have to do everything your brother does. Because, between you and me, sometimes your brother is an idiot,” Jay said, smirking at her daughter. Shay laughed out loud, because he really was sometimes.

“But like, people wouldn’t have sex if it wasn’t good,” Shay pointed out and her mom sighed.

“It is good, Shay. But at the right time. Are you entirely sure it is something you want? Sex is a very complicated thing. It brings on a lot of drama. And it can be scary in many senses,” Jay explained.

“I don’t know if I’m ready, but I don’t want to be told I can’t do it if I feel like I am ready,” Shay told her.

“I don’t want you to do it unless you’re absolutely sure you’re ready. Preferably your wedding night,” Jay added.

“What if I’m not even ready on my wedding night?” Shay asked, playfully smirking at her mother.

“Well, it sucks for your husband then,” she said and they both laughed.

“Just, Shay… don’t try and grow up too fast, honey. You’re only young once and it would kill me if your innocence got taken away because of one stupid decision,” she told her and Shay nodded.

“How much have you actually thought this over?” Jay questioned.

“What? Sex?” Shay asked.

“Yeah,” Jay nodded.

“I don’t know. Doesn’t everyone think about it?” Shay asked curiously.

“Sure. But how close are you to actually being ready for it?” Jay asked. Shay shrugged her shoulders, feeling her cheeks burn up.

“Should I be getting you into the doctor’s office to get you on birth control?” Jay asked and Shay shrugged again.

Her mother’s breathing hitched in her throat as she realized her baby was really growing up. Shay’s eyes involuntarily shot up to hers.

“I… I’ll make an appointment,” Jay stammered out, looking almost scared.

“Mom…” Shay whispered.

“Hmm?” Jay answered.

“I don’t want you to be… _disappointed_ in me,” Shay choked out.

“I’m not, Shay. I’m not. It just… it just scares me a little. You’re my baby, okay. You’re _my_ little girl too,” she explained.

“I’m not having sex, but I promise you that I’ll be responsible when I do – no matter how near or far down the road that is,” Shay told her.

“Find a good boy first, Shay. Don’t… just don’t lose it to _lose_ it, okay. I don’t want you to regret it,” Jay said, looking at her with the saddest eyes. All she could do was nod in response. How was she supposed to reply to something like that?

“Just… I just want you to be happy and I don’t want to see you get hurt, Shaylynn,” her mom told her.

“Thanks, mom,” Shay whispered.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” Shay told her.

Jay hugged her tightly before she stood up and walked to her door.

“Shay…” She said again.

“Yeah?” Shay questioned, looking up at her from the bed.

“Go easy on your dad. You growing up is hard on him,” Jay told her.

Shay nodded seconds before her mom walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

There was a lot on her mind as she went to bed that night. She felt embarrassed that Harry was there to witness their family fight about _sex_. She could feel her face burning up at the thought of him sitting there so uncomfortable. Why did it have to happen when he was there? Shay groaned to herself in frustration just as she heard a soft knock on her door. Even though she couldn’t be sure she even heard it. But when she saw her door slowly open through the dimness, she knew she heard it. Shay sat up quickly, squinting her eyes to see who it was. Her heart was nearly pounding out of her chest, hoping it wasn’t a murderer coming to kill her.

“Shay…” She heard Harry whisper and she took a deep breath, noticeably calming down at the sight of him.

“Harry, what are you doing?” She whispered back as he closed the door, shutting them in her room together.

He definitely had balls. Especially after hearing from her father’s own mouth that he would break the legs of any boy who tried making a move on her. And it was under his own roof no less.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he whispered as he tip-toed over to her bed.

“Me neither,” she said lowly.

Harry sat down on the edge of her bed, smiling at her and all she could feel was guilt over the fact that he was witness to her family’s dysfunction.

“I’m sorry,” Shay said softly.

“For what?” He asked, knitting his eyebrows together questioningly.

“I’m sorry you were a part of that horrible dinner,” Shay apologized.

“It was delicious,” he said, smirking at her.

“You know what I mean,” she said, chuckling lightly.

“It’s alright. I feel like a part of this family most of the time anyway,” he said with a passive shrug.

“But… my dad. He won’t, you know, _break your legs_ , Harry. I wouldn’t let him,” she told him awkwardly and all Harry could do was chuckle.

“Your dad loves me,” Harry said confidently.

“But you saw how he reacted at the mentioning of me with a boy,” Shay countered.

“Yeah. _Eek_ ,” Harry said, pulling a face.

“Yeah. Totally,” Shay giggled.

“I mean, but… we’re not doing _that_ … you know. I mean… we’re just kissing,” Harry said, trying to justify their situation.

“Yeah,” Shay breathed, unable to thinking about anything but sleeping with him now that he disregarded it.

“I mean, it’s innocent,” Harry said. Shay knew her thoughts of him were most definitely not innocent.

“Yeah,” she said quietly.

“It’s just… you and me… and we’ve known each other… we _know_ each other pretty well. You know I’d never hurt you,” he said, scooting closer to her on the bed as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“Yeah,” she said once again. Her brain wouldn’t allow her to say anything else. She was just taking in all of his meaningful words.

“Shay…” Harry said, inching toward her and she knew he was going to kiss her again.

“Yeah?” She asked sounding breathy and wanton.

“You’re not going to hurt me, are you?” He breathed against her lips.

“N-no,” she stammered and he smiled moments before pressing his lips against hers.

“Good,” he said, coaxing her onto her back.

Harry was with her in her bed and her mind was mush. Harry was with her in her bed and she was going crazy. Harry was with her _in her bed_.

His hips fit perfectly between her legs as his weight enveloped her. She could already feel her body warming up from his touch and from the way he was greedily tasting her. She just wanted him to consume her. And she wanted to consume him right back.

Their breathing sped up as they kissed and Shay felt dizzy as she fought for oxygen through his lustful kisses. Harry’s lips moved down her neck as his hands moved up her shirt.

“Just take it off,” Shay panted, not believing the words just came out of her mouth.

Harry stopped to look down at her. She bit her lips as her wide eyes looked up at him.

“Are… are you sure?” He asked. She nodded her head slowly.

“Alright,” he breathed, pulling up the hem of her loose fitting t-shirt.

She sat up slightly and pulled her arms up as he lifted it completely off of her body. She wasn’t wearing a bra or anything underneath, which really surprised Harry. She could see the excitement dance in his eyes as he looked at her bareness for the first time. She bit her lip bashfully as she smiled, enjoying his reaction very much.

“Shay, have you done this kind of stuff before?” Harry asked.

“Uh, once or twice. Nothing too crazy,” she told him truthfully.

“With Ricky?” He asked and she nodded. Ricky was her first _real_ boyfriend. Pretty much the only boy she had any experience with.

“I knew I hated that kid for a reason,” Harry said, smirking down at her. Shay giggled as she laid back down completely.

“I’m glad it’s me now,” he whispered as his mouth came back down to hers.

Her heart sparked with his words. The more he said beautiful things like that, the more she fell for him. And she didn’t know if it was a good thing for her to be falling for him.

Harry’s hand came up, cupping her breast in it, causing Shay’s body to react with an array of goose bumps covering her skin. She relished in how gentle he was as he touched her. She almost felt like he was savoring every single moment. And maybe he was. As his mouth moved against hers, his hands kneaded her breasts softly, making her heart race and her breathing pick up.

When his thumb flicked over her the already hardening bud of her nipple, she almost cried out from the pleasing sensation that ran down her whole body. It was the most sexually frustrating thing ever, but it nothing compared to the way Harry made her feel when his mouth left hers and wrapped around the same nipple he’d just teased with his thumb.

Shay moaned inwardly, trying her best to keep as quiet as possible, but Harry was making it really hard. Her hands fisted in her hair as Harry’s mouth kissed its way down the valley between her breasts and made his way up the next peak, sucking and teasing it as well.

“Oh my god,” she breathed.

“Mmm,” Harry hummed, and she felt his mouth vibrate over it.

“ _Jesus_ , Harry. Oh my god,” Shay hissed, biting at her lip.

When it all was just too much for her – when her head wanted to explode, she pulled him back up to her, kissing him lightly on the mouth.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked sweetly.

“No. God, no. I just… oh man. I… let’s just… slow… slow down,” she said, swallowing and panting hard. Her mouth was so dry.

“Okay,” he said, kissing her lightly on the mouth.

He lay down next to her on the bed, rolling off of her completely. Shay rolled onto her side to look over at him.

“Is this just crazy? Is this all just completely crazy?” She asked. Harry turned his head to look at her.

“No,” he said simply. A smile spread across her face from his answer.

“Good,” she said, leaning up to kiss his lips.


	5. Chapter Five

“Ooh, Louis and Harry are both here?” Shay’s best friend Rachel said as they walked in the door after school that Monday.

“Yup,” Shay said awkwardly, kicking off her shoes.

“Hey, guys,” Rachel said to them in the flirty way she had as she walked toward the living room where they were.

Rachel knew the best ways to make a guy give her a second look – besides just being beautiful, she possessed some sort of flirting magic.

“Rachel!” Louis called out excitedly.

Rachel giggled at him and Shay rolled her eyes. There was a weird sexual tension between them for years, but Shay was certain nothing ever came of it – which she was grateful for. She didn’t want her best friend hooking up with her brother. Shay stopped in her tracks thinking about that thought. The realization sent a nervous chill through her body and caused her cheeks to redden. She was pretty hypocritical and she knew it.

“Hi, Shay,” Harry said, his eyes staring into her. Her words failed her, so she just gave him a small wave.

“Let’s go up to my room,” Shay said, turning to Rachel, wanting to flee away from them.

“Sure,” Rachel shrugged.

Shay turned out of the room and headed toward the stairs, trying to put as much distance as she could between her and Harry.

“Bye, boys,” Rachel said before she followed Shay upstairs.

Shay fell onto her bed in a huff, suddenly feeling extremely guilty for what she was doing with her brother’s best friend. And she realized she had her own double standard going on. She would never want her brother to get with her best friend, but she was getting with his best friend behind his back.

“What is with you today?” Rachel asked, flopping down on the bed with her.

“Nothing,” Shay huffed, knowing she’d been in a funk all day.

“Nothing?” Rachel asked, eyeing her best friend.

Shay put her hands over her eyes and let out a deep sigh which sounded more like a growl.

“Shay— seriously…” Rachel said, letting out a light laugh.

“I’ve… I’ve been doing something… something stupid,” Shay started to explain.

“What?” She asked, looking over at Shay curiously.

“Harry—we… _ugh_ ,” Shay breathed, shaking her head, not sure if she wanted to spill all the dirty details.

“What about him?” She asked wide-eyed, sitting up to look down at her. Shay sighed heavily again.

“Shay, you better tell me right now,” Rachel demanded, completely intrigued.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Shay told her as she sat up too.

“Oh, this is going to be juicy. Shay, please tell me you _banged_ his brains out,” Rachel said, smiling wildly at her.

“ _No_. I didn’t _bang_ his brains out,” Shay said, rolling her eyes at her vixen of a best friend.

“You did _something_ ,” she said, quirking her eyebrow.

“We, uh… we…” Shay stammered.

“Good God, girl. Spill it,” Rachel laughed.

“We’ve been making out… _a lot_ ,” Shay cringed, speaking the words out loud for the first time.

“ _Oh my god_ , Shay. He is _so_ hot, seriously,” Rachel said excitedly.

“I know,” Shay said, letting a smile curl up her lips.

“High five!” Rachel said and Shay gave her a very unenthusiastic high five.

“Okay, so why are you so bummed?” She asked, looking concerned.

“Because we’ve been sneaking around. Because he’s my brother’s best friend. Because it’s wrong,” Shay explained.

“So wrong, it’s right?” Rachel asked with a devilish smirk.

“No, it’s wrong. All wrong,” Shay said, shaking her head lightly.

“Are you trying to convince yourself of that?” She asked.

“Yes,” Shay whined.

“ _Shaylynn_ , Harry Styles is a hot piece of ass. And obviously he’s into it if it keeps happening,” Rachel told her.

“Oh, he’s into it,” Shay said under her breath.

“ _Oh my god_. You better tell me all the details right now,” Rachel laughed, shoving Shay’s arm.

“Oh my god,” Shay mumbled, grabbing one of her pillows, squeezing it into her lap.

“How… I mean, how did it happen? When did it happen?” She asked.

“I don’t know. A couple weeks ago. He just like… kissed me,” Shay explained.

“He kissed you?” She asked.

“Yeah. And then he told me he wanted to do it for a while,” Shay told her.

“Oh my god! Shaylynn Johannah Tomlinson!” Rachel yelled, causing Shay to internally freak out.

“Shut up! Seriously, shut up,” Shay scolded her, looking at her closed door, hoping Louis and Harry weren’t suddenly standing on the other side of it overhearing everything.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Shay, he’s _so_ pretty,” Rachel whined playfully.

“I know,” Shay said quietly.

“And he… oh my god. He totally has the hots for you,” she said, smiling widely.

“I know,” Shay said again.

“Oh my god,” Rachel sighed.

“Stop saying ‘oh my god’,” Shay snapped.

“I can’t. This is like, blowing my mind. He’s a boy that girls fantasize over. You do realize that, right?” She asked.

Shay shrugged. He was always just Harry to her. She’d known him since they were little.

“Like, he is… _amazing_ , Shay,” Rachel sighed.

“Just stop, okay. I-I… you’re not helping,” Shay told her, shaking her head.

“And you like, make out with him?” She asked.

“A lot,” Shay mumbled.

“A lot? Have you seen him naked? Tell me you’ve seen him naked,” Rachel asked enthusiastically.

“I haven’t seen _him_ naked,” Shay said, quirking an eyebrow.

“But he’s seen _you?_ Oh my god, _Shaaaaay_ ,” she whined.

“Shut up,” Shay grumbled again.

“He’s seen you naked, Shay?” She asked.

“Just… just topless, okay. Shut up or they’re going to hear you,” Shay said, realizing it was a bad idea to tell her over-zealous friend about everything while Harry and Louis were in the house.

“Shaylynn, I didn’t think you had it in you,” Rachel said, smiling proudly at her.

“What do you mean?” Shay asked, furrowing her brow in question.

“You being topless in front of a boy – not to mention a boy of Harry’s caliber,” she elaborated.

Suddenly Shay felt the blood start to boil inside of her. She loved Rachel, but sometimes she drove her crazy.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Shay snapped at her.

“Don’t get mad, jeez. You’ve just never… I don’t know. The only guy you’ve ever done anything with is Ricky. And since him you’ve just had like, this drought going on,” Rachel explained, causing Shay to roll her eyes.

“Just because I haven’t fucked around with half the male population means I can’t be a sexual person?” Shay asked, bitterness definite in her tone.

“I didn’t say that. I just… I don’t know,” Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders.

“I’m only sixteen,” Shay reminded her, but realized it really didn’t hold much meaning to Rachel.

Rachel was only sixteen too and she already had three sexual partners she’d done just about everything with. Shay was a virgin – which was not necessarily something she was cherishing, but it was something she wasn’t going to give up lightly.

“Shay, I’m not trying to make you mad, okay. I am just saying you should think twice before ending it with Harry. Girls only _dream_ of getting with that boy. Don’t be crazy,” she said with an awkward giggle.

Shay huffed and fell onto her back on the bed. She didn’t know what she should do.

“Louis would be so mad about it,” she added.

“And he’ll get over it,” Rachel said.

“You think?” She asked, looking over at Rachel.

“Yeah. He’s a guy. They get over things fast,” she said confidently.

“I just… I don’t want to ruin _their_ friendship,” Shay told her.

“They’ve been friends for like ever, right?” She asked.

“Basically,” Shay said with a nod.

“They’ll be fine. And seriously, what better than your best friend dating your sister? He knows Harry’s a good guy, right? He’d be lucky to see Harry dating you,” Rachel reassured her.

“I don’t know about dating…” Shay said, feeling her cheeks heat up.

“Why not?” She asked.

“I don’t know how far Harry would want to take this, Rach. And I’m not going to get my hopes up. Right now it’s just kissing,” she explained.

“Topless kissing,” Rachel corrected, bobbing her eyebrows at Shay.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Shay said as she rolled her eyes.

“Are you going to… you know… give him head or anything?” She asked.

“I don’t know. _Jesus_ ,” Shay scoffed.

“I mean, it’s a logical question. Being intimate the way you two are leads to other acts of intimacy, Shay. Soon he’ll want to get naked with you… and then what? Are you… will you have sex with him?” She asked.

“Oh my god, Rachel. We’re barely kissing right now, okay. I’m not even thinking about sex,” Shay scoffed.

That was a lie. Harry and sex went hand in hand in her mind. The second his hardness rubbed up against her, it was all she could think about. That mixed with his amazing mouth that got her hot and bothered every time they were together.

“Well, I’m sure he is. Keep your options open,” Rachel said, smirking wildly at her.

Shay didn’t know about Harry, but her options were wide open.

 

 

Shay’s phone buzzed on her nightstand as she was working on her homework later that evening. It was from Harry. It kind of freaked her out seeing his name displayed across her phone. She had his cell number for a while, but she never used it or vice versa. But there it was – a text from him.

**_Harry:_ ** _Meet me outside._

Shay’s heart sped up and her mind went into panic mode. Meet him outside? What was he thinking? Was he trying to get them caught? She sat in her bed for a few moments trying to wrap her head around what was just asked of her. Moments later she slammed her Biology book closed and scrambled out of bed.

She looked in the mirror at her appearance, to make sure she didn’t look like the creature from the black lagoon. Shay made a face at herself through the mirror. She was quite a sight. She was already in her pajamas and her hair was tied up loosely in a messy pony at the top of her head. She quickly re-did her hair and threw on some jeans before she ran downstairs trying to come up with something to tell her parents.

“Uh, Rachel… she’s kind of having a crisis right now. She wants me to come over for a bit. Is that okay?” Shay told her parents as they sat in the living room together, cuddled up on the couch watching a TV show.

“Is your homework done?” Jay asked immediately.

“Almost. I was working on the last bit of it when she text me,” Shay said, waving her phone in the air.

“Alright. Don’t be out long though. And I want you to finish up that homework before you go to bed,” Jay told her.

“I will. Thanks,” Shay said, smiling at both her parents before she turned on her heels, heading toward the foyer.

Excitement raced through her. It was all so new to her – sneaking out to meet a boy. She was going crazy. She threw on her shoes and zipped up her sweatshirt before she went out the front door. When she looked up she saw Harry’s dark green _Jeep Cherokee_ sitting out in the road, idling as he waited for her. Shay dashed straight to the vehicle, opening the door before getting inside.

“Hi, Shay,” he said, smiling widely at her.

“Hi,” she greeted, her smile matching his.

“Wanna get out of here?” He asked.

Shay nodded before he smiled again and put the car in drive. She had no idea where he was taking her, but she loved being there with him. And she knew she couldn’t stay away from him, no matter how wrong or hypocritical it was of her. She was hooked.

Less than five minutes later, Harry pulled into a wooded area, parking the car.

“Is this where you murder me?” Shay joked, smirking at him.

“Damn. You got me,” he laughed, leaving the radio on a low volume, setting the mood. Shay laughed out loud.

“Nah. I was thinking we could talk or kiss or whatever,” Harry said, smiling dreamily at her as he rested his head against the headrest on the seat.

“Ahh. Talk or kiss or whatever, huh?” She asked, smirking mischievously at him.

“Or whatever,” he said, giving her a lazy smile.

He was so calm and confident, it was sexy. Shay almost couldn’t take the way he was looking over at her with half-lidded eyes – the only light coming from the glow of the radio.

“I’ve been having some… second thoughts lately,” Shay said quietly, looking away from him for the first time since they parked.

“Oh,” Harry said, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice.

“But I realized… I don’t know. I just can’t seem to stay away,” she told him truthfully. Her stomach was tied in knots and her heart was in her throat.

“ _Oh_ ,” he said, perking up noticeably.

“Yeah,” she said awkwardly, looking at the clock on the radio – 7:45pm.

“What were these second thoughts?” He asked curiously.

“Just… I don’t know. I’d just hate it if Louis hooked up with my best friend, ya know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“ _Hmm,_ ” he hummed, nodding his head.

“It just… it bothered me a bit, but I… I like this too much,” she explained.

“This?” He asked, smiling at her.

“You,” she admitted quietly.

“I like you too, Shay,” he told her, seconds before he leaned his lips in, kissing her softly.

Shay knew for certain things between them weren’t going to end anytime soon – not with the way he made her feel every time he kissed her.


	6. Chapter Six

Harry’s mouth was hot and luscious as it trailed down the length of Shay’s neck. She was straddling over his lap in the backseat of his Jeep and she could feel herself pressed against his hardness. A fact that only turned her on even more. It was now the third night where Shay was “at Rachel’s” as far as her parents were concerned – when in reality she was making out with Harry in his Jeep in the secluded wooded area he took her to the first night.

“Oh my god, Shay. You are so sexy,” Harry groaned against her collarbone with his hands up inside her bra. She still wasn’t exactly comfortable with being topless out in the open – even if the place was wooded, so Harry had to live with her shirt on. At least she unhooked her bra so he had easier access.

“Oh my god,” he moaned as he lifted her shirt up so he could put his mouth on her.

“Mmm,” Shay moaned, bucking her hips into him.

“ _God_ ,” he groaned because she was rubbing herself against him.

“Is that too much?” Shay asked, looking into his eyes thinking she took it too far.

“No, no. It’s… _oh god_. It’s good,” he breathed heavily.

Shay scraped her fingernails lightly up his bare chest before bucking her hips against him again.

“Fucking hell,” he breathed, leaning his head back. So she did it again.

“You’re going to kill me, Shay,” he breathed, grabbing her tightly in his arms before he maneuvered her onto her back on the seat.

He positioned himself between her legs and began kissing her heavily again. Shay was wearing a skirt, in which he had hiked completely up and was enthusiastically feeling up her upper leg and bottom area.

“What am I going to do with you?” Harry chuckled, leaning his head against her forehead.

“I don’t know. Whatever you want?” Shay said, biting her lip. His eyes widened for a moment before he smirked at her.

“Don’t say things like that, Shay. Not unless you’re really ready,” he told her.

“I mean, like… there are things I _am_ ready for,” she said.

“I… I’ve noticed,” he smirked at her.

“Am I… am I being too forward?” She asked, swallowing hard, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

“No, no. I just… this is… you make me so… _uhh_ ,” he groaned.

“I make you so… uhh?” Shay smirked at him.

“You turn me on, Shay. A lot,” he explained.

“You turn me on too, Harry,” she smirked at him, feeling a blush creep up her face.

“Mmm,” he hummed against her lips as he kissed her.

And then she felt his hand move from her outer leg to her inner thigh. He was moving forward. His hand slowly moved over her mound, cupping it in his hand. Her breathing hitched in her throat, thus breaking their kiss.

“Is this… is this okay?” He whispered.

“Uh-huh,” she said, sounding entirely too breathy for her liking.

His lips came back down to kiss her, but she couldn’t concentrate on it with his hand on her the way it was. Their kiss broke and he buried his face in the nape of her neck as his fingers worked their way inside the top of her panties. Shay felt his lips kiss the sensitive skin at her neck and it sent a shiver over her body. Her brain was racing and her heart was beating in her throat. She was trying hard not to tense up as his fingers slowly explored her.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed lowly.

“Are you okay? Is this okay?” Harry whispered in her ear.

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed as she bit her lip.

“Good,” he breathed, letting his face fall back down in the crook of her neck.

The moment his fingers went inside of her she let out a ragged breath. His movements sped up slightly and he leaned up, kissing her lips. With his free hand, he pushed up her shirt, exposing her breasts as his mouth came down to work over them. He was driving her crazy. She was surely going to lose it.

“Oh my god,” Shay panted.

Suddenly, his hand came up and out of her underwear and he ceased his mouth movements. Panic spread over her, thinking someone caught them. Shay’s eyes shot open looking at him as he sat up on his knees.

“Can I…?” He asked as his hands gripped onto the sides of her underwear.

Shay nodded her head, feeling relief as she let him pull the garment down her hips. She lifted up her bottom so he could pull them off. It was dark, but the moonlight was enough – they could see each other perfectly.

“God, Shay. You are beautiful,” Harry said as his hand moved over her.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed again, running her hands through her hair.

She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She couldn’t believe she had someone like Harry to do this with.

“Would you… would you be okay with my… my mouth?” He asked.

“Your mouth?” Shay choked out, feeling kind of queasy. The butterflies in her stomach were killing her.

“Yeah. I mean… if you’re not comfortable…” He started.

“It’s… it’s okay,” she stammered.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to do anything you don’t want me to do,” he told her.

“It’s okay, Harry,” Shay breathed out her consent.

“Okay,” he said, kneeling down on the floor of the Jeep.

_Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod_. Was this happening? Was this real life? Shay was certain she was dreaming. When Harry’s mouth met her womanhood, she knew she was going to lose her mind, in the best way possible. It was such a foreign experience. No one had ever been this close to her – it was crazy. But, god. _Oh, god_. It felt amazing.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed, swallowing hard.

“Does it feel good?” He asked.

“Mmm,” she moaned quietly.

“Good,” he said, going back to his exploration.

_Mother of God_. She was going to lose it.

“Oh my god, Harry. Oh my god,” Shay said, getting squirmy. Her whole body was reacting to him.

“Just relax,” he told her.

She tried. She really tried. But it was all so new to her.

“Oh my god,” she gasped loudly – louder than before.

“Are you okay?” He snickered.

“Oh my god, Harry. I don’t think… I don’t think I can handle anymore,” she breathed heavily.

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Uh-huh,” she said, swallowing hard. Her mouth was so dry, there wasn’t much to swallow.

“Okay,” he said, sitting back on his legs.

“Oh my god,” she said as she sat up, the muscles in her legs feeling stiff and tired. Harry sat down next to Shay in the backseat.

“Did you like it?” He inquired.

“It was… I’ve never felt anything like it before,” Shay told him.

“Shay?” Harry asked.

“Hmm,” she answered, still trying to compose herself.

“Have you ever had an orgasm before?” He asked.

“Uh… I don’t know,” she said, suddenly feeling extremely inexperienced.

“You would know. I’m certain you would know if you had one,” he said, smirking at her.

“No, I guess,” she said with a shrug. He smiled at her licking his lips quickly.

“Next time, you should let me finish,” he told her with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Next time?” She choked out.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling at her. Shay nodded, trying to wrap her brain around all of it.

“You did like it, didn’t you?” He asked again.

“I did,” she told him.

“I’m glad,” he smiled at her, leaning over to kiss her quickly.

“You should wear skirts more often. You’ve got hot legs,” he smiled at her as his hand rubbed her inner thigh. Shay chuckled nervously.

“And they’re easy access,” she pointed out.

“That too,” he chuckled.

 

The next day in school, every time Shay saw Harry, she would blush and smile at him. Just the night before he had his hands and mouth on her – on her _pleasure_ areas. Every time she saw him, the heat would pool between her legs. She kept wondering if it was normal. Was it normal to be _that_ attracted to someone?

Harry came over after school – to hang out with Louis of course. Shay sat with them for a while as they played video games, but decided it was almost torturous being that close to Harry and not being able to touch or kiss him. The night lagged on. It was Friday and Harry was sleeping over, so there was no night time rendezvous in the woods for them. She would need to wait until the middle of the night and hope Harry was thinking the same thing she was by meeting up in her room.

When Shay woke up to Harry crawling into bed with her, she knew he was thinking the same thing all along. He was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt, but immediately removed his shirt when she rolled over to greet him.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hi,” she said, smiling up at him before he leaned down to kiss her lips.

Shay wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closely to her. Their tongues danced around together and she was already getting into it as she pulled Harry down flush against her body. She definitely dressed for him – wearing only a scant tank top and a pair of panties. It was the least amount of clothing they had ever worn with each other and the friction their bodies made with each other was killing her slowly.

“Oh, god…” Shay breathed as Harry pressed himself against her.

He started a slow, sweet rhythm against her that had her panting almost immediately. Both of them were breathing heavily and she couldn’t handle the way her body felt. It was insane the amount of different sensations that were shooting through her.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed, breaking their kiss again.

And out of nowhere, Harry pulled himself away from her, hovering above her.

“Oh man,” he said, rolling onto his back next to her, pushing his fingers through his hair.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Mm-hmm,” he breathed.

Shay nodded, looking up at the ceiling trying to build up enough saliva to be able to swallow again.

“Have you… have you ever given a… a blow job?” Harry stammered. Shay’s breathing hitched in her throat.

“Shay, you don’t have to. I’m… I’m just asking,” he said, turning to look at her.

“I… I have… once,” she admitted.

Her ex Ricky. It was awkward and weird because she didn’t have a clue what she was doing and he wasn’t much into helping her along. It was just a shitty experience.

“I… I don’t think I’m very good at it,” she said with a shrug. She could feel her cheeks burning, hoping Harry couldn’t see it through the darkness.

“I can’t imagine you’d be bad at it,” he told her.

“I don’t know. It was awkward. I didn’t really know what I was doing,” Shay admitted.

“There’s really not much to it. If you’re… if you’re willing, I could… you know… guide you,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said.

“I mean, seriously Shay. You don’t have to. It’s just… I don’t know… a suggestion,” he said.

“I want to,” she told him, and she did. She wanted to do everything with him.

“You do?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she said.

“Okay,” he smiled at her.

“Okay,” she said, sitting up on her knees.

Shay couldn’t believe she was about to see Harry Styles completely naked. Like Rachel said, there were plenty of girls who would kill to be doing this with him.

Harry pushed down his boxers, revealing himself to her. And she couldn’t help but point out to herself that Harry was much bigger than Ricky was. She bit at her lip, trying to hide the smile that worked over her mouth.

“Just… you know… however…” He said.

“Oh… yeah,” she said, focusing on the appendage in question.

“Just don’t, you know, tell all your buddies about how you got a terrible blow job,” Shay said, trying to make a joke out of it as she smirked at him.

“Shay, I would never…” Harry said sincerely. She nodded her head as her hand wrapped around it.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as she slowly began to pump it. She’d given Ricky enough hand jobs to know exactly what she was doing in that area.

Shay decided to just go for it, licking her lips before she wrapped her mouth around the head of his penis, continuing to work her hand up and down. Harry let out a low moan deep within his throat.

“That’s good,” he breathed.

Shay let her saliva work as a lubricant as she wrapped her lips around her teeth, bobbing her head a bit before she came up, licking him.

“Jesus, Shay,” he breathed lowly.

“What? Is it bad?” She asked, feeling almost scared.

“It’s amazing,” he smiled at her.

She smirked proudly at him and went back to what she was apparently doing well. His words and moans gave her the confidence to continue and made her feel sexy, so she kind of got into it.

“Fuck,” he groaned as she dipped her mouth down almost the entire length of him.

She bobbed her head in multiple successions on him and his body began to shake. She knew he was close to finishing, so she sped up.

“Fuck, Shay. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay,” he said, pulling her mouth off of him.

He spilled all over his stomach and she bit at her lip, watching it all unfold. He was magnificent.

“Oh my god, Shay,” Harry said, running his fingers through his hair. Shay giggled.

“That was so good. My god,” he breathed, looking over at her.

“I… I’m glad,” she smiled at him.

“Do you… do you have something I can clean myself up with?” He asked awkwardly.

“Yeah, hold on,” she said, getting out of bed. She grabbed the box of tissues that was on her dresser and brought it to him and he cleaned himself up, with a smile on his face.

“Come here,” he said, holding open his arms.

Shay crawled up to him and cuddled up in his arms. They just lay in her bed in the dark holding each other.

When her eyes opened again, sunlight was peeking through her window. She was still contently wrapped up in Harry’s arms.

_Shit_.

“Harry! Harry, get up. Fuck. _Fuck_ ,” she said, shaking him awake.

“Hmm?” He asked, opening one eye to look at her.

“You’ve got to get up. You’ve got to get out of here,” she said panicking.

“Wha… what time is it?” He asked.

“Fuck, I don’t know. Time for the sun to be up. Get up, seriously. Oh my god. You’re still naked. _Shit_ ,” she said, internally freaking out. She did not want them to get caught.

“Hey, hey, hey. Just calm down,” he told her soothingly.

“Oh my god,” she said, running her hands through her hair.

“It’ll be okay,” he said, pulling himself up, finding his boxers. He stood up, pulling them on. And then his shirt.

“It’s only six am on a Saturday, Shay. We should be fine. I’ll just go out to the living room and pretend that I slept out there,” he told her as she still was internally panicking.

“Yeah. Yeah,” she said, nodding her head. He gently grabbed her arms to get her attention.

“We’ll be fine,” he said calmly.

“I just don’t want Louis to find out like this. And my dad… fuck,” Shay groaned.

“We’ll be fine,” he said again, more sternly than before and Shay nodded, hoping he was right.

Harry kissed her sweetly before he turned to leave her bedroom.

“We’ll be fine,” he smiled at her before closing the door behind him.

Shay sat down on her bed, just waiting for the raising of voices once Harry exited her bedroom. But nothing came. And she slowly relaxed, letting her body crawl back into bed. She missed Harry’s body heat entirely too much, it made her sad.

When she couldn’t get back to sleep, she drug herself and her large blanket from her bed out to the living room. Harry was laying on the couch, curled up with the afghan from the sofa wrapped around him.

“Psst,” she said. Harry turned to look at her and smiled immediately.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked. She shook her head.

“Me neither,” he smiled.

“Move your feet,” she said and he did as asked.

Shay sat down with him on the couch cuddling up with her blanket.

“Share?” He asked, pulling the blanket toward himself.

Shay nodded and let him take some of it as she turned on the TV. For a moment she questioned whether or not being on the couch with him would be construed as sexual or not, but in the end she decided it was innocent enough. It might have been something she and Harry did before they started hooking up.

Shay and Harry got comfortable on the couch, her head on one end and his on the other. Before she knew it, Harry’s body heat and the quiet talking on the TV had lulled her back to sleep. And everything was perfect.

 

 

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	7. Chapter Seven

“What the hell? Get up, you two. Stop being gross,” Louis said, kicking the couch.

Shay’s eyes fluttered open, looking around to see Harry on the other end of the couch, who was also just waking up.

“Where’s the remote, Shay?” Louis asked, digging on the couch for it, right over where Harry and her legs were perfectly intertwined with each other’s.

Shay sat up quickly, breaking away from Harry so Louis would not see or feel them touching the way they were.

“Where is it?” Louis asked impatiently.

“Jeez, calm down, dude,” Shay said, pulling the remote out of the couch cushion, handing it to him.

Louis sat down in the recliner and started flipping channels. Shay looked over at Harry, who was still lying down. He was chuckling to himself and she sent him a playfully glare. He laughed out loud and she pinched him under the blanket.

“Ow. Ow. _Jesus_ ,” he laughed. Louis’ head shot over to them, looking at them oddly.

“What is up with you two? This is weird,” Louis pointed out, which caused Harry to laugh louder.

“Shut up, asshole,” Shay laughed at Harry, trying to get him to stop laughing.

“Seriously. It’s practically incestuous that you were sleeping on the couch together,” Louis scoffed, still eyeing them.

“Nuh-uh. Gross,” Harry said, glaring at Louis.

“What are you two doing?” Louis asked, waiting for one of them to give him a valid answer as to why they were sleeping on the couch together.

“Nothing. I just… I came out here this morning because I couldn’t sleep and Harry was out here sleeping on the couch. He whined when he saw my blanket and wouldn’t leave me alone until I shared with him. He’s a _baby_ ,” Shay said, rolling her eyes for added dramatic effect, coming up with a fool-proof lie.

“He _is_ a baby,” Louis said, tossing a throw pillow at Harry’s head.

“Hey!” Harry laughed, using his hand to deflect the pillow.

“Mom’s making breakfast,” Louis said as he flipped the channels until he found the Saturday morning cartoons.

“Sweet!”  Harry said, sitting up on the couch.

Harry weaved his legs back in-between Shay’s again once Louis was contently watching the TV. He smirked at her and she smirked back coming up with a devious plan in her head to fuck with him just for fun. She started rubbing his crotch seductively with her foot, eyeing him the whole time. He bit his lip and looked at her wide-eyed, shaking his head ‘no’ in protest. Shay smirked wildly at him as she continued.

“ _Oh_ —” He choked out and Shay bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

His eyes stayed on hers, trying to get her to stop, but she knew he didn’t really want her to. He could have easily stopped her with his hands. She could feel him getting hard with the friction from her foot and he buried his face into the back of the couch to stop from moaning.

“Come and get breakfast, you guys!” Johannah called to them. Louis got up immediately, making his way to the kitchen.

“ _Rape_ ,” Harry breathed lowly through a laugh, looking straight at Shay.

“Ha! Yeah right. You liked it,” Shay laughed, standing up from the couch.

“ _Jesus_. What am I supposed to do with this raging _hard-on_?” He whispered, looking at her helplessly.

Shay smiled widely at him, shrugging her shoulders before she headed to the kitchen. It took Harry a few minutes before he came to breakfast. Shay noticed he was wearing jeans and they were fitting a little snugger than usual. She snickered to herself as he sent her a playful glare.

“Shay, we’ve got that doctor’s appointment today,” Mom pointed out.

“Oh, yeah,” she said quietly, looking up at Harry tentatively before she looked back down to her plate. She had entirely forgotten.

“What doctor’s appointment?” Mark asked, shoving food into his mouth as he looked between his daughter and his wife.

“Oh, just a routine check-up,” Jay lied entirely and Shay bit at her lip, hoping like hell her father would never find out it was a doctor’s appointment to get her on birth control.

And really it couldn’t have come at a better time. Especially with the way that things were progressing with her and Harry. Shay wasn’t _planning_ on having sex with Harry, but if it happened, it happened.

After breakfast, Shay took a shower and went to her room to get ready for the appointment. As she was getting dressed, there was a short knock on the door before it opened and Harry quickly slipped inside.

“Harry, what are you doing in here?” Shay gasped, surprised that he was being so bold with her brother and her parents roaming around the house.

“Relax. Louis went in the shower right after you and your parents are downstairs,” he said, walking toward her.

Shay quickly pulled up her jeans, feeling weird that she was standing in front of Harry in her bra and underwear, even though he’d seen her naked and _touched_ her all over before. It was just something about the daylight hours that felt odd.

“You’re going to get us caught,” she smirked at him, secretly loving that he was standing in her bedroom with her.

“Oh, _I’m_ going to get us caught? How about the foot job you decided to give me with Louis sitting right in the room,” Harry scoffed, smirking wildly at her. Shay giggled thinking back to Harry’s priceless reaction to said foot job.

“You’re bad, Shay,” he scolded her playfully and she just shrugged with a smile, knowing he secretly loved it.

“So, Mr. Daredevil, why are you in here?” She asked him with a quirk of her eyebrow.

“I want to kiss you. I couldn’t go all day without kissing you,” he smiled as he grabbed onto her hips, pulling her to him.

“Oh, yeah?” She questioned as her whole body filled with goosebumps from his touch.

“Yeah,” he breathed, leaning his lips down to hers.

His mouth moved fluidly against hers, before slipping his tongue into tangle with hers. She was only wearing a bra on her upper body, so Harry’s hands found skin easily, exploring what he could.

“It’s hard for me to contain myself with you,” he told her with his hands cupped over her chest.

“Sometimes it’s okay to lose control,” she breathed.

“ _Jesus_ , Shay. You can’t say stuff like and _expect_ me to contain myself,” he chuckled. Shay giggled as she leaned up and kissed him again. He maneuvered his hands up into her bra as his mouth moved rhythmically with hers.

“Oh my god, Harry. This is just crazy,” she breathed against his lips.

“But I don’t want to stop,” he told her daringly.

“Neither do I,” she breathed.

“So, let’s not,” he said, kissing her again.

They stood in the middle of her bedroom making out, wrapped in each other’s arms for quite some time before she needed to be the voice of reason.

“My mom… she’s going to come up here looking for me… I have a doctor’s appointment,” Shay panted, finally breaking their kiss.

And almost as if on cue, there was a knock on the door, startling them both.

“ _Shit_ ,” Shay breathed, quickly pushing Harry into her closet before she shut the door on him.

“Yeah?” She called out to whoever was on the other side of the door as she threw her shirt over her head.

The door opened tentatively before her mom’s head popped in. A second later she was stepping into Shay’s room closing the door slightly.

“Are you almost, ready?” Jay asked.

“Yeah,” Shay said, her voice sounding strained and her face flush.

“So, I was thinking. We should probably keep your dad in the dark about getting you on birth control today,” she told Shay.

Shay cringed because of the fact that she was bringing it up when Harry was hiding in her closet. She was absolutely mortified.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” Shay said, trying to find a way to get her mother to shut up and get her out of her room.

“He just might have a heart attack knowing that his sixteen year old daughter is potentially having sex,” Jay explained.

“Yeah, okay. Uh, Mom – why don’t I meet you downstairs? I’ve got a few more things to do before I’m ready,” Shay said, really trying to push her out.

“Okay. I’ll be in the kitchen with your father. He’s trying to fix that damn cabinet still,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes.

“Alright. See you down there,” Shay said, smiling awkwardly at her. Jay nodded and went out the door, closing it behind her.

Shay took a deep breath before she opened up her closet door and right away she noticed the shit-eating-grin on Harry’s face as he looked at her.

“What?” Shay choked out as her cheeks flushed immediately.

“You’re getting on _birth control_ , Shay?” He asked suggestively.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Shay said, pointing her finger at him as she narrowed her eyes.

“Hmm. What kind of ideas are you talking about?” He cooed, wrapping his arms around her.

“My mom… she had a talk with me about the ‘sex talk’ we had a dinner that one night. She thinks it will be a good idea to get me on it. You know, just in case,” Shay explained as she averted her eyes away from him. This conversation was almost as uncomfortable as the ‘sex talk’ in question.

“Just in case,” he said with a nod, trying to act serious.

“Like I said, don’t get any ideas,” Shay said, pushing his shoulders playfully.

“No ideas. I promise,” he smiled and kissed her.

“Now, you’ve really got to get outta here,” Shay told him, pushing herself out of his arms.

“ _Uhh_ ,” he whined as she moved away from him.

“We’re gonna get caught, Harry,” Shay said, cracking open her door slightly.

She could still hear the shower running, so she knew Louis was in there. And her dad and mom could be heard talking in the kitchen.

“Okay, come on,” Shay said, waving her hand for him to go out her door.

“One more kiss,” he said, grabbing her face in his hands, kissing her passionately.

“Now get outta here, you lunatic,” she giggled quietly as he dipped out the door.

 

The doctor’s appointment was incredibly embarrassing with her mother sitting in the room with her. She hated every second of it, but in the end she was sent off with a prescription for birth control and a small bag of condoms. Carrying the brown bag of condoms out with her mother was pretty much mortifying, especially when she kept catching her glancing at the bag in her hand.

“Just because you have condoms, Shay, doesn’t mean you need to use them,” Jay told her as they were driving home.

“ _Mom_ …” Shay choked out.

“I… that really didn’t come out right. Of course I want you to use them if you _do_ have sex. But just because you have them doesn’t mean you _need_ to have sex,” she explained.

“I’m not having sex, Mom,” Shay whined as her face burned red hot. She did _not_ want to talk about it.

“But, don’t rush yourself just because you have the condoms,” Jay told her.

“Do you want them? Take them,” she said, trying to hand them to her as they sat in the car on their way back to the house.

“No. I want you to have them… just in case,” she said, making Shay’s head spin. She wanted her to have them but she didn’t want her to use them? _Okay, Mom_.

“Make up your mind, woman,” Shay laughed uncomfortably, rolling her eyes.

“Just… I want you to be safe,” Jay said finally, letting out a sigh.

Shay didn’t say anything in response. She just looked out the side window, hoping her mom was going to drop the embarrassing subject. But what she brought up was even more uncomfortable.

“So, you and Harry…” Jay said with a wide smile on her face.

“What?” Shay choked out, her vision snapping in her mother’s direction.

“I saw you two sleeping on the couch together this morning,” she pointed out.

“Oh. Yeah… uh…” Shay stammered and she could feel her whole face heat up.

“You two looked pretty cozy all snuggled up together,” Jay commented, cocking her eyebrow at Shay, giving her a sideways smirk.

“I was on one end of the couch and he was on the other,” Shay pointed out dryly.

“It’s not that big of a couch, Shay,” she smirked at her.

“Harry… he’s like… he’s like my _brother_ , Mom,” Shay choked out, trying her best to make the lie believable.

“You’ve been getting pretty close lately, haven’t you?” She asked, prying where she had no business prying.

“I’ve known him since I was little,” Shay countered, feeling her entire nervous system tremor inside of her because of the subject.

“Yeah, but you’ve never been like _this_ with him,” Jay pointed out.

“Like _what?_ What are you getting at?” Shay shot at her, trying to use anger to get her to shut up.

“He’s cute, Shay,” Jay said, smiling at her.

“Oh my god, Mom,” Shay scoffed, holding her hand over her face, feeling so incredibly embarrassed.

“What? I’m just saying. Couldn’t there be potential there?” Jay asked, smiling suggestively at her.

“Can we drop this? _Oh my god_ ,” Shay sighed, looking out the passenger window.

“You don’t think he’s cute?” Jay continued to pry.

“MOM!” Shay growled.

“And he’s such a good kid,” she went on.

“MOM!” Shay shouted, staring her mother down with narrowed angry eyes.

“ _Shay!”_ She mimicked.

“You’re making me incredibly uncomfortable,” Shay told her, which was absolutely the truth.

“Why? Because you think he’s cute?” She laughed.

“MOTHER!” Shay shot at her.

“You’ve never looked at him like that?” Jay asked and Shay was sure she was torturing her on purpose.

“Why are you pushing this!? He’s Louis’ best friend, Mom,” Shay snapped at her.

“So? Louis would probably be relieved to see you with someone he trusts,” Jay added.

“ _Jesus_ , Mom,” Shay sighed, rolling her eyes.

“I’m just saying…” She laughed.

“Please, stop saying it!” Shay told her impatiently.

“Fine,” Jay said and pursed her lips together.

“ _Thank you_ ,” Shay said with as much teen angst as possible. _Good God_.

Her Mother was practically planning their arranged marriage. How incredibly awkward.


	8. Chapter Eight

Shay woke up from her phone loudly vibrating on her nightstand. Before she even got the chance to grab it through the dark, it vibrated itself straight off and on to the ground. Shay grumbled, turning on her bedside lamp looking over the side of her bed for the now missing phone. The only way she was able to find it was because she could still hear it buzzing underneath her bed. She quickly retrieved it, praying that it was a life and death emergency that had just woken her out of a pretty damn good slumber.

But when she saw Harry’s name flash across the screen, all her hostile feelings dissipated from her body and a smile formed across her lips.

“Harry,” she breathed into the receiver.

“Hi,” she heard his deep voice, sounding a little too cheerful for half past midnight.

“Were you sleeping?” He asked quietly.

“Mm-hmm,” she breathed airily into the phone.

“I’m sorry,” he said and she could hear the hint of a smirk in his voice.

“It’s okay,” she told him, rubbing at her eyes.

“So, I’m sitting outside your house,” he told her.

“What?” She said excitedly, sitting up quickly in her bed. Harry chuckled on the other end of the line.

“Sneak out with me,” he told her.

“What? Harry…” She said quietly.

“Come on, Shay. Sneak out. Come kiss me,” he said, adding a very tempting reward.

“Why didn’t you just sleepover tonight? It would have been easier,” Shay pointed out. It was the weekend after all.

“I dunno,” he said quietly.

A whole week passed since she got on birth control. A whole week of kissing Harry in backseats and secret corners.

“Just come meet me,” he pressed on.

“But…” Shay stammered.

“ _Shaylynn_ …” He whined. She loved hearing him say her name like that.

“You know, you’re a bad influence on me,” Shay giggled into the receiver.

“But you love it,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I do,” she conceded, biting at her lip.

“So you’ll come out?” He asked quickly.

“ _Fine_ ,” she agreed with a whine, throwing the blankets off of her body.

“Don’t sound so enthused,” he chuckled, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“Shut up. I’ll be down in a few minutes… I’ve gotta… dress and stuff,” she told him.

“Okay. Bye,” he said quickly, ending the phone call, not giving her any time to change her mind.

Shay scrambled out of bed and threw off her pajamas, and put on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie over her bra and underwear. She quickly brushed her teeth before grabbing her phone and house keys. She tip-toed as quietly as possible down the stairs, praying to God she wasn’t about to get caught. Once out the door she saw Harry’s idling Jeep in front of the house. It was ballsy to park right outside. Anyone could look out the window and see him.

Shay ran to the car so they could get out of there as fast as they could without being seen. Once she was securely in the car, her lips immediately greeted his, feeling a sense of excitement intoxicating her.

“Hi,” Harry said, smiling against her lips.

“Hi,” Shay giggled, pulling back to look at his face.

“I’m glad you came out,” he told her, smiled over at her as she buckled her seatbelt.

“You better be,” she giggled. With that he put the car in gear and drove off quickly.

Playing softly over the stereo was music that was all too familiar to her. It was music Louis had played for years – music that Shay had long ago learned the words to and found her own love for. She leaned over, turning the volume knob up. _Name Taken_ – such a good band. And the song seemed to fit perfectly with what they were doing. Harry looked over at her and smiled.

_“We can drive far away. We can forget the way back. We can start over. We could drive far away. We can forget the way back. We can start over,”_ Shay sang along to the song as Harry looked over at her with a wide smile on her face.

“I love this song,” she hummed, almost feeling entrance by the music, by Harry.

“I’m glad,” he said, smiling over at her.

Harry pulled into their wooded area – a place they both became quite familiar with. Just as he put the vehicle in park, the song changed and it was better than the last.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed, listening to the opening bars of _This is For Keeps_ by The Spill Canvas.

“What?” He asked looking over at her.

“This song. Kiss me. Kiss me to this song,” Shay said, smiling brightly at him and he let out a laugh.

“I’m serious,” she said, climbing into the folded down backseat.

Earlier in the week they discovered that folding down the seat gave them more room to make out than just laying across the small bench seat. Harry came prepared with a blanket for them to lay on too, which was a nice touch.

“Come here,” Shay said, holding out her arms for him as he too crawled into the back.

Moments later he was onto top of her, connecting their lips instantaneously.

“Mmm,” Shay breathed against his lips.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed against hers.

His hands were already working her sweatshirt over her head and she let him, before pawing at his shirt, lifting it up.

“Can we… can we be naked with each other, Shay?” Harry breathed lowly. Her body tensed underneath him at the request.

“I… I know you’re not ready to go all the way, okay. I won’t. I promise. I just want to feel your soft skin against mine,” he told her.

With his reassuring words she nodded, giving him permission to strip her down completely before he did the same to himself. The feelings rippling through her body were almost unbearable. _Fear. Anxiety. Self-consciousness._ But there was also the good that came with the bad. _Love. Lust. Longing._

Shay’s mouth met his in a heated kiss as she felt his body press against her own. And she loved it – the feeling of their bare skin touching. She felt electric with his heated skin against hers. Almost out of nowhere, Harry materialized another blanket, pulling it over his back as her legs accommodated his body in-between them.

Their mouths never stopped. Shay didn’t want them to. She just wanted to kiss him forever while this perfect song played in the background.

_“Eternity will never be enough for me. Eternally we’ll live our infallible love. Follow me into the sea. We’ll drown together and immortalize you and me. Leave behind this lonely town. We’re both better than this, it’s not worth being down,”_ the stereo played the last bits of the song.

Shay whimpered against his lips when the next song – a fast paced Jack’s Mannequin song – came on.

“I can turn it down if you want. Or change the song,” he told her.

“No. Don’t stop,” Shay said, pulling his lips back down to hers.

Their tongues danced harmoniously with each other’s as their lips pressed perfectly together. The sweet friction of their body’s only added to it all. Harry broke the kiss only to move his lips across her neck, kissing a sweet trail down. Shay whimpered through the stillness, unable to hold in the moan that had been bottled up since they started this.

“Mmm, Shay,” Harry breathed against her collarbone before he continued down.

Her fingers tangled together in his hair as he kissed his way down her body. Before she knew it, his head was kissing over the most heated region of her body – between her legs.

“ _Jesus_ …” Shay moaned, sounding breathy and exasperated as his mouth began working slowly to bring her over the edge.

“Just relax,” he cooed.

She did her best to focus on relaxing her body and to focus on his lips and tongue and the way they kept her continuously panting.

“Harry… oh my god…” Shay breathed, pulling harder on his hair than she meant to.

It was sweet torture and she couldn’t help but think how she was sixteen years old and things like this happening to her was crazy beyond belief. She was sixteen years old and she had a boy’s face between her legs. She shook off the thought because she quickly realized she let her body tense once again, unwillingly. But that time it was different.

Her body tensed and then she felt an intense feeling of pleasure. A pleasure she never wanted to stop feeling. She wanted to bottle it up and keep it with her forever. Seconds after, her body shuddered hard and she let out a low moan. Harry’s mouth kept moving and another shudder shook through her. And as her body finally relaxed, Harry’s pulled up to look at her.

“You had one, didn’t you?” He smiled up at her. Shay nodded, swallowing hard trying to moisten her dry throat enough to talk.

“I’m glad,” he told her sincerely.

“That was amazing,” she breathed out.

“I’m glad,” he said again, crawling up into her arms resting his head against her bare chest.

They laid there, Harry in her arms for a bit as her heart rate went back to normal. She felt so free and she had Harry to thank for that.

“I like you a lot, Shay,” Harry breathed against her skin. She smiled widely in the dark.

“I like you too, Harry,” she told him honestly.

“I know,” he said quietly. Shay laughed out loud, shoving him playfully.

“What?” He chuckled, looking up at her.

“You _know_?” She giggled.

“I could tell. I could tell a long time ago,” he told her.

“When?” She asked incredulously.

“Not long after I kissed you that first time,” he told her, resting his head back down on her chest.

“Hmm,” she breathed, knowing she couldn’t argue with that.

“You wanna know how I knew you liked me?” Harry asked.

“How?” She asked, smiling bashfully.

“Your eyes sparkle when you look at me,” he told her, his voice vibrating against her chest.

“Oh, yeah?” She questioned, smirking wildly through the dark.

“Yeah. It’s like you have stars in your eyes,” he told her.

Shay laughed, even though it wasn’t funny. It was probably the sweetest thing ever and it made her like him even more.

“Like now,” he said, looking up at her.

“Yeah. Am I that obvious?” She asked as a blush arose on her cheeks.

“Yes. And I love it,” he told her honestly as he leaned in and left a kiss on her lips. _Oh, God_.

They lay together talking and kissing until the sun started to come up and they knew their night needed to come to an end.

“I should get you home before it’s too late,” Harry told her.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, not wanting the night to end.

They dressed quietly and he drove her home. Harry kissed her lips sweetly once he was parked in front of her house.

“Thank you for making me come out,” Shay told him sincerely.

“I’m honored to be the one who gets to corrupt you,” Harry said with a sly smile.

“Yeah, yeah,” she smiled and rolled her eyes as she leaned in and kissed him again.

“Call me to let me know you got inside okay,” he told her as she pushed open the passenger door and got out.

“I will,” she said, smiling widely at him.

“Bye, Shay,” he said with a small wave.

“Bye, Harry,” she said, closing the passenger door behind her.

After her short phone call to Harry to let him know she was safely back in her bed, Shay snuggled up under her blankets with Harry so heavy on her mind that she thought she might never get any sleep.


	9. Chapter Nine

“Shay… _pssst_ , Shay,” she heard as she stood by her locker on the last day of school before winter break.

She looked around, but didn’t see anyone trying to get her attention, so she went back to loading her books into her bag.

“ _Shaaaaylynnnn_ ,” she heard someone whine her name and her head snapped in their direction, but still didn’t see anyone.

“What?” She called out to whoever it was.

“Shit, Shay. I’m over here,” she heard them say louder and she realized it was Harry. Her vision followed the direction of his voice and saw him peaking his head around the corner at her.

“What are you doing?” She asked, smirking widely at him.

“I don’t know. Sneaking up on you,” he laughed, shrugging his shoulders passively.

“You’re being stupid. Just come over and talk to me,” Shay laughed, shaking her head as she went back to packing her bag. He immediately abandoned his stealth routine and walked over to her with a smirk on his face.

“What’s up?” She asked him nonchalantly.

“I just… I didn’t want Louis to see me over here talking to you… or for anyone else to see, I guess,” Harry shrugged.

“Well, I figure people know we know each other. It’s not that big of a deal if we’re like… talking, right?” She said, talking in a hushed tone as she eyed him.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said, shrugging again.

“Are you excited to be flying out to California for Christmas?” Shay asked, even though she knew he wasn’t.

They were both pretty bummed about being away from each other for four days. She didn’t like it. He didn’t like it. _Stupid Holidays_.

“That’s what I came over here to talk to you about,” he said with a smile.

“What?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows in question.

“I’m not going,” he said happily.

“What? Why not?” She asked him, confused.

“There’s a _Penn State_ college rep that’s going to be in New York. Louis and I are going to see him the day before Christmas Eve. My parents weren’t very happy about it, but I’m going to be with you guys for Christmas,” he said, smiling widely.

“What?” She asked again, feeling the excitement bubbling up inside her.

“Yeah. We already worked it out with your parents,” Harry said, smiling proudly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Like, sooner?” She asked, smiling just as wide as he was.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I didn’t want to get _my_ hopes up,” he told her.

“Oh my god. I want to hug you right now,” she told him and he smirked slyly at her.

“Later,” he chuckled.

“I’ll be doing more than hugging you later,” Shay laughed out loud.

“ _Ooh_. I can’t wait,” Harry cooed.

…

“So what was that about doing more than hugging me later?” Harry breathed against Shay’s ear as he pushed her inside of her bedroom and shut the door behind them after school that day.

Shay giggled as his mouth immediately attached to the skin on her neck.

“Harry…” She giggled.

“ _Mm_ , Shaylynn…” He moaned against her skin.

“You know, I am so grateful that Louis and Danielle started dating. God, these days after school… _mmm_ …” Shay hummed as Harry coaxed her toward her bed.

“I enjoy these days after school too,” he said, moving his mouth swiftly over the sensitive skin of her neck. He was sending shivers and goosebumps all over her skin with just the movement of his lips.

“ _Mm_ ,” Shay hummed, biting her lip as she pulled Harry’s shirt over his head.

“Getting down to business. I like it,” he said, smiling eagerly at her.

“Your impatience is rubbing off on me,” she laughed as he pushed his hands up her shirt.

“ _Mm_. I’ll _rub off_ on you,” he chuckled, gyrating his hips against her playfully.

“ _God_ ,” Shay giggled. And he laughed along with her.

“That was so cheesy,” Shay laughed, smacking his arm.

“You love it. Shut up and kiss me, you brat,” he scolded her as he threw her shirt over her head.

“Oh my god,” Shay laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

He used his weight to topple them onto the bed and Shay giggled as they fell together in a heap onto the mattress. Harry immediately crawled on top of her, connecting their lips again.

“When are we going to tell people about us?” Harry asked, stopping mid-kiss.

Shay’s whole body tensed underneath him at his words. She thought he was just as content as she was about keeping this a secret.

“Uh…” She stammered.

“Does it scare you?” He asked.

“How do you mean?” She asked, eyeing him.

“I mean, that at just the mentioning of telling people, your whole body contorted and you looked completely scared out of your mind,” Harry said, rolling off of her to sit on the mattress.

“Well… I mean…” She stammered, unable to look at him. What did she mean? What was she thinking? How did she feel about the subject?

“I don’t know,” she said quietly, sitting up next to him.

“You don’t know what?” He asked, looking over at her.

“I don’t know. I just… I like where we are. I like this, Harry. And I feel like… I almost feel like if we tell people, that it will ruin it,” she said, still unable to look him in the eye.

“What? Like you won’t like me as much if people know about us?” He asked, looking more than a little concerned.

“No. Nothing like that,” she sighed.

“Then what?” He asked.

“I’m scared of what Louis will think and do. I’m scared that if our parents know, that they’ll censor us – that they’ll regulate when and where we can see each other. Because they will, Harry. I’m sixteen. We can’t hide from that. I mean, we’re doing this – we’re doing this all behind everyone’s back… because if they knew… if they knew, they’d try to stop us. And I don’t want to be stopped, Harry. I like this. I like us. I like being this way with you. I like that you sleepover with my brother and sneak in my room in the middle of the night. I like that I can tell my parents I’m going to Rachel’s and sneak out to fool around with you in the woods. It’s just… if they knew, then there would be way too many restrictions and I don’t want that. I want my freedom with you. I want to have adventures with you. This is all an adventure, Harry. And I love it,” Shay explained, finally meeting his eyes.

“Well…” He said, nodding his head.

“I’m sorry. That’s just how I feel,” she said, bowing her head, hoping he wasn’t going to get upset with her.

“No, it makes perfect sense. I hadn’t thought about it like that,” he told her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to his body.

“Yeah,” she said quietly as she let him pull her down with him on the mattress. She cuddled up in the crook of his arm and enjoyed their skin-to-skin contact.

“Although, I would like to hold your hand in the hallway and kiss you before class,” he said quietly. Shay smiled widely and nuzzled her nose into his ribcage. He was perfect.

“I’d like that too,” she said through a wide smile.

Harry leaned down to kiss her forehead and then sighed.

“If you really want to tell everyone, we can,” Shay said quietly.

“No. I agree with you. I like our adventures,” he said, squeezing her lightly in his arms.

“I don’t want it to end,” she said, looking up at him through her long eyelashes.

“Me neither,” he said finally, smiling down at her before kissing her lips.

They laid cuddled up in each other’s arms for a few peaceful moments. She wasn’t Harry’s girlfriend, but she was the closest thing he had. Harry wasn’t her boyfriend, but she considered him hers anyway.

“Shay…” He breathed.

“Hmm…” She hummed against his skin.

“We’ve been doing this for a while…” He pointed out.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, unsure where his train of thought was leading the conversation.

“I mean… we’ve done everything…” He stammered. Shay propped herself up to look at him.

“Everything but…” He said. Suddenly she knew exactly what he was getting at.

“Yeah,” she said quietly, sitting up all the way.

“Did I make you uncomfortable? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said, sitting up next to her.

“No. No, I’m fine,” she told him.

“I just… I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it in a while. I was just kind of wondering where you are at on the topic,” he said awkwardly, shrugging his shoulders passively.

“I don’t know,” she breathed out.

“I mean, are you still… is it still something that is completely out of the question?” He asked carefully.

“It’s never been completely out of the question,” she told him, causing his eyes to shoot up to hers.

“What?” She giggled at his reaction.

“I don’t know. I just knew you weren’t ready,” he said, shrugging his shoulders again.

“I don’t know exactly where I am when it comes to that, Harry. But I promise that you’ll be the first to know,” she said, smirking slyly at him and he smiled back.

“Okay,” he said with a nod of his head.

…

“We ask God to bless this meal and this family. We thank you God for bringing us all together. And we welcome Harry here for our Christmas dinner. Thank you God for our health and our happiness. In Jesus’ name, Amen,” their father prayed, blessing their Christmas feast.

“Amen,” everyone iterated before they began passing the food around the table.

It was Christmas Eve, which was also Louis’ 18th birthday, and Johannah had Christmas music playing around the house all day long as she prepared the meal. It was their family tradition to have dinner as a family on Christmas Eve before going to the Christmas church service. Then on Christmas Day they spent the entire day shoving their faces with food at both their grandparents’ houses after spending Christmas morning opening presents. Now this year, they would add Harry to all of that. Their parents were happy to have him. They considered him one of their own anyway since he’d been coming around since grade school.

Shay gave Harry a smirk as he sat across the table from her, next to Louis. He smirked back as he scooped a helping of green beans onto his plate.

“So boys, tell me about this _Penn State_ meeting,” Mark said to the Louis and Harry.

“Well, it was pretty much just this like… I don’t know… seminar,” Louis shrugged.

“It was more like a… an open discussion. Like, there were representatives there and we could ask them anything we wanted to. And like, prepare for applying,” Harry chimed in.

“Yeah. Like they told us everything we’d need in our applications. How many reference letters that would be impressive enough and what kind of references we’d need. They helped us out with a lot of the fine print crap. I’ve got like a whole crap-load of notes and pamphlets and stuff,” Louis told him.

“Great. So are you glad you went?” Mark asked, smirking at the guys.

“For sure. 100%,” Louis said, nodding at his father.

“Definitely,” Harry chimed in.

“Hey, Shay. I’ll make sure to keep all this information for when you apply to _Penn_ ,” Louis said before he shoved a forkful of mash potatoes in his mouth.

“What?” She said, nearly choking on the sip of milk she’d just taken.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to go to _Penn_?” He asked.

“Uh… I think you and Harry said I wanted to go to _Penn_ ,” she countered.

“You don’t want to go to _Penn_?” Louis asked, almost looking hurt that his little sister didn’t want to follow in his footsteps. Meanwhile, she could feel Harry’s eyes piercing into hers, but she kept hers steady on Louis, scared to meet Harry’s.

“I never said that…” She said, averting her gaze from everyone.

“ _Penn_ is a great school, honey,” Jay said, patting Shay’s wrist.

“I know,” Shay said quietly.

“They’d be lucky to have you. They’d be lucky to have you all,” Mark added in.

“I know,” Shay said.

She didn’t want to come clean on the true hesitation she was feeling over _Penn State_. She was thinking logically. Logic told her that even if Harry became her boyfriend, that they’d never last in a long distance relationship for two years while he was in Pennsylvania at college and she was back in New Jersey in high school. They’d never last and she wouldn’t want to put either of them through that. Long distance relationships never work. So imagine them being apart for two years, dating different people, possibly finding long lasting relationships with other people… what happens when Shay shows up at _Penn State_ two years after her fling with Harry? It would be weird and awkward and she didn’t know if she wanted to deal with that.

But then again, on the other hand, she thought of how ridiculous it all was to base her decision about college on a boy.

“I just… I haven’t decided on where I am going to apply yet. I’m keeping my options open,” Shay said, finally looking up, only to meet Harry’s stare at the most inopportune time.

His eyes narrowed at her in question and she wasn’t quite sure if he took it as a hidden meaning or not, but she didn’t mean it to be. Her options were strictly closed off when it came to him – she wasn’t looking for anyone else to spend her time with. Harry had her attention – her sole attention.

“Well, you’ve got time. _Penn State_ is always an option though,” Mark said, taking a bite of turkey.

“And we’d be there to protect you, Shay. Remember that,” Louis said proudly.

“Thanks,” she said quietly, giving Harry a small smirk.

“I love that my children aren’t afraid to love each other,” Jay beamed as she looked back and forth between Shay and Louis.

“Mom…” Louis whined, rolling his eyes as Shay shook her head.

“What? I love this family. You too, Harry,” Jay said, patting Harry’s arm.

“Thank you. I love this family too,” Harry said, smiling at her, before looking over at Shay.

After dinner, Shay helped her mom with the dishes and the cleaning of the kitchen as the guys went to watch football, of course.

“Mom, I can take care of the rest of these dishes. Go get ready for church,” Shay told her.

“Are you sure?” She asked skeptically.

“I’m sure. I’m almost done anyway,” Shay told her.

“You’re my favorite daughter,” Jay smiled widely before kissing Shay’s cheek.

“I’m your only daughter,” Shay chuckled as Jay headed out of the kitchen.

As Shay washed the dishes, she tried to expel the thoughts of the future – of how this thing with Harry was destined to fail no matter what. Even if they fell madly in love with each other, it wouldn’t work out. Even if they wanted so badly for it to work out, it wasn’t going to and she knew it.

“Hey. Do you need any help?” Shay heard Harry’s voice come from the doorway of the kitchen, startling her out of her thoughts.

“Oh. Ha. I’m almost done,” she said as she pulled the plug from the sink drain after the dishes were all done.

“Oh,” he said, walking farther into the kitchen toward her.

“I’ve just got to dry these last few…” Shay told him.

“Let me help,” he said, grabbing the towel from the counter top so he could dry the dishes.

“Okay,” she said quietly, grabbing a clean towel from the drawer.

The two of them stood in the kitchen, silently drying the dishes together.

“Come to my house with me tonight,” Harry said, looking over at her.

“What?” Shay asked, looking at him oddly.

“Come with me to my house after church tonight, after everyone goes to bed,” he told her.

“To your house? Why your house?” She asked, feeling confused.

“Cause nobody’s there. Because we won’t have to hide,” he told her.

“But…” She began to protest, but didn’t have much to say in the way of a rebuttal.

“I just… I want to be with you. I want to be able to talk above a whisper. I want to be able to be open with you,” he explained. Shay smiled widely at him.

“You’ll come with me?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she agreed with a nod of her head.

“Awesome,” he said, smiling proudly as they went back to silently drying the dishes.

 


	10. Chapter Ten

Shay was nervous and happy and excited and scared shitless as she lay in bed that night waiting for Harry to wander in her room to tell her they would be sneaking out to go over to his place. There was so much going on inside her head – so much chaos. She didn’t know how they were going to just run off to his place without getting caught. It was one thing to lie to her parents and tell them she was going to Rachel’s, but to have both of them sneaking out in the middle of the night seemed so risky – but an adventure none the less. Hadn’t they both just confessed to loving their adventures together? They could now add this to the list.

The house was so still. Shay was certain everyone was asleep and had been for a while. But where was Harry? Why wasn’t he coming to get her? She turned her head to look at the clock – 12:40 am. Their time was slowly dwindling down. That was when she decided to take matters into her own hands and see what the hell was taking him so long. She quietly tip-toed to Louis’ bedroom door and cracked it open just enough to see inside. Through the glow from his fish tank she could see his bedroom floor was completely vacant. Where the hell was Harry?

Shay slowly closed the door as quietly as she could and stood there puzzled for a moment. Did he go without her? Was she supposed to meet him there? Confusion got the better of her as she walked toward the living room. When she looked up, she found him. In the glow of the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree, he was fast asleep on the couch, curled up underneath the afghan that usually hung over the back of the couch.

A smile immediately captured Shay’s lips at the sight of him. He was so beautiful and peaceful. She almost hated to have to wake him. But she knew he was looking forward to this. During the church service, every time their eyes met in the pew, a smile would take over his entire face. He was being so entirely obvious, but thankfully the members of her family were completely oblivious to it.

Shay knelt down on the floor in front of him and just admired his face for a moment. If she had one wish, it would be for everything to work out just the way they wanted them to – for them to be together, for their families to be okay with it – for _Louis_ to be okay with it.

“Harrrry…” Shay whispered in his ear. He didn’t move or flinch an inch.

“Harry,” she said quickly as she rattled his arm a bit. Nothing.

“Harry Styles, wake up,” Shay breathed in a loud whisper.

When that failed as well, she pressed her lips firmly against his. Before ending the kiss, she gave his bottom lip a light nibble before pulling back slightly to look at his face. That was when she felt his hand on her back and saw the smile form on his lips. Before he even opened his eyes, his hand was pulling her toward him for another kiss.

“I thought I’d never be able to wake you,” Shay giggled softly as she pulled back to look into his now opened eyes.

“I’m glad you did,” he said, smiling at me.

“It’s… it’s almost one. Do you still want to go to your house?” Shay asked.

“Yes. Wow. It’s late,” he said, sitting up immediately.

“I’m sorry. I-I thought you’d come get me when you were ready,” she said, biting her lip, feeling bad that she waited so long to find him.

“No, it’s okay. I was going to… but I fell asleep,” he said, looking sheepish as he pull off the blanket.

“Are you ready?” He asked finally.

“Yeah. I just have to grab my bag,” she told him.

“Okay. I’ll meet you by the door,” he told her.

“Okay,” she said as she began to get up. But he pulled her into his arms and kissed her once more before letting her go. Shay giggled as she made her way back to her bedroom.

As she grabbed for her bag, she noticed the tiny square box with the tiny red bow on the top, perched on top of her dresser. She couldn’t forget that. She swiped it up in her hand and placed it in her bag before she headed out of her room.

Harry was waiting for her by the front door, already dressed in his jacket, hat and boots. He smiled at her as she made her way down to him. She quickly and quietly dressed for the winter weather and they headed out the door, locking it behind them.

“That was easier than I thought it would be,” Shay said, smirking at him as he took her hand in his.

“Look…” Harry said, pointing ahead.

“What?” She asked, looking around.

“It’s snowing,” he said with a boyish smile on his lips.

Shay’s eyes went wide in admiration as she watched the fluffy snowflakes fall from the sky. It hadn’t snowed, not even an inch yet that season. They were all thinking they weren’t going to get a white Christmas. But somehow Shay knew that God was saving it for that exact moment. And she couldn’t help but believe that it was all for her and Harry.

Shay smiled over at him and kissed him on the lips. His smile never faded as they walked hand in hand through the neighborhood to his house.

“I’ve got something for you,” Harry said as he unlocked the front door to his house.

“Yeah?” She asked, smiling as he led her inside.

“Yeah. It’s nothing much, but I wanted to give you something for Christmas,” Harry said as they took off their outerwear in the foyer.

Shay had something for Harry as well, but she didn’t expect anything in return. She didn’t spend any money on his gift – even the box and bow were something lying around the house in the Christmas decoration box.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she told him.

“I didn’t buy it. I made it,” he said, smiling proudly as he took the stairs up to his room. Shay followed right behind him.

Shay hadn’t spent a whole lot of time in the Styles home over the years. After all, Harry was Louis’ friend not hers. But she had been there on occasion over the years, having been asked to babysit Harry’s younger sister, Jackie a while back.

Shay truly loved Harry’s mother, Anne. She was beautiful inside as well as out. She always made her feel at home whenever she was around. And now, Shay couldn’t help but think that Anne would be one of the biggest supporters if a relationship were to developed between her and Harry.

Harry’s bedroom – she had never been inside those four walls. And now finally getting a glimpse of it after all these years seemed to make her feel even closer to him. There was so much artwork up on his walls – artwork that most definitely wasn’t purchased, but handmade. As her eyes registered the easel in the corner, she realized they were his – all of them.

“You… you paint?” She stammered.

“In my free time,” he said with a smirk in her direction, shrugging his shoulders.

“I didn’t know. You never told me,” she said as her eyes worked over the amazing paintings that had been created from images floating around in his head.

“They’re amazing, Harry,” Shay said with wonder in her eyes.

“They’re really nothing. Just paintings,” he said as he shut his bedroom door.

“But they were painted by you,” she said in awe.

“Does that make them any better than any other crap out there?” He chuckled.

“Yes,” she said honestly. And he just laughed.

“Well then, I guess I know you’ll like your present then,” he said, leaning down to pick up a small canvas that had been leaning against his dresser.

“You painted me a picture?” She asked wide-eyed as she looked into his eyes.

“I did,” he smiled bashfully at her.

“Harry,” she breathed out.

“You haven’t even seen it yet. It’s not that good,” he laughed.

“Let me be the judge of that,” she said holding out her hands.

With another bashful smile, he handed it to her. Shay turned it over quickly in her hands and let her eyes wash over it.

“Is that…” She gasped.

“You? Yes,” he smiled.

“When… how…?” She asked, her eyes totally fixated on the painting.

It was a painting of her peering out a window, her long blonde hair falling at her shoulders. There was a cartoon-like feel to it, like all of his other work, but she could tell it was her.

“It’s how I picture you in my head. You’re always asking ‘why’. That’s just who you are… you always question everything. And I figured this was the best portrayal of it,” he explained. Tears immediately formed in her eyes as she looked at the painting.

“Harry…” She breathed. He chuckled under his breath.

Shay looked up at him for a moment before she closed the gap between them and kissed him hard on the mouth. Pulling back, she buried her face in the hollow of his neck, but still held him in her arms.

“Harry?” She breathed against his skin.

“Hmm,” he hummed.

“I love you,” she admitted to him and to herself. Harry’s body tensed slightly before he wrapped his arms tighter around her.

“I love you too, Shay,” she heard him whisper in her ear.

And in that moment, she knew her Christmas present to him was incredibly justified.

“I-I want to give you something too,” she said pulling back, wiping at the tears that formed in her eyes.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

Shay walked over by his bedroom door, where she laid her bag down on the floor. She propped the painting up against the wall and she quickly rummaged around in the bag until she found the small box with the small bow on it and pulled it out.

“Here,” she said, holding it out to him.

Shay’s stomach was tied in knots as Harry’s vision met the box, a smirk forming on his lips.

“Well, not much to it, is there?” Harry joked.

“Believe me, there is,” she told him as goose bumps ravaged her skin.

He grabbed the box from her and fiddled with it in his fingers, before looking back up at her.

“Open it,” she coaxed him.

Shay watched as he took off the top of the box, his eyes peering inside. When he registered what his gift was, his eyes came up and focused on hers.

“Shay…” He breathed out, his face looking stunned. She bit her lip and smiled bashfully at him.

“But… are you sure? I mean, this… I mean… this is big. Way bigger than a painting,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sure,” she said with a nod.

“Are you really sure? Or…” He said, his eyes staring into hers.

“Harry, I’ve thought about this… a lot, okay. I’m sure. I’m ready,” she told him confidently.

He took another ragged breath in before he pulled out the contents of the box – one shiny silver square package. _A condom_.

Shay tip-toed over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Merry Christmas,” she breathed against his lips before she kissed them.

“Shay…” He said again.

“Harry…” She sighed, realizing he was still trying to see if she was completely certain.

“I just… I don’t want this to be something you’re going to regret. This is big. This is huge. And… and I want to make sure I’m the person you truly envisioned this to happen with,” he said quietly.

“Harry, I just told you I love you. I wasn’t lying,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I-I know,” he stammered.

“Isn’t it supposed to happen with someone you love – someone you’re comfortable with? Someone you trust?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Well, you’re all of those things to me, Harry. You are who I envisioned,” she told him.

His eyes looked deeply into hers, searching for sincerity, and when he found it a smile turned up the corner of his lips. And Shay knew she was about to lose her virginity to the amazing boy standing in front of her.

Harry’s lips met with hers and their kissing almost immediately progressed things along. Shay pulled his shirt over his head, connecting their lips again instantaneously.

“You’re so beautiful, Shay,” Harry breathed as he grasped at the hem of her sweater and pulled it up and off.

Harry coaxed Shay onto his bed as he stood in front of her, removing his pants. She pulled off her bra, taking the same initiative Harry was. He smiled down at her before his hands met with the sides of her pajama pants and pulled them down too. She couldn’t believe it was happening – and so fast.

“Harry, Harry…” Shay breathed quietly.

“Yeah?” He asked as he crawled up to her on the bed.

“Can we… can we take this slow?” She stammered, feeling so incredibly inexperienced in the moment.

“Yes. Of course. Of course. We’ll go at whatever speed you want, Shay. Just… just let me know,” he assured her. Shay nodded as she leaned in to meet their lips together.

“Cause this… this is big. This is… it’s _scary_ ,” she told him.

“We don’t have to…” He started.

“Harry, I want to. I really do,” she told him.

“Okay,” he nodded, kissing her quickly.

“Have you… have you done this before?” She asked quietly. She was almost certain she knew the answer – that he had. But she wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah. A couple of times,” he told her honestly, averting his gaze from hers.

“It’s okay. That’s okay. I just… I was curious,” she told him.

“It doesn’t bother you… that we’re… that we’re not losing it together?” He asked.

“No. I mean, it would have been really special, I guess. But, it’s okay. I’m okay,” she told him.

He leaned down kissing her lips again. And they lay there for a while, just kissing and touching – both of them only wearing their underwear. After a while, Shay knew she was ready – she just knew. Her whole body was tingling for him.

“Are you… are you ready?” She asked him.

“Are _you_ ready?” He asked and she nodded her head.

“Okay,” he said, pulling away from her body.

Shay watched as he pulled off his underwear and then came for hers too.

“I love you, Shay,” he said, looking into her eyes.

“I love you too,” she told him sincerely.

Shay watched on as Harry ripped open the condom wrapper and removed it from the packaging. Her heart was in her throat, beating wildly as they were about to cross a line of no return with one another. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as she watched him put the condom on and she could hear the beating of her heart over everything – it was so loud.

“Are you ready?” Harry asked as his eyes met with hers.

“Mm-hmm,” she hummed, swallowing hard.

“Merry Christmas, Shay,” Harry breathed against her lips as he lowered himself on top of her again.

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” Shay said as his lips met with hers.

Seconds later, he pushed inside and Shay couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

There were so many sensations going through her body – she wasn’t sure which one to focus on. At first it felt almost uncomfortable, not being used to anything being inside of her like that. Then the discomfort turned slightly painful as he began to move, but that didn’t last long – _thank god_. And as Harry found his rhythm and Shay’s breathing sped up, she felt a sense of pleasure that began working itself up inside of her. And with that came a sense of joy and happiness.

Shay placed her hands on Harry’s face and kissed his lips sweetly. She was so in love with him.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yes. It is,” she told him honestly.

“Good,” he breathed and continued on.

After a little while, Harry’s breathing got heavier and more ragged, and Shay knew he was coming to his end – she’d given him enough blow job’s to be able to sense it.

“Oh…” He cooed as his breathing hitched.

“Keep going,” she told him breathlessly. And he kept on, until he came.

Shay held him against her body for a while as he came down. She was no longer a virgin and Harry now held onto that part of her. For the rest of their lives, they would share that bond.


	11. Chapter Eleven

“I liked it better when your parents were gone and we could make out in my bedroom all night long,” Shay told Harry as they lay together in his bed.

“Make out… and do other things…” He smirked at her.

“Well… the other things just go along with the making out,” she smirked back at him slyly.

“And what about that _other_ other thing?” He smiled at her, quirking an eyebrow.

“What _other_ other thing are you referring to?” Shay said, giving him a curious smile. She knew exactly what the _other_ other thing in question was.

“My Christmas present,” he elaborated, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

“Ohhh, that _other_ other thing,” she giggled facetiously.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed.

“Well, that was fun while it lasted,” she said, toying with him on purpose.

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked quickly, sitting up slightly, giving her a playful smirk.

“Well, it _was_ a Christmas present. Do you expect it more than once?” She asked, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“Uh…” He stammered, looking at her with wide-eyes, completely speechless. Shay let out a giggle, unable to keep up with the farce.

“You’re a brat,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her.

“I’m kidding. I gave you my virginity for Christmas. The sex… now that’s something different,” Shay giggled.

“Mmm, so now?” He asked, leaning in to nuzzle her with his nose.

“While your parents are home?” She choked out, her eyes falling on his closed door.

“They don’t know you’re in here,” he reminded her.

That was true. Harry snuck her up there purposely so his parents didn’t know she was there.

“That doesn’t mean I’d feel comfortable…” Shay said quietly.

“ _Oh_. Well, we don’t have to,” Harry said and Shay could tell he was disappointed, but was trying to hide it.

“We… how about we just have a really elaborate make-out?” Shay offered, not wanting the night to end without a little fun.

“With the potential for more?” He smirked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s always potential,” Shay giggled as Harry’s hand slipped up into her shirt.

“That’s my girl,” he smiled brightly before his mouth came down to meet with hers.

_His girl_. She wasn’t really his girl, but at the same time she was.

Shay told him she loved him, but he wasn’t her boyfriend. And she wasn’t sure when she’d be ready to be his girlfriend. Because in order to be his girlfriend, they needed to tell people about them and frankly, Shay was having a hard time with that. She knew Harry wanted to be open about them, but she was scared. She was completely scared over how other people knowing about them would affect their relationship. She didn’t want things to change, but she knew everything would change once their parents knew about them – and once Louis knew. And that was the thing Shay was most scared of.

For now, she was content with how things were going. She was content to ignore Harry’s subtle hints of him wanting to be open about their relationship. She was content to ignore everything and everyone just to have Harry all to herself for a little while longer. As long as it wasn’t an immediate issue, she would pretend everything was just fine.

Harry’s body lay below hers as she slowly, torturously moved her body against his, their tongues tangling with one another’s. Their clothing was still on, but Shay could feel every sensation right through the fabric. And with the way Harry was breathing below her and choking back his moans, Shay knew he could feel it too.

“Oh my god, Shay. My god,” he breathed against her collarbone as she kissed her way down his neck.

“Is it too much?” Shay breathed heavily.

“Oh, God,” he moaned as she bucked her hips against him again.

Having had enough of her torturous rhythm, Harry flipped Shay onto her back and wedged himself between her legs.

“Are you sure about the not having sex?” He breathed in her ear.

“ _Mmm_. We’ll see,” Shay teased, smirking up at him.

“I just… I don’t know how long I can take this,” he said, worming his hands up her shirt again.

“I’ve seen your endurance. I’ve witnessed how much you can take,” Shay giggled at his depravity.

“Oh, are you playing games now? Because we can play games, Shay,” he smirked devilishly at her and she laughed out loud.

“You are, aren’t you? You’re trying to break me,” he chuckled, staring down into her eyes.

“No,” she said, shaking her head as she bit her lip, trying to hold back her laughter.

“I think you are,” he eyed her.

“Do you… do you have any condoms?” She found herself asking.

“Mm-hmm,” he hummed. She could tell he was trying to keep a cool exterior while his insides were going crazy. She could see it in his face.

“You do?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” he told her again and she sent him a sneaky smirk.

“Is that a ‘yes’?” He asked, finally letting his excitement show. How could she possibly deny him? He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, which was fitting since they lost their virginity to each other on Christmas.

Shay nodded her head and watched as Harry’s smile grew tenfold.

“You’re funny,” Shay giggled as Harry jumped up off the bed and dashed to his closet.

She watched curiously as he dug in the way back of his closet before coming back to the bed with a condom in his hand.

“Where was that?” Shay giggled amusingly.

“In the pocket of my suit jacket. I never wear it, so it’s the perfect hiding spot,” he explained, smiling proudly.

“Clever,” she giggled as Harry leaned down to kiss her lips just as they heard a knock at his door.

“ _Shit_ ,” Shay gasped quietly as she stared at the closed door.

“It’s locked,” Harry assured her as he too stared at the door.

“Yo, Harry!” Shay heard her brother’s voice as the door knob jiggled.

“That’s fucking Louis,” Shay whispered as she pushed Harry off of her.

“ _Shit_ ,” Harry said under his breath, stashing the condom in his night stand drawer.

“ _Oh god, oh god, oh god_ ,” Shay mumbled as she quickly moved toward the closet to hide while Harry headed to the door.

“Yo,” Harry said, cracking the door open to greet Louis.

This was way too close for Shay’s comfort. She hide herself in the depths of Harry’s closet and hoped to God he could convince Louis to go away.

“Whatcha doing?” Louis asked.

“Uh… nothing. What’s up?” Harry stammered.

“You got a girl in there?” Shay heard Louis ask. And she completely froze. _Christ_. She was sure this was it. This was when Louis would find out she was involved with his best friend.

“Nah, dude,” Harry said, sounding remarkably casual.

“Come on, dude. Who is it?” Shay heard Louis ask. _God dammit, Louis, you persistent bastard_.

“Oh man, you do, don’t you?” Louis chuckled.

“Just get outta here,” Harry told him finally.

“You better tell me all about it, Styles,” Louis told him, menacing laugh echoing through the hallway.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Harry told him. Unless he wanted to hear all about how his best friend was about to have sex with his sister.

“Whatever, dude. I’ll see you around,” Louis laughed. And Shay prayed it was the end of it – that Louis would actually leave.

Moments later, Harry slipped back into the room.

“Shay?” Harry called out.

Shay slipped out of his closet and his eyes found her immediately, letting out a laughed

“What were you doing in there?” He smirked at her.

“Hiding. I got scared,” she told him.

“You’re funny,” he said, grabbing her hand, pulling her to him.

“What if Louis finds out?” She asked quietly once his arms were wrapped safely around her.

“We’ll deal with that when it happens,” Harry said, leaning down to kiss her lips.

“You’re not worried?” Shay asked concerned, looking up in his eyes.

“What would I be worried about?” Harry asked, giving her a questioning look.

“That Louis’ll kick your ass,” she said immediately and Harry laughed out loud.

“Louis knows that I’d never hurt you,” Harry countered confidently.

“But I’m afraid of _him_ hurting _you_ ,” Shay said as worry laced her words.

“I’ll be fine,” he said nonchalantly.

“I don’t want this to ruin your friendship,” Shay said as she frowned.

“Shay, it’ll be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen,” Harry assured her.

“You’re sure?” She asked, looking up into his green eyes.

“I’m sure,” he said with a nod before kissing her lips again.

 

It was New Year’s Eve and Shay was at home… _alone_. Everyone was out. Even her parents were out for the night. Rachel was at some stupid college party that Shay had absolutely no interest in going to. And Louis was out with Harry at some stupid kegger party.

It was her own fault that she was sitting home alone on New Year’s Eve. It was her fault because she insisted that she and Harry kept their relationship a secret. If they’d have just come clean about it a while ago, maybe – just maybe she’d actually get a kiss at midnight inside of lying in bed watching _Ryan Seacrest’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve_ on TV, wishing she had a life.

Harry was off drinking and having fun without her with her stupid brother – who was probably trying to get Harry to hook up with some stupid drunk chick. The thought sent a wave of jealousy through Shay, so she did the best she could to push it out of her mind and remember that they weren’t exclusive. They were seeing each other – but there were no strings attached.

Except there totally were strings. Strings that were connected straight to her heart.

“ _Ugh_ ,” Shay groaned as she lay in bed thinking about what an idiot she was.

She picked up her phone and opened up her text conversation with Harry and started typing.

**_Shay:_ ** _Can we pretend we were each other’s kiss at midnight?_

She stared at it for a while before she willed herself to send it. When she didn’t receive a reply back she knew Harry was most definitely out enjoying himself without her – probably forgetting all about the ‘I love you’s’ they said to one another.

_“Just five short minutes before we ring in the New Year!”_ Ryan Seacrest said through the TV.

Shay rolled over in her bed, away from the brightness of the TV. Maybe she could fall asleep in the next few minutes and she wouldn’t have to think about who Harry was kissing at midnight. If only it were that easy.

“Shay!” She heard a loud whisper. She whipped around quickly in her bed and saw Harry closing her bedroom door behind him.

“Harry!” She whispered loudly, sitting up straight in her bed.

“Hi,” he whispered, smiling widely at her.

“We don’t have to whisper. My parents aren’t home,” she told him as a smile ravaged her face. Harry sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her quickly.

“What are you doing here?” Shay asked, smiling widely at him.

“I wanted to kiss you… at midnight,” he told her, smiling back.

“Harry…” Shay sighed, feeling the incredible sensation of love toward him.

“I was at that party with Louis, and I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he told her.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either,” she told him truthfully.

“Good,” he said with a smile and kissed her again.

_“Here we go!”_ Ryan Seacrest said, standing in the cold New York winter night surrounded by various celebrities.

“Here we go,” Harry said, stealing Seacrest’s words.

“Let’s do this,” Shay said, staring into his eyes through the dimness.

_“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”_ People on the TV chanted.

“Happy New Year, Shay,” Harry said, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Happy New Year, Harry,” she said, smiling ear to ear as his lips met hers – her very first kiss at midnight.

“You know, you kind of taste like beer,” Shay giggled against his lips as he coaxed her onto her back.

“I had a couple,” he said with a shrug.

“I might just have to take advantage of you then,” she giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Please do,” he laughed and kissed her again, sliding his warm hands up her shirt.

Harry’s kisses advanced rapidly and Shay was sure he meant business. They hadn’t fulfilled their attempt at sex the other night because of Louis’s impromptu visit, so Shay was certain Harry wanted to continue from there and she was ready.

“Do you have condoms?” He asked lowly.

“I… I got a whole bunch from the doctor,” she told him.

“You got condoms from the doctor?” Harry asked confused.

“Y-yeah, when I got on birth control. They still insist the use of condoms,” she told him.

“So they just… gave you condoms?” He asked, amused by it.

“A whole bunch,” she said with a nod and a smile.

“That’s fucking awesome,” he chuckled. Harry kissed her hard on the lips and she giggled into the kiss.

“Shay?” They heard, causing Shay to freeze underneath Harry.

“What was that?” She gasped mere seconds before her light turned on and her mother was standing in her doorway.

“SHAYLYNN!” Johannah gasped, staring at her daughter in bed with a boy.

“Oh my god, Mom!” Shay yelped, scrambling away from Harry.

“HARRY!?” Jay gasped once she saw his face.

“What is going on?” She asked looking at them wide-eyed.

“Oh my god,” Shay said, holding her hand over her face, completely mortified.

“Uh…” Harry stammered.

“Are you two… what are you two doing?” She asked quickly.

“Mom, can you just… can you go away, please?” Shay said, wishing she would just disappear.

“Uh, Shay…” She started, her hands planted firmly on her hips and Shay knew she meant business.

“PLEASE!” Shay screeched.

“I am keeping this door open and the light on,” Jay said firmly.

“FINE,” Shay growled and watched as she slipped out of the room.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed lowly, holding her hands over her face.

“I guess… I guess the cats out of the bag,” Harry said, trying to break the tension.

“Oh my god,” Shay said as she shook her head, feeling extremely uneasy.

“At least she caught us now as opposed to ten minutes from now,” Harry told her.

“Oh. My. God,” Shay said dramatically, looking at him with wide-eyes.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Harry asked her with a smirk on his lips.

“I don’t know what to say. My mom just caught us, Harry,” she said, stating the obvious.

“I’m aware,” he said sarcastically.

“Oh, this sucks,” Shay breathed, running her fingers through her hair.

“Is it really that bad, Shay?” Harry countered.

“What do you mean? My mother just caught us making out in my bed, Harry,” Shay snapped at him.

“Yeah, and we knew people would find out eventually,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yeah, _eventually_ ,” she snapped.

“When did you think it was going to happen? Sneaking around was bound to get us caught,” he told her, sounding slightly annoyed.

“ _Uhh_ ,” Shay groaned under her breath.

“It’s not that bad. Maybe she won’t tell Louis,” Harry offered.

“No, she’s going to make _me_ tell Louis,” Shay said, swallowing back the fear.

“We can tell him together, Shay,” Harry said, gripping her hand in his.

“Yeah,” she breathed softly as her worried eyes looked up into his confident ones.

“Maybe I should go,” Harry said after a moment of silence.

“Yeah. I’m thinking mom is counting on that,” Shay told him.

Shay walked him to the door, completely dreading being alone with her mother. She gave Harry a quick kiss before seeing him off and then ran as fast as she could up the stairs to get back to her bedroom, but of course her mother was waiting for her at the end of the hallway.

“What was that, Shaylynn?” She asked confronting her immediately.

“Oh my god,” Shay said, making a beeline for her bedroom. Jay followed her in, determined to talk it out.

“I’d like to know what’s going on,” she said, standing with her arms crossed over her chest in the doorway.

“We like each other,” Shay admitted, unable to even look her mother in the eye.

“I’d hope so, after what I just saw,” Jay said, letting out a chuckle.

“Don’t,” Shay warned her, not ready to make light of the situation.

“Don’t, what?” Jay asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t laugh about it,” Shay snapped defensively.

“Honey, I’m not laughing about it,” Jay cooed.

Shay crawled up in her bed and switched off the TV with the remote as her mother stared at her.

“How long has this been going on?” Jay asked, making Shay even more uncomfortable.

Shay finally met her eyes and just stared at her like an angsty teenager.

“How long, Shay?” Jay asked more sternly.

“A while,” she admitted quietly.

“Oh,” Jay nodded, looking surprised and Shay rolled her eyes at her mother’s reaction.

“How long is a while?” Jay asked carefully and Shay cringed because she knew that question would be asked.

“September,” Shay confessed, her eyes dropping down to the blanket on her bed.

“Wow,” Jay said, sounding surprised. Shay shifted uncomfortably in the bed, wishing Harry had never come over that night.

“Does Louis know?” Jay asked, causing Shay’s blood to boil.

“No!” She snapped.

“Ohh-kay. Jeez. I was just asking,” her mother said defensively.

Shay’s jaw clenched as she shook her head, hating that they were having this conversation.

“So… so all that sex talk… it was because of him?” Jay asked, looking like she might faint.

“Mom…” Shay groaned, feeling as though she might puke.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Jay asked again.

Shay set her jaw again and just stared at the wall, hoping and praying that if she didn’t answer her mother would just get the hint and leave.

“Are you having sex with him, Shay?” Johannah asked cautiously.

“Oh my god,” Shay breathed under her breath.

“Are you?” Jay asked.

Shay let out a large huffed to let her mother know she was incredibly annoyed. She wished she was anywhere, just about anywhere else instead of having this conversation. The only thing that would be worse, would be having this conversation with her father.

“You can tell me, Shay,” Jay said softly, walking deeper into her room toward the bed.

“Mom…” Shay said, shaking her head, trying to fight off the tears that were threatening.

“I want you to feel comfortable talking to me, Shay,” she said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Shay hesitated for a few moments. Was this a trap? Was she going to use this information against her in the future? When Shay looked up and saw the concern written all over her mother’s face, she knew she was sincere. She knew she just wanted to be there for her daughter.

“Just once,” Shay finally admitted.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jay said, letting out a jagged breath.

When Shay’s eyes shot up to look into hers she tried to redeem herself.

“Okay,” she said, sounding more optimistic, more open.

“How did this happen? Not the sex. I mean, just with Harry in general,” she asked curiously.

“We… I don’t know. One night he just… he kissed me,” Shay said with a shrug. What else was there to say?

“Did you like each other before?” She asked.

“I don’t know. He’s Harry, Mom. He’s always just been Harry,” Shay said, unable to find the words to explain it.

“And what makes him not just Harry now?” She asked.

“He loves me,” Shay admitted.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jay said again, surprised.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Shay scoffed, finding offense in her reaction.

“No, baby. I do. I understand,” Jay said, patting her leg.

“He’s just… he’s different. I really like him,” Shay told her.

“Do you… do you love him?” She asked. Shay stared at her for a moment before she nodded her head.

“Wow,” Jay said evenly.

“I know I’m only sixteen and you’re probably thinking I’m naïve. But at least I know him. I truly know him and I’ve known him for years. You said it yourself—that I should give him a chance,” Shay pointed out.

“Shay, I do not think you’re naïve,” Jay said, shaking her head.

“I just really like him,” Shay told her.

“I’m glad,” Jay said, smiling sweetly at her. Shay felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. Her mother knew her biggest secret and it was freeing.

“But honey, you can’t keep hiding this from your brother. Harry is his best friend,” Jay said, bursting her little bubble, bringing up the very thing she didn’t want to deal with.

“I’m scared, Mom,” Shay admitted quietly.

“Of what?” She asked.

“Of what Louis’ gonna do. He’s not going to like this at all,” Shay said, shaking her head, fighting the tears again.

“Why not?” Jay asked, her eyebrows furrowed in question.

“Because I’m his sister and Harry’s his best friend!” Shay said, feeling aggravated.

“I think you need to give your brother a little more credit, Shay,” Jay said, quirking her eyebrow.

“Mom, he’s going to freak out!” Shay said incredulously.

“He may be a little taken aback at first, but I think he’ll come around,” Jay tried to assure her.

“I just… I don’t want him to hate Harry,” Shay said quietly.

“Those two are joined at the hip, Shay. And have been since they were little. I don’t think anything can break their friendship,” she said, not seeming worried at all.

“I don’t know,” Shay said uneasily.

“I think you need to tell Louis, Sweetie,” she coaxed.

“God…” Shay groaned, feeling the nerves in the pit of her stomach.

“It won’t be that bad,” Jay said, giving her daughter a reassuring smile.

“I’m not so sure,” Shay mumbled, hating her predicament completely.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Harry came over to the Tomlinson house after school on their first day back from winter break. Except he wasn’t with Shay, he was with Louis. And it made Shay so incredibly jealous. She tried to stifle it, but she couldn’t deny it. She was jealous that Harry was spending time with her brother instead of her. But deep down she knew she understood. He had to keep up appearances and Louis was still his best friend.

Shay was lying in bed, bored out of her mind, so she decided to text Harry just to let him know she was thinking about him.

**_Shay:_ ** _I wish you were in my bed kissing me instead of hanging out with Louis._

She didn’t get a response which was even more frustrating. She really needed to find something to do to keep her mind occupied. As she pulled out her text book to start her homework, she heard Louis bellow her name down the hallway.

“ _Ugh_ ,” Shay groaned as she rolled herself off of her bed and lazily walked to the door.

“What?” She shouted as she ripped her bedroom door open.

Standing in front of her was her brother holding Harry’s phone in his hand. Shay swallowed back the fear that was building up inside of her at what it meant.

“What in the fuck…” Louis choked out just as the bathroom door swung open and Harry emerged, looking at the two of them confused.

“My phone…” Harry said, focusing on the device in Louis’ hand.

“Are you fucking—” Louis choked out, unable to finish his sentence as he looked at his best friend.

“Are you fucking around with my sister?” Louis asked Harry with a little more power in his voice. Harry’s eyes cut to Shay as he swallowed hard.

“You _are_ , aren’t you?” Louis said, pushing Harry hard against the chest.

“Louis!” Shay screamed at him.

“Listen, Louis…” Harry started.

“You’re fucking around with my sister!” Louis yelled, pushing Harry again.

“Stop it, Louis!” Shay screamed, worming her way between the two of them before Louis was able to start throwing punches.

“We were going to tell you…” Harry said quietly.

“When!? After you knock her up!?” Louis growled at his best friend, trying to shove him again, but Shay pushed him away instead.

“Louis, fucking stop it!” She screamed in his face.

“I can’t fucking believe you! Either of you! He’s like your brother! And she’s your fucking sister!” Louis yelled at them.

“But she’s not,” Harry said quietly.

“Fuck you, man! You’re fucking disgusting!” Louis yelled, pointing his finger wildly in Harry’s direction.

“What’s so bad about it, Louis? You know I’m not going to hurt her! You know I’ll protect her, just like you would!” Harry yelled at him.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Louis yelled back at him, unable to listen to reason.

“No, Louis! This is stupid!” Shay snapped, staring down her brother.

“You’re right, Shay. This is stupid. You’re both fucking stupid!” Louis yelled.

“Stop it,” Shay said, shaking her head.

“How long has this been going on?” Louis asked, his fiery eyes looking between the two of them. Shay bit her lip and Harry hung his head.

“ _How long?”_ Louis growled.

“Since September,” Shay said quietly.

“Oh my fucking— _Oh my fucking god_. You’re disgusting,” Louis yelled at Harry again.

“Louis, you’re being a fucking idiot right now,” Shay yelled, getting extremely annoyed with him.

“ _You!_ You were the girl! She was the girl in your bedroom! You were fucking around with my sister in your bedroom when I showed up there that day!” Louis said, putting two and two together.

_Oh, shit._

“Louis…” Harry said quietly.

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Louis yelled at him.

“No. Come on, Harry,” Shay said, grabbing Harry’s hand pulling him with her toward her room.

“Fuck no,” Louis said, putting his hand on Harry’s chest to stop him.

“Get your god damn hands off him, Louis,” Shay growled at him, pushing his hand forcefully off of Harry’s chest.

She pulled Harry with her to her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

“Oh, God,” Shay groaned, running her hands through her hair as she began pacing her floor.

“ _Jesus_. I didn’t think… I didn’t think he’d react like that,” Harry said, looking absolutely freaked out.

“I knew he would. Why do you think I wanted us to keep this a secret?” Shay said, feeling the emotion hitting her hard.

“What… what set him off?” Harry asked, looking confused.

“I-I sent you a text. But apparently you were in the bathroom and Louis saw it,” Shay admitted, swallowing hard.

“What did it say?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know. That I wished you were in my bed kissing me instead of hanging out with Louis,” Shay told him.

“ _God_ ,” Harry said under his breath.

“This is bad. This is really bad,” Shay said, pacing her floor again.

“Mom!” They both heard Louis bellow and they knew Johannah was home from work. Luckily their mother already knew about Shay and Harry. It was one less thing to worry about.

Shay waited silently for Louis and their mother to come bombarding into her room. It was inevitable.

Several minutes later there was a delicate knock on the door and Shay knew it was her mother and not her hothead of a brother. Still, Shay pulled the bedroom door open carefully, just in case.

“Hi,” Jay said with a careful smile.

When Shay pulled the door open all the way, she noticed Louis standing against the wall in the hallway – ironically it was the same wall Harry kissed her against that first time.

“Hi, Harry,” Jay said, and Shay turned to see Harry sitting on her bed giving her mother a silent wave of his hand.

“Uh, maybe it would be better if you headed on home so I can talk to Louis and Shay about all of this,” She told him.

“No, Mom. He’s staying,” Shay said firmly.

“No, he’s not,” Louis grumbled.

“Shut up, dick!” Shay yelled at Louis.

“You shut up, you slut,” Louis shot at her.

“ _Louis William Tomlinson_ , if I ever hear you call your sister or any other girl that again in your life, it will be the last thing you do! Do you hear me?” Johannah barked at him.

“Yes,” he said sheepishly, angrily tightening his arms around himself.

Jay’s attention fell back to Shay as she regained her calm after yelling at Louis.

“Shay, it’s okay. Harry will be invited back. Harry, you’re still welcome in this house,” Jay said reassuringly.

Louis scoff under his breath and Shay knew he was holding back his vile thoughts to escape another lashing out from Jay.

“Louis will have to _deal_ with it,” Jay said, turning her head to her eldest child, who stood there brooding.

“It’s okay. I should go,” Harry said quietly as he stood up from Shay’s bed.

“Harry, I don’t… I don’t want you to,” Shay said, feeling the emotion rising in her chest.

“I should, Shay,” he said, barely meeting his eyes with hers.

“Harry…” She breathed, reaching out for him.

He quickly kissed her cheek as he made his way past Jay and out into the hallway.

“Give me back my phone,” Harry said, stopping in front of Louis, holding out his hand. Louis glared at Harry intensely.

“Louis, give him back his phone!” Jay insisted. Louis pulled it out of his back pocket and practically threw it at him.

“Don’t come back,” he spat at Harry.

“Louis!” Shay screeched.

“Louis, stop it right now,” Jay shot at him as Harry shook his head and made his way down the stairs.

None of them spoke until they were sure Harry left.

“She’s having sex with him, Mom!” Louis yelled first.

“How do you even know that!?” Shay yelled back at him.

“Well, I fucking do now, don’t I?” Louis shot at her with the thickest glare she’d ever seen.

“Watch your mouth, Louis,” Jay growled.

“Your sixteen year old daughter is having sex and you’re not going to do anything about it!?” Louis yelled back at her.

“I’ve already taken care of it, Louis,” she told him.

“You knew!? You knew about her and Harry!?” Louis asked as his eyes flared with anger.

“I found out recently,” Jay said, nodding calmly.

“ _Oh my god_ ,” Louis growled.

“Louis, it’s none of your business!” Shay yelled, feeling so annoyed that he was ruining everything.

“He’s _my_ best friend! There are a hundreds other guys at our school that you could date, but you had to choose _my_ best friend!” Louis yelled at her.

“Boo-fricken’-hoo!” Shay yelled, taunting him, completely sick of his attitude altogether.

“You’re a bitch!” He yelled, not caring that their mother was standing right there.

“ _I swear to god!”_ Johannah growled, throwing her hands up.

“I’m a bitch because I fell in love!? God, you should be happy for me!” Shay scoffed.

“Love!? How disgusting! He’s practically your brother, Shay!” Louis yelled.

“He’s _not_ my brother, Louis!” Shay screamed, so annoyed with him referencing Harry like that.

“Stop it! Now! Louis, you go to your room. Shay, you go to your room! I don’t want to see you for the rest of the damn night!” Jay yelled, completely fed up with the both of them.

“This is absolute _bullshit!”_ Louis grumbled as he stomped off down the hall and slammed his bedroom door.

Shay broke down into sobs and Jay wrapped her arms around her to console her.

“This is why I never wanted him to find out,” Shay cried.

“It would have never worked out with Harry if your brother didn’t know,” Jay assured her.

“But is it going to work out now that he does know?” Shay cried.

“We’ll see, baby. Your brother will calm down. He’ll get over it. And you and Harry can make it work,” she said confidently. Shay wanted to believe her words. She wanted to believe them so badly.

After the third day of Louis’s hostile attitude toward both Shay and Harry, she wasn’t so sure of it.

“What’s Harry been up to lately? I haven’t seen him around here much lately,” their father asked at dinner on the third day of the feud, completely oblivious to everything.

Shay’s whole body tensed up as her eyes shot to Louis. Louis’ glared eyes stared into hers and she just knew he was about to inform their father of her and Harry’s relationship.

“Harry and I aren’t friends anymore,” Louis said through a clenched jaw, still staring Shay down with a look of contempt in his eyes.

Shay’s own eyes softened, feeling the guilt wash over her. It was what she feared all along – Louis and Harry’s broken friendship.

“What? That’s absurd. What happened?” Mark asked, looking at Louis for an answer. But Louis’ eyes never left Shay.

“Harry’s been having _sex_ with your daughter,” Louis said maliciously, watching as Shay’s jaw dropped before he turned to see their father’s reaction.

“Louis!” Jay shouted.

Mark’s head snapped immediately toward Shay as her face heated up and she felt like throwing up.

“ _What?”_ Mark’s voice boomed.

“Mark,” Jay said in a calming voice.

“Shaylynn Johannah Tomlinson, is that true!?” Her father growled at her.

Shay sunk lower in her chair feeling the wrath of her father slowly encroaching on her.

“Mark,” Jay said again.

“Shay!” Her father shouted.

“What do you want me to say!?” Shay shouted back as tears formed in her eyes and the emotion made her voice crack.

“Is it true!?” He growled. Shay’s hands came up to cover her face as her tears erupted full force.

“Answer me!” He shouted.

“ _Mark_ ,” Jay said once again, more forceful this time.

“Yes! Yes, okay! God!” Shay screamed as she threw her hands down to her sides, gripping them into fists.

Mark took in a sudden intake of breath as his face contorted into a look of anger.

“I fucking hate you, Louis!” Shay screamed as she got up from the table to run to her room.

“Get back here, young lady!” Mark’s voice reverberated off of the walls in the dining room and Shay froze immediately.

“Mark, stop it right now!” Jay yelled.

“Did you know about this!?” Mark yelled at his wife.

“Mark,” Jay sighed quietly.

“You knew about this and you didn’t tell me!?” He yelled at her.

“Stop it! I told her not to! I didn’t want you to know! I didn’t want either of you to know, because you would ruin it!” Shay yelled at her father and Louis.

“Ruin it!? You ruined _our_ friendship!” Louis yelled at her.

“No, your ignorance ruined your friendship!” Shay yelled at him.

“Stop, now!” Jay shouted.

“This is bullshit. Louis has sex and _no one_ cared, but the moment you find out I had sex – _once_ , by the way – you’re ready to condemn both me and Harry!” Shay cried.

Both their father and Louis looked at her with blank stares on their faces.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” Shay cried, her face falling into her hands.

“ _Shay_ ,” Mark said a moment later, his voice coming out sympathetic and surprisingly calmer than before.

Shay looked up to see her father looking at her with what she could only describe as pity in his eyes and it sent a streak of fire through her body.

“Louis, you need to grow up! Harry has been your best friend since you were kids! How can you let this ruin that? Harry has never hurt me and isn’t going to hurt me. He didn’t pressure me into this. If anything, I pressured him. I’m just… I’m sick of this!” Shay yelled, directing her anger at her brother. Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes indifferently at her.

“Fine! You didn’t deserve Harry as a friend anyway!” Shay yelled at him before she finally worked up the nerve to storm out of the room.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Trying to find time with Harry over the next couple of days was extremely hard. Louis was making it almost impossible for Harry to apologize for not telling him when their relationship first started. Louis was completely cutting Harry out and was even trying to get their friends to cut him out too. If family meant anything to Louis, he wouldn’t be acting so headstrong about something that made his sister truly happy.

The only time Shay and Harry really had time to see each other during that week was at school and Shay truly hated that they couldn’t be together. It was exactly what she’d been dreading.

“How are things with Harry?” Jay asked that Friday night.

Shay was helping her mother clean up after a very silent, awkward dinner with the family. Family dinner’s now consisted of Shay and Louis ignoring each other, and Shay ignoring her father. It ended up just being their mother trying to make conversation with her brooding family. And even then, their answers came out in one word form along with their anger.

“Uh, not like it used to be,” Shay said awkwardly.

“Why? How come?” Jay asked, looking concerned for her daughter.

“Are you kidding?” Shay asked incredulously, giving her mother a look of contempt.

“Well, I know because your brother had a mental breakdown over it. But, what’s wrong? Is Harry upset?” Jay asked.

“Of course he’s upset, Mom. His best friend just cut him out of his life. I’d be upset too,” Shay said, feeling so annoyed. How did she expect him to feel?

“Shay. Of course I know he’s upset over Louis, but is everything okay between the two of you?” She asked.

“We don’t get to see each other, if that’s what you’re asking,” Shay told her, feeling a sting in her heart.

“Not even at school?” She asked.

“Well, yeah at school. But it’s… it’s different. We’re different at school,” Shay said with a shrug.

“Do you talk on the phone?” Jay asked.

“Yeah,” Shay said quietly, wiping off the kitchen table with a damp wash cloth.

“Well, soon everything will blow over and maybe you and Harry can spend more time together once Louis has a chance to calm down,” she said optimistically.

“Yeah,” Shay mumbled, feeling a wave of melancholy wash over her.

As Shay walked back into the kitchen with the wash cloth, her phone began buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out to see Harry’s number lighting up her screen.

“Harry. Hi,” she said as a smile plastered across her face. Jay looked over at her and smiled.

“Hi,” Harry said softly.

“H-how are you?” Shay asked, feeling a bit awkward. She felt so distant from Harry as of late.

“Good. I was just… I was wondering if maybe you could come out and see me,” he asked quietly.

“Come out and see you?” Shay asked, looking up at her mother from across the kitchen.

“Yeah. I… maybe go to our spot?” He asked. A sneaky smile spread across Shay’s face.

“Let me ask quick,” Shay said, hoping her mother would have enough sympathy for her to let her go.

“Okay,” he said before Shay placed her hand over the receiver of the phone.

“Can I go out with Harry? He… he wants to see me,” Shay told her, feeling absolutely elated that she would get to spend time with him outside of school.

“What are you going to do?” She asked, eyeing Shay skeptically.

“Hang out,” Shay said as her smiled dropped off her face. Of course she was going to ask questions. It was so annoying.

“Where are you going to go?” Jay asked.

“I don’t know. His house,” Shay said with a shrug of her shoulders. Jay stood there contemplating it, leaving Shay impatiently waiting, biting at her lip.

“Seriously, Mom. Weren’t you just saying how it was all going to work out? Just, _please_ ,” Shay begged.

“Fine. But I want you home before midnight,” she told her only daughter.

“Thank you!” Shay said quickly, kissing her mother’s cheek before she raced up the stairs to her room.

“I can come out,” Shay told Harry once she’d shut her bedroom door.

“I’m outside,” he told her.

“Okay. Just… just give me a few minutes,” she told him.

“Okay,” he said and they hung up.

Shay raced around her room freshening up, feeling the most excitement she’d felt all week. Right before she left her room, she grabbed a condom from her paper bag stash and put it in her purse. All she’d been thinking about besides this whole mess was how badly she wished their last two failed attempts at sex had succeeded. She missed his closeness and she wanted it badly. She didn’t care that it was winter and it was nearly freezing outside. Their body heat would keep them warm, she was sure of it.

Shay threw on her jacket and raced out the door, slowing down only because the sidewalk was icy and she didn’t want to fall on her ass in front of Harry. She jumped into Harry’s warm car and immediately kissed him hard on the mouth.

“I missed you. I’ve been missing you,” she told him, with an excited smile on her face.

“I’ve missed you too, Shay,” he said, but his smile didn’t nearly mirror hers.

The two of them sat in silence as Coldplay played through the speakers as he drove them to their spot. Once he parked, she couldn’t help but kiss him. She just missed him so much. She missed being with him. She missed their spot.

“God, I love being back here with you,” Shay said, smiling contently at him as she held the sides of his face in her hands.

“Back here with me? How many other guys have you been here with?” He smirked at her and she felt the warmth in his smile.

“Harry…” She whined playfully and he let out a laugh.

“I-I’ve been thinking how badly I missed _everything_ ,” Shay told him as her hands came down, gently grasping onto the front of his jacket.

“ _Hmm_ ,” he hummed, looking out the windshield, then back at her.

“I miss being close with you. It’s something I took for granted. I just… I want to feel that way again. I want to feel your body…” Shay said, cutting herself off, realizing how forward she sounded. But then she realized she didn’t care because she loved Harry and she missed him and nothing should stop her from telling him how she felt.

“Shay…” Harry breathed quietly, his eyes looking away from hers again. She couldn’t help but notice how distant he seemed to feel.

“Louis might be mad, Harry, but he’s going to get over it and I think we need to get over it too. I think we just need to continue because we love each other. I love you, Harry,” Shay said, pulling him to her by his jacket as she kissed him again.

“Shay…” He breathed against her lips.

“What?” She asked, pulling back to look into his eyes.

“I just… I’m… this is all…” He said, speaking in fragmented sentences.

“This is all what?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowing in question.

“Louis… he’s my best friend,” Harry breathed.

“I know. And he’ll get over this, Harry. He’s going to realize it’s a good thing that you’re with me. He’s going to calm down,” Shay said, trying to reassure him.

“I just… I just think that maybe…” Harry said, cutting himself off. Shay’s heart began beating faster as she watched the anxiousness on Harry’s face.

“Harry, it will be okay,” she breathed in a whisper as her brain started to realize why Harry was hesitating.

“Maybe we should just…” He stammered, looking down at his hands.

“Harry…” Shay breathed, her heart squeezing tightly

“I think we should give Louis some time,” he said, finally looking up into her eyes again.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m cool with that. Maybe we can just keep it a secret again,” Shay said, trying to spin the situation positively because she didn’t want to acknowledge the distress in his voice.

“Shay, this is just all too much. I’ve been friends with Louis for ten years. _Ten years_. He’s my brother, Shay,” Harry told her.

“I know,” she said quietly as a lump formed in her throat. She knew in her heart that Harry was trying to find a way to let her down easily.

“I think we should… take a break,” he said uncomfortably. Shay shook her head lightly as she felt tears well in her eyes. She was glad it was dark in the car because she didn’t want him to see her distress.

“Louis will come around,” she whispered, trying to mask the emotion in her voice.

“But what if he doesn’t?” Harry asked.

“He will,” Shay said firmly.

“Shay, I can’t… Louis is…” Harry started.

“Your best friend. I know! God!” She growled.

“Shay…” Harry said quietly.

“Take me home, Harry,” she said through clenched teeth as the anger bubbled up inside of her.

She wanted to go home so she could murder her brother with her bare hands. He was ruining _everything_.

“Shay…” Harry said again, his tone pleading.

“You don’t want to be with me, fine. Take me home,” Shay said, trying to keep her voice level.

“Shay, I’m just saying for right now. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, because I do. We just shouldn’t… not when things are like this,” Harry explained and Shay let out a scoff.

Harry was so worried about Louis’ feelings, but what about her feelings? What about his own feelings? He was going to sacrifice what they had for Louis, when they both knew for certain that Louis would eventually come around. It was typical Louis. He always acted like a hot-head, but after a while he always came around, he always admitted fault when he did something wrong. And the way he acted about her and Harry was incredibly wrong.

“Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be,” Harry told her.

“What the hell does that even mean, Harry? You don’t want me to be upset? Did Louis monopolize all the anger in this situation? Am I supposed to be happy that you don’t want to be with me?” Shay questioned rapidly, letting her frustration out.

“I _want_ to be with you, Shay! I just… I just can’t right now,” Harry said, getting frustrated himself.

“Take me home,” Shay told him again.

“God, Shay!” Harry scoffed.

“Just please, Harry. You said you didn’t want to hurt me. Well, I don’t want you to see me hurting, okay. Just take me home!” She growled.

“Shay, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m not,” he said as emotion filled his words.

“Just please, Harry,” she croaked as her tears began falling down her face.

“I’m so sorry, Shay,” Harry said softly.

She put her hand over her eyes and leaned her head against the window as she let the tears fall freely. Harry sat silently for a few moments before putting the car in drive and doing what she asked – taking her home.

“Shay, I’m sorry,” Harry said once he pulled up in the driveway at her house.

“Yeah, me too,” she said before she pushed open the door and got out.

Her tears were streaming down her face, turning cold from the night air as she walked carefully back up the front walk. She didn’t look back as she pushed open the front door and slammed it shut.

“ _God_ ,” Shay sobbed as she pressed her back against the door, feeling the harrowing pain she was left with.

“Shay?” She heard her mother’s voice seconds before she came around the corner.

“Shay, are you alright?” She asked as concern washed over her features.

“He doesn’t want to be with me anymore,” Shay cried as she noticed Louis’ head peek around the corner to see what the commotion was.

“BECAUSE OF YOU!” Shay yelled, pointing her finger at him.

“Me?” Louis scoffed.

“You just _had_ to be a dick! You couldn’t just let it go!” Shay screamed at him.

“Shay,” Johannah said in her calming tone of voice.

“He said he couldn’t see me anymore because of you! Because you’re supposed to be his best friend. Some shitty friend you are! He’s happy, Louis! I made him happy. And he made _me_ happy! But you’re so selfish that you don’t care!” Shay screamed at him.

Louis stood there with his narrowed eyes and clenched jaw, not giving a damn about anyone but himself.

“Well screw you, Louis! SCREW YOU!” Shay snapped, pushing him as hard as she could before she ran up the stairs to her bedroom.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

For the next two days, Shay stayed holed up in her room, tucked between her blankets, letting only her mother into her room – not that Louis or her father would even want to try to come in. Louis was probably overjoyed because Harry broke up with her. And knowing her father, he was probably satisfied because it meant that she wouldn’t be having anymore sex.

Shay’s tears only subsided for sleep that first night. Saturday morning, she was barren – completely dried up. A pain wrapped around the inside of her skull from the hours of crying the night before and she just lay there paralyzed in her bed, staring up at the ceiling wondering why it had come to this. It couldn’t be real. Maybe she just dreamt it. But her puffy eyes, clogged sinuses, and the ache in her head and chest told her differently. All proof that Harry did in fact break her heart last night, whether he meant to or not.

How could this be happening? They loved each other. Love was supposed to conquer all. Suddenly Shay found herself cursing all those stupid, sappy love movies that always ended in happiness. That almost never happened in real life. _Romeo’s_ and _Prince Charming’s_ didn’t exist. It was all just a fabrication of Hollywood to make the hollowness of reality a little less painful. But in fact it just made it _more_ painful, because in real life nobody got their happy ending. And if in some freak occurrence that one does get their happy ending, there was always someone out there willing to ruin it. In Shay’s happy ending, she had Louis making the _happy_ part of the ending non-existent.

How could they let Louis dictate whether or not they should be together? Shay felt a sense of anger crash over her in waves. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. She wanted to punch and kick and claw at anything and everything. And she let imaginary images of her clawing at Louis’ face calm her down. When she realized that plotting her brother’s death probably wasn’t the best plan, she buried her head in the pillow and tried like hell to will herself back to sleep.

Johannah woke her up to eat a little while later. She hadn’t eaten all day. She refused to leave her room, so her mother brought her a bowl of soup.

“You need to eat, Shay. Don’t do this to yourself,” she said, looking at her sympathetically.

“Do this to myself? I did not do this to myself. Louis did this to me,” Shay shot at her.

“Louis and Harry,” she said quietly.

“ _Louis_ did this, mom. Harry only broke up with me because of Louis. He told me he still wanted to be with me but couldn’t because of Louis,” Shay corrected her angrily.

“Louis feels really bad,” Jay told her.

“I don’t care how Louis feels. He _should_ feel bad. He ruined everything,” Shay spat out.

“Shay…” Her mother sighed, her eyes looking pained that her children were fighting.

“No. Do not defend him. He knows what he’s doing is wrong,” Shay growled as she shook her head.

“Keeping it from him was kind of wrong too. Harry was his friend first,” Jay countered, defending Louis anyway.

“How was it wrong? Why can’t Harry and I have a private life?” Shay yelped as the anger boiled up inside of her.

“There’s a difference between having a private life and lying to everyone that is in your life,” Jay reminded her, making Shay even angrier.

“Just… just leave me alone if all you’re going to do is make me feel worse! The bottom line is I had Harry and now I don’t – and it’s all Louis’s fault,” Shay snapped, narrowing her eyes at her mother.

“I understand that your anger is making it hard to see reason right now, but if you continue to take that tone with me...” Johanna said as calmly as ever, but in that warning tone that all mother’s seemed to have.

“Punish me then. Nothing can make me feel worse than I already do,” Shay snapped, throwing herself back onto her bed.

“Bring your dishes down to the kitchen when you’re done,” Jay told her firmly and walked out of the room without another word.

Shay ate the soup, but left the dishes sit atop her nightstand as she quickly tried to find refuge in the dream world once again. She slept until dinner when her mother asked her in her nicest tone to come down for dinner. Shay refused. She refused to even look at Louis let alone spend a whole family meal in his presence.

On Sunday morning, Shay couldn’t be bothered to get up for church. Her father even sternly told her to get out of bed and get dressed or he would make her do it. He never did and her family left without her. She didn’t care how despondent she was being. She didn’t care much of anything. That morning she cried again thinking about Harry. Once her tears started it almost felt like they were never going to end. She just wanted him back. She promised God that if he sent Harry back to her that she would do anything just so she could have him back with her. _Anything_. And then when she realized that it wasn’t that easy, she cried some more. Feeling defeated and worthless, Shay closed her eyes tightly and wait for sleep once again.

Jay periodically brought Shay food and checked in on her, but by dinner time she wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer when Shay refused once again to come down to join the family. Jay physically pulled her by the arm down to the dinner table. Shay could have fought kicking and screaming, but knew that with behavior like that it would have been proof that she wasn’t grown-up enough to be in a relationship with Harry in the first place. Plus, she just didn’t have the energy to fight anymore.

Shay sat in her seat across from her brother, picking at the spaghetti her mother made. Spaghetti was one of her favorite meals, but for whatever reason, she could not stomach it.

She felt Louis’ eyes burning through her from across the table and looked up to find just that.

“Stop. Staring. At. Me,” Shay growled out slowly.

“I’m not,” he snapped, deterring his eyes.

“Don’t look at me. Don’t talk to me—” Shay started.

“Shaylynn Johannah – that is enough,” Mark said sharply.

Shay closed her lips tightly glaring into Louis’ eyes. She just really hated him for what he did, for what he was currently doing.

After dinner, Jay insisted that Shay help clear the table and she did so without a word, figuring it was fruitless to argue.

“Load the dishwasher and you can go back up to your _cave_ ,” Jay told her. Shay didn’t find her remark very funny, but she kept her mouth shut and did what was asked. Better to just do it and get it over with than to waste the energy on an argument that she would lose in the end.

As she loaded the dishwasher, Louis came in the kitchen carrying the salt and pepper shakers from the table.

“Shay, I know you’re hurting…” He started and her jaw immediately clenched at his words, feeling infuriated that he was even speaking to her, even acknowledging her.

“But just imagine how I felt when I found out, how I still feel. I feel betrayed by my best friend and my own sister,” Louis continued, twisting the knife in her back.

“Fuck you,” Shay growled.

“Shay…” He sighed.

“You don’t give a shit about me or Harry. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be acting the way you are,” she spat at him.

“You’re stealing my best friend!” He yelled back at her.

“I AM NOT! Just because we like each other doesn’t mean he’s not going to still hang out with you. Even though I don’t know _why_ he would still want to hang out with you after _your_ betrayal,” Shay said angrily.

“My betrayal!?” He laughed a menacing laugh.

“Yes! You betrayed him when you turned your back on him! You betrayed him when you tried to get your other friends to turn on him too. You’ve been friends for ten years and you can’t just get past this?” Shay said, feeling herself get choked up.

“YOU’RE SLEEPING WITH MY BEST FRIEND! MY BEST FRIEND IS SLEEPING WITH MY SISTER!” He shouted.

“Not anymore. You saw to that, didn’t you?” She shot at him.

“I didn’t say _anything_ to him,” Louis yelled back.

“That’s the point, Louis! You’re not saying _anything_ to him. You’re supposed to be his friend. He wants his friend back!” Shay screamed at him, but all Louis did was shake his head stubbornly, which entirely pissed Shay off because if Louis wasn’t going to bother with fixing their friendship, then it was pointless for Harry to even break things off with her in the first place.

But knowing what kind of person Harry was, Shay knew he was going to try as hard and as long as it took to make things right with his best friend. It was just too bad her brother wasn’t going to put forth the same effort.

“Why did you even come in here to talk to me? I don’t even want to look at you!” Shay said, slamming the dishwasher shut, grateful that she just put the last dish in.

“You’re so stubborn!” Louis growled.

“So are you, you asshole!” Shay screamed at him before she took off to her bedroom.

 

On Monday morning, Shay tried to convince her mother to let her stay home from school, but she absolutely refused. Shay was so angry when she had to get up and get ready, but she was also sick to her stomach over the fact that she had to go anywhere that Harry would be. A week passed since Louis found out about her and Harry. A week where nothing was as it used to be. A week where nothing but misery and heartache consumed Shay every second of the day.

She walked to school by herself, braving the below zero temperatures just so she wouldn’t have to get a ride from Louis. Walking through the doors, a ripple of terror went through her realizing that Harry could be lurking anywhere. That he could, without a moment’s notice, show up in front of her and leave her to fall apart all over again. She spent the better part of the day avoiding all of his normal hang outs around school and prayed that he would have the decency to do the same. But as she was leaving school that afternoon she saw him. He was across the quad talking to some of his friends, but turned around just in time to see her eyes glued to him. His entire face fell as he stared back at her. Shay felt paralyzed once again, but knew she couldn’t stand there like an idiot staring at him. She regained her movement, turning sharply away from him.

She cried the entire walk home from school. She couldn’t stop. It was so much easier to pretend like they weren’t together when they were, than having to pretend like nothing happened between them when it did – when the only thing she could feel in her heart was him.

Every morning Shay asked her mother if she could stay home from school, to no avail. She was not compromising in the least and it made Shay wonder if she’d ever felt the crippling pain of a broken heart. And it made her resent her just a little bit.

By Friday, Jay was entirely fed up with Shay and her attitude.

“You need to get out of this house, Shaylynn. I am sick of you moping around here,” Jay shot at her after Shay grumbled about having to help make dinner when she wasn’t planning on eating it anyway.

“What do you want me to do? How about I call up my boyfriend… oh, wait. Louis took that away from me,” Shay said sarcastically.

“Knock it off,” Jay snapped, pointing at her with her finger, her tone serious. Shay shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Call Rachel. I say this lovingly, but you need to get out of my face. You’re driving me nuts,” Jay said.

“Thanks, Mom,” Shay grumbled.

“It’s the truth. Call Rachel and get out of here,” she said with a light chuckle.

“What if I don’t want to?” Shay countered.

“Do it,” she said firmly. Shay rolled her eyes again and abandoned helping in the kitchen, figuring that’s what she meant when she told her to get out of her face.

Shay went straight up to her room and crumpled up on the bed. She didn’t want to call Rachel and for about a half an hour she avoided it altogether. But then she realized she was sick of the four walls in her bedroom – the four walls that held so many memories of Harry. Her bed and the sheets that he laid in as she kissed him and loved him, the painting hanging on her wall that Harry made her for Christmas. She really needed to get out of there.

“Rach,” Shay whined over the phone.

“Shayyy…” She whined back playfully.

“Hang out with me, please. I’m dying,” Shay whined.

Rachel heard all about the Louis/Harry situation over the past week, so she was entirely clued in on all of Shay’s woes.

“Well, I’m going to this party with Ryan…” Rachel told her. Ryan was her newest crush.

“Like on a date?” Shay asked, feeling almost grief-stricken that she was going to be forced to stay in this god-forsaken room because the only friend she wanted to hang out with had plans already.

“No, nothing like that. He’s just going to be there. We’re meeting there,” Rachel told her.

“Oh,” Shay said quietly.

“Come with,” Rachel offered.

“Nah, you’re going to be with Ryan,” Shay sighed, even though she really wanted to come.

“No, Shay. Come. I want you to come with. You can get drunk and forget about all of your problems,” Rachel laughed.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” Shay scoffed playfully.

“Well, just get drunk and make out with a lot of hot random dudes,” Rachel laughed, causing Shay to roll her eyes.

“Maybe,” she joked, knowing full-well she never would.

“Sweet! I’ll pick you up in like a half hour,” Rachel told her.

Shay didn’t even tell her mother she was leaving until she was halfway out the door. Jay looked relieved, which kind of annoyed Shay a little bit. Rachel was as bubbly as ever, trying to keep Shay’s mind on anything but her situation.

“Okay, the rule of tonight is…” Rachel started to explain.

“Wait. There’s rules?” Shay said, cutting her off.

“Yes. The rule of tonight is that we don’t talk about Louis or Harry…” She said as she drove down the highway.

“Starting now?” Shay asked.

“Starting now. And… you have to at least act like you’re having fun even if you’re not. I want you to have fun though. It’s a party. I want you to have fun,” Rachel told her.

“These rules are too hard,” Shay frowned.

“Those are the rules, Shay. You must abide!” Rachel laughed.

“But can’t you just like… can’t you just have sex with Louis so that Harry and I could be together?” Shay joked, surprised at herself that a part of her actually wanted her to. Rachel let out a loud boisterous laugh.

“Yes. Yes, that is the plan,” Rachel said firmly, but Shay knew she was joking.

“If you were any kind of best friend, you would,” Shay told her.

“I’ll take one for the team,” Rachel laughed, but again, Shay knew she was only joking. Still she smiled, trying to abide by rule number two.

“Alright. No, Louis or Harry. Got it,” Shay said with a nod, reminding herself of rule number one.

“And have fun,” Rachel reminded.

“I’m having fun already,” Shay smiled at her, even though she only half meant it.

“GOOD! I’m glad!” Rachel laughed.

When the two of them arrived at the party, Rachel managed to get them drinks right away. She had that allure about her. She could get any guy to get her anything at any time.

“Drink it. It will make you feel better,” Rachel told her.

“Why? Does it have roofies in it?” Shay asked, smirking devilishly at her.

“Oh, you’re funny,” Rachel said sarcastically. Shay smiled, fulfilling rule number two for the moment.

“Come on, let’s mingle,” Rachel giggled, grabbing onto her hand, leading her out of the kitchen.

As Shay continued to drink and the alcohol worked through her system, it began relaxing her and she actually started opening up. She was playing an intense game of beer pong with some guys in Louis’ grade. They were pretty cool and one of the dudes, Zayn, kept flirting with Shay the whole time. With her luck though, he was friends with Louis and shit would hit the fan again if she set her sights on him.

“Hey,” a girl said to Shay as she walked up to observe the game of beer pong.

“Hey,” Shay said back, wondering why the senior girl was even acknowledging her.

The girl said hi to the guys Shay was hanging out with, but she kept noticing her watching her throughout the game. It made her uncomfortable. When the game ended and the two losing guys were congratulating Shay and her teammate, the girl decided to talk to her.

“Is it true you dated Harry Styles?” She asked. Shay’s entire body clenched with her words. How did she know?

“Uh…” Shay stammered.

“I mean, that’s what I heard anyway – that your brother freaked out cause you were sleeping with him,” she said.

Shay’s entire face was beet red and she felt like she was going to puke. By now, with the mention of sex, all three senior boys were practically salivating as they listened to see if it were true.

“Harry and I were friends,” Shay managed to say.

“Like friends with benefits?” She asked. Shay felt cornered, like she couldn’t get out of the conversation even if she tried.

“I mean, you don’t have to tell me. I was just curious. Your brother is like telling everyone that he and Harry aren’t friends anymore because Harry was sleeping with you,” the girl told her.

Of course there would be rumors, but Shay never thought they would be spread by her own brother. And unfortunately for her, the rumors were entirely true from a reliable source. Shay could feel her reputation changing almost immediately.

“I’m not nearly drunk enough to have this conversation,” Shay said, shaking her empty cup in her hand. They all laughed at her remark and Shay let out an awkward laugh too.

“Need another?” Zayn asked.

“Yes, please,” Shay said and followed him to the kitchen.

She was already feeling the buzz throughout her system as Zayn filled her another cup of beer from the keg. As she was taking a sip from it, following Zayn out of the kitchen, Shay looked up to see Harry walking into the party with his friend Liam. _Fuck her fucking life_.

Shay stopped dead in her tracks, not caring that Zayn was lost in the crowd already. Harry’s eyes met with hers and his smile faded almost immediately. Shay ripped her eyes away from his and pushed her way through the people, needing to find Rachel immediately.

“Harry’s here,” Shay heard the senior girl from before say to her as she passed.

“Yeah, I see that,” Shay grumbled and kept on going.

Rachel was in the dining room of the house watching a bunch of guys, including Ryan, playing Texas Hold ‘Em. Rachel perked up when she saw Shay.

“Are you having fun?” Rachel asked, smiling widely.

“Rule number two has been successful,” Shay told her.

“What about rule number one?” She asked.

“He’s here,” Shay said, swallowing hard.

“What? Who?” Rachel asked, looking around the room.

“What do you mean ‘who’? Harry! Harry is here,” Shay said impatiently.

“Oh, shit,” she gasped, widening her eyes.

“Yeah!” Shay said, feeling a slight panic attack working its way through her system.

Rachel stood on her feet and told Ryan she’d be back in a while and he gave her a nod and a smile. She took Shay by the hand and led her to the kitchen.

“What are we doing?” Shay asked, furrowing her brow at her friend.

“A situation like this calls for lots and lots of alcohol,” Rachel informed her, grabbing a bottle of tequila from the counter, along with two shot glasses.

“Doesn’t that stuff make girls clothes come off?” Shay joked, causing Rachel to laugh out loud.

“This is not a country song, Shay. Drink the happy, happy liquid and go make out with like fifteen guys, okay,” she giggled, drunkly.

“Yeah, just what my reputation needs,” Shay grumbled as she watched Rachel pour the shots.

Rachel made her take three shots consecutively, which she was kind of iffy about. But Rachel had her fair share of coping with heartbreak over the years, so Shay didn’t argue.

“I don’t even feel drunk,” Shay told her.

“Just wait. In about ten minutes you’ll be too shitfaced to care about anything,” she laughed.

And she was right. Shay started hanging out with Zayn and his friends Niall and Josh again – the same three she played beer pong with earlier. She was drunk and loving it. And Harry was on the other side of the house, so she really didn’t care. When Shay ventured off to get another beer for Zayn, she ran smack dab into Harry in the kitchen, quite literally.

“Holy shit!” Shay shouted as their bodies collided.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked, grabbing her wrists to steady her.

“I’m fine,” she said, ripping them out of his grasp.

“Hi, Shay,” he said in his unbelievably deep voice, giving her a small smile.

“Hi, Harry,” she said through clenched teeth.

“H-how have you been?” He asked.

“I don’t want to have this conversation,” Shay said, scooting passed him toward the keg.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

Shay tried her best to ignore his presence as she filled up a cup and silently prayed that he would just leave her alone, but when she turned around he was still standing there staring at her.

“How am I supposed to follow rule number one with you staring at me like that?” Shay snapped at him.

“Rule number one?” He asked, looking confused.

“Never mind,” Shay grumbled.

“Listen, Shay. I just want to say that I’m sorry,” he told her.

“Oh my god,” Shay scoffed dramatically, being too drunk to let his words affect her.

“You’re drunk,” he pointed out.

“Obviously. Because I couldn’t sit in my bedroom anymore and cry over you, okay. I needed something else to pass the time,” she shot at him.

His face scrunched up as if he heard something that hurt him. But Shay was convinced he was doing just fine without her. There weren’t bags under his eyes from crying himself to sleep over her, not like hers. In fact, he didn’t look sad at all. Here he was at a god damn party.

“So, here we are. Me with a broken heart and you having fun at a party,” Shay scoffed.

“You’re here too, Shay,” he pointed out.

“My mother kicked me out of the house. She can’t stand mopey fucked-up Shay anymore, okay. Nobody wants me around, so here I am,” Shay snapped.

“Shay…” He said softly.

“You don’t want me, that’s cool. I’m going to go find someone that does,” Shay said, making her way toward the kitchen doorway.

“Shay – God. That’s not it,” he said, grabbing onto her arm.

“I don’t care what it is anymore. You’re not with me anymore and that was the only thing that mattered to me, Harry,” she told him sadly.

“Don’t… don’t go and do something just to get back at me. I don’t want this, Shay. Just don’t do something stupid,” he told her.

“You don’t get to make those decisions for me,” she shot at him.

“So you’re just going to let the alcohol make your decisions for you? Because I know you, Shay. You’re not like this,” he said firmly.

“You don’t really know me, Harry,” she said, shaking her head.

“I’ve known you for ten years,” he retorted.

“Too bad my friendship with you doesn’t mean shit compared to my brother’s,” Shay scoffed and made her way out of the kitchen.

Shay found Rachel moments later and didn’t even bother to tell her about her run-in with Harry. She just told her she needed more tequila. And Rachel obliged like any good friend would. When Rachel pulled her back in the kitchen, Harry already vacated it, for which Shay was grateful. They only did two more shots, but it was enough to push Shay completely over the edge. She was out of her mind, really. She was dancing with Rachel and a bunch of other girls, then Zayn, Josh, and Niall all started dancing with them. Zayn put his hands on Shay’s waist and she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck as they danced to the rhythm of the music. When he kissed her, she kissed back, but only for a moment before she casually broke the kiss. Even in her inebriated state, she knew she didn’t want to kiss anyone but Harry. Zayn’s lips trailed down her neck as they danced and she let it happen, but not for long. Shay grabbed Rachel’s arm and told her she needed more to drink.

“Already!?” She laughed.

“Yes,” Shay said and pulled her away.

“Lush!” She laughed.

“Okay, I don’t really need more, but that dude is like, trying to make out with me,” Shay told her once they were back in the kitchen.

“THEN MAKE OUT WITH HIM! He’s super hot!” Rachel laughed.

“He’s not Harry,” Shay said sadly.

“RULE NUMBER ONE!” Rachel laughed, holding up her index finger.

“I don’t give a shit about rule fucking number one!” Shay spat drunkly, swatting at her hand, stumbling forward when she found she was standing further away than she aimed.

“You’re drunk,” Rachel laughed out loud.

“You’re stupid,” Shay laughed.

“Make out with Zayn. Go fuck him. Get Harry out of your system,” Rachel said, giving her exceptionally horrid advice.

“Not in a million… not in a million fucking years,” Shay slurred.

“Fine! Where’s Louis? I need to fuck Louis Tomlinson so my best friend can have her boyfriend back!” Rachel screamed, startling the few people that were in their vicinity.

“Shhhhh! Jesus!” Shay giggled, slapping her hand to Rachel’s mouth, looking around embarrassed.

“What!?” Rachel laughed, prying Shay’s hand away.

“People are going to hear you!” Shay told her.

“Pretty much everyone in the senior class knows that Harry Styles put his penis in you, okay. It’s not a big deal,” Rachel stated matter-of-factly.

“Because of Louis!” Shay growled.

“So, why don’t you go find Harry and fuck him then?” Rachel asked.

“Fuck Harry?” Shay asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, Louis’ not here. You’re drunk, Harry’s drunk. Just bring him into one of the rooms and sleep with him,” Rachel shrugged.

And that got every gear in Shay’s brain to start turning. Sleep with Harry, huh? Shay bit at her lip, contemplating it.

“Go find him,” Rachel told her.

Shay hesitated for a moment, but found herself standing in the kitchen doorway searching the crowd for Harry’s face. When she spotted it, she made her way over, determined to not let her mind think the plan over because she knew deep down she would talk herself out of it. Harry and Liam were talking to some other friends when Shay walked up. Harry’s eyes locked on hers and without a word she grabbed his hand and pulled him with her. He let himself be guided through the crowd without saying a word and Shay was thinking to herself how perfect her plan was.

When they headed down the deserted hallway toward the bedrooms, Shay felt him tug his arm back. She stopped and turned toward him.

“Shay, what are you doing?” He asked.

“Going for what I want,” Shay said, pressing her body against his.

“Shay, we can’t,” he said, grabbing onto her arms, pulling back a little, which only brought his back up against the wall.

“Nobody has to know, Harry,” Shay said, breathing against his lips.

“Shay, you’re drunk,” he pointed out again, as if she wasn’t aware of her intoxication level.

“And I love you,” she said before she kissed him.

He let himself kiss her back for a moment before he pushed her away.

“Shay, I can’t,” Harry said quietly.

“I hate you and I hate Louis!” Shay erupted immediately, feeling his rejection like a knife to the heart.

“Shay, don’t,” he said sadly.

“Why can’t you just be with me like we both want and need? Why does Louis matter so much?” Shay snapped as her tears began to fall.

“He’s my best friend,” Harry said, sounding like a broken record.

“Well, fuck you and fuck him!” Shay yelled angrily.

“Stop, Shay. Just…” He said, grabbing her wrist.

“Don’t touch me!” She snapped, ripping it out of his grasp.

“Please, Shay,” he pleaded as his brow knit together, looking pained.

“Why are you doing this to me? I can’t… I can’t even breathe without you. I-I feel like I’m drowning. Why are you doing this?” Shay sobbed.

“I’m sorry, Shay. I’m sorry,” he said and she could hear the emotion in his voice as she pressed the heels of her palms firmly into her eye sockets to try and stop the heavy flow of tears.

“Please, Shay,” he said, grabbing onto her wrists again.

“Just don’t do this to me,” she cried, falling into his arms. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, holding her against his chest. He let her cry in his arms until she calmed down.

“Let me take you home,” he told her. Shay nodded and let him lead her out of the party, not caring who saw them together.

“Aren’t you drunk?” She asked once she was sitting in his passenger seat.

“I had two beers as opposed to your eight shots of tequila,” he told her. Shay’s head shot to look over at him.

“You were watching me?” She asked.

“Somebody’s got to look out for you,” he told her as he took off down the road. She didn’t know whether to been happy or angry.

Shay pulled down the visor to look at herself in the lit up mirror, fixing her makeup, which wasn’t quite running down her face, but was not flattering in the least. Harry looked over at her giving her a small smile.

“What?” She asked, turning to look at him.

“Nothing,” he smirked as he focused back on the road. Shay rolled her eyes and slapped the visor shut, leaning back in the seat.

By the time Harry was pulling up in her driveway, Shay was feeling drunker than ever. She didn’t know if it was because of the motion of the car or the movement of the scenery passing by, but she was not doing so well. Harry helped her out of the car and she stumbled against him, trying to find her footing as her head spun.

“Shay, you shouldn’t drink so much. You’re tiny,” he told her.

“You shouldn’t care so much,” she shot back at him.

“I’ll always care,” he said quietly.

“New rule! Rule number three. You do not get to say stuff like that to me, okay,” Shay said, tacking it onto hers and Rachel’s first two rules.

“What’s rules one and two?” He asked curiously.

“ _Psssssh_. Wouldn’t you like to know?” Shay scoffed as he maneuvered her toward the front door.

“Do you have your key?” He asked.

“No,” she said snottily, even though it was in her pocket. She watched as Harry put the code into the key box by the front door, retrieving the key out of it.

“I’m making mom change that code,” Shay stated and he shook his head at her.

Harry unlocked the door and got Shay inside, but she stumbled over all the shoes in the entryway and she was laughing as Harry helped her up the stairs.

“Shay, you’ve got to be quiet. You’re going to wake up your parents,” Harry whispered, trying to shush her.

“This is what mom wanted,” Shay giggled.

“I highly doubt that,” he said under his breath as he got her into her room and flipped on the light.

“Look where we are,” Shay giggled.

“Your room,” Harry stated plainly, his eyes focusing on the painting hanging above her bed that he made for her.

“My room where you used to kiss me and turn me on so much,” Shay said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Shay…” He said softly.

“Don’t you miss it?” She asked.

“I do,” he said, nodding lightly, avoiding her eyes.

“Don’t miss it anymore. I’m right here,” Shay said and pressed her lips to his. And again he let himself kiss her back.

“What the fuck?” They heard Louis grumble and they immediately pulled apart from each other.

Shay stumbled back into the wall and giggled loudly while Harry stood staring at Louis, wide-eyed and shocked.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Louis shot at Harry.

“Shut the hell up, Louis,” Shay snapped, peeling herself away from the wall.

“I… uh… I brought her home from a party,” Harry stammered.

“Screw you, Louis. Stop ruining my life!” Shay said, poking him repeatedly in the chest.

“Are you drunk? You got her drunk? She’s sixteen!” Louis yelled at Harry.

“Shut up,” Shay scoffed at her brother.

“I did not get her drunk. She was already drunk when I got to the party,” Harry said.

“But that didn’t stop you from bringing her back here to take advantage of her,” Louis scoffed, rolling his eyes at his ex-best friend.

“I hate you, Louis! You’re going to scare him away! I hate you! Why can’t you just leave us alone!?” Shay yelled loudly, forgetting that their parents were just down the hall.

“SHAY!” Jay’s voice rang out from down the hallway.

Shay stopped to stare at her in her bathrobe, standing behind Louis, having just come out of her bedroom, where she was obviously sleeping.

“Oh, God,” Shay grumbled under her breath.

“What is going on?” Jay asked as her eyes worked over the three of them standing in the doorway of Shay’s room.

“Nothing,” Louis grumbled.

“Obviously that’s why I am being woken up at 1:30 in the morning to loud shouting,” she said sarcastically. None of them said anything as they stared in her direction.

“Harry, what are you doing here?” Jay asked, knowing she wouldn’t get a straight answer out of her own children.

“Uh… I just… I brought Shay home from… from a party,” he stammered.

“Oh,” she said with a nod.

None of them were willingly volunteering her any information as they stood there silently.

“Tell me why you were shouting,” Jay asked, looking straight at Shay.

“I hate Louis,” Shay said with as much attitude as she could muster.

“Are you drunk?” She asked confused.

“She’s wasted, Mom,” Louis told her.

“Screw you!” Shay said, punching him as hard as she could in the arm.

“Ow!” He yelled, holding his arm.

“Shaylynn! Knock it off!” Jay growled at her. Shay stopped and glared at Louis instead.

“How much have you had to drink?” Jay asked her. Shay crossed her arms and refused to tell her.

“Harry, how much has she had?” Jay asked, going to the only other source that would know.

“A lot,” Harry told her.

“Screw… you…” Shay breathed under my breath at Harry. He gave her a look of sympathy.

“Louis, go back to bed. Harry, go home. And Shay, you’re grounded,” Jay told them all.

“YOU TOLD ME TO GO OUT! YOU TOLD ME! AND NOW YOU WANT TO PUNISH ME!?” Shay screamed at her.

“You better watch it, young lady,” Jay growled at her.

“This is bullshit!” Shay said, throwing her hands up in defeat.

“Shay…” Harry warned.

“Shaylynn Johannah Tomlinson, you better calm yourself down right now,” Jay warned her. Shay crossed her arms over her chest and pursed her lips together like a child.

Harry took the opportunity to move passed Shay out of the doorway of her room.

“Harry, don’t go,” Shay whimpered, grabbing onto his arm.

“He’s leaving, Shay,” Jay said sternly.

“He’s been drinking. He can’t,” Shay spat out, knowing her mother wouldn’t let him leave.

“Shay, I’m not…” Harry said as his eyes awkwardly fell to Jay.

“Harry, have you been drinking?” She asked.

“I-I had two beers… but that was hours ago…” he stammered.

“You can sleep on the couch,” Jay said finally.

“What?” Louis shouted.

“I’m fine. I can drive,” Harry told her.

“It’s 1:30 in the morning. You’re not driving whether you’ve had two beers or twenty beers. Frankly, the fact that you drove the two of you here does not sit well with me,” Jay lectured him.

“But I’m fine,” he argued.

“Louis, get your friend a pillow and blanket,” Jay told her son firmly.

Harry sent Shay an unhappy glare, but she was ecstatic. Harry would be sleeping under the same roof again.

“Shaylynn, get in your room,” Jay growled.

“You can’t be serious about this, Mom. They’re just going sneak to see each other in the middle of the night,” Louis protest.

“Believe me, it’s not going to happen,” Harry said angrily, glaring at Shay, but she shrugged it off.

“I’m sleeping out there too then,” Louis said finally, causing Shay to scoff.

“Shaylynn, get in your room and don’t you dare come out until morning,” Jay snapped, shaking her finger at her.

Shay gave Harry one last look before she stomped into her room and slammed the door. Harry was sleeping at her house again and she was so happy.

Shay waited as long as she could before she swiftly snuck out of bed and opened her bedroom door. The entire house was silent and she was sure everyone was asleep, but she needed to see Harry. She needed to sneak passed Louis, who was passed out on the recliner and get to Harry who was sleeping on the couch.

Harry was as hard as ever to wake up and Shay had to do it as quietly as possible as to not wake Louis.

“Shay, go back to your room,” Harry whispered.

“Only if you’re coming with me,” she told him.

“No. Absolutely not,” he said stubbornly.

“Why not?” She whined.

“I’m sorry, Shay. It’s… it’s not happening… not anymore,” he said as he shook his head.

Shay immediately felt a wave of tears hit her. Rejection was the worst possible feeling and Harry just slapped her with a big old heaping shitbag full of it.

“Go back to bed, Shay,” Harry told her.

“I… I…” Shay stammered, but couldn’t find the words to say.

“Please,” Harry added.

With that Shay stumbled to her feet and didn’t look back as she found her way back to her room as the tears fell. Harry was gone in the morning when she woke up and her world was entirely empty because she knew she messed up almost everything in her life in one night.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

In the weeks that followed Shay’s irresponsible drunken night, a lot of things changed in her life. Her mother, for one, was a lot less lenient when letting her venture out of the house in fear that she might make another terrible life decision that would get her into more trouble, or worse. She also kept a tight eye on the time Shay spent with Rachel after the bad decisions they made together.

So no boyfriend _and_ no best friend. _Check_.

Louis and Harry finally started seeing eye-to-eye again and were slowly working to get their friendship back. Everyone knew it would never be put back exactly the way it was before – that Louis would always carry a bit of resentment – but it meant something to Shay that Louis was willing to forgive. Too bad he was only looking to forgive Harry. Shay and Louis’ relationship on the other hand was still broken. Even after she found out that Louis only informed his closest friends about Shay and Harry and wasn’t the one to spread the rumors, Shay still couldn’t see passed the fact that she and Harry were still apart at Louis’ doing.

And as for Shay and Harry – they hadn’t spoken since the night of the party. Since she forced him to spend the night, since he told her they couldn’t be together anymore and she saw in his eyes that he meant it. His words were so final and the look he gave her was so pitying, it made her sick to her stomach.

It took Shay weeks to be able to fall asleep without crying, without that ache in her chest for her first love.

Louis never brought Harry over to their house anymore and everyone knew why and agreed it would be best if it kept on that way. Mark, missing the company of both his _sons,_ would take them out to sporting events or to play paintball, which didn’t sit right with Shay. But she couldn’t blame them for wanting to get together. Harry was such a large part of their family before everything happened, and now he was just absent.

At school Shay mainly kept to herself, carving out a new existence for herself under the watchful stares of everyone around her. She had friends and she kept up with them, but she didn’t get involved like before. She didn’t feel that particular flutter for companionship she used to get. So she just focused on her studies instead of bothering herself with social situations.

Zayn, Shay’s new friend from the party, tried his best to flirt with her, practically throw himself at her, but she ignored his advances. The old Shay would have jumped at the chance to be with such a beautiful creature, but she changed. She wasn’t the same person and she was content with being alone.

School – that’s how Shay passed the time. _Homework. Reading. Writing_. Just school. She’d never been much for excelling in her studies, but Louis was right about one thing – it was never too early to start preparing for college. And though she didn’t know if _Penn State_ – the school Louis and Harry were both patiently waiting on acceptance letters from – would be where she went, she knew she wanted to be able to get into a good school at least. And for that she needed the grades to back up her up.

 ...

“This presentation will be thirty percent of your grade thus far in the class,” Shay heard her government teacher announce.

Her head snapped up from her words. Was she zoning out as she started class? What was going on? _Presentation… thirty percent…_

Shay swallowed hard, realizing she’d never been much of a public speaker. She waited on more instructions as Mrs. Klein gathered up the papers from her desk, instructing them further about said presentation.

“You and your partner will have four weeks to come up with something significant,” her teacher said as she counted out enough papers for each row of desks and plopped them down on the head desks to be passed back.

_Partner?_ The sound of that made Shay calm down enough to look around the room to see who she’d want as her partner.

“I’ve already randomly assigned your partners…” Mrs. Klein announced. _Well, fuck_.

“Once I finish calling your pairings, you can gather your belongings and get together with your partner to do some initial brain storming,” she announced.

Pulling out a piece of paper, she began reading off names of partners. Shay waited impatiently for her name to be called.

“Shay Tomlinson, you partner will be… let’s see. Damien Styles,” she called out.

She continued to announce names, but Shay couldn’t hear her. She sat frozen in her desk hearing the name over and over in her head.

_Damien Styles. Damien Styles. Damien Styles._

She knew Harry’s little brother was in her class. Everyone knew he was in their class. A freshman in a sophomore level class didn’t go unnoticed. But he kept so quiet, sitting in the back of the room that in the past few weeks Shay just pretended like he wasn’t there. She pretended that someone of Harry’s blood line was not in such close proximity to her. She pretended that anything and everyone relating to the Styles family didn’t exist. And now she would be _forced_ to acknowledge his existence.

After their teacher finished calling out the names of the pairings, the entire class shifted to be seated with their assigned partners. Shay was just about to ask Mrs. Klein for a different partner when Damien plopped down in the desk next to her.

“Hi,” he said, sounding rather friendly. Shay just stared at him, unable to speak.

“Okay, then,” he said awkwardly, cracking open his book.

Shay figured she should probably do the same. So she pulled open the book, realizing she had no idea what page to turn to. She tried to eye his book, but he was just flipping pages, just as clueless as she was.

“So… uh… have any ideas on what you’d like our presentation to be about?” Damien asked.

“Uh…” Shay stammered.

He stared at her like she was the biggest idiot on the planet. And maybe she was.

“I know you have a voice. I’ve heard it around my house,” he said, eyeing her.

“Uh, what?” Shay choked out. Every time she was there with Harry she was well hidden in his room or his family was gone. How could he have possibly heard her?

“You… you babysat my sister Jackie. Remember?” He asked, looking incredibly weirded out by her. It was a long time ago, but she did in fact, babysit their younger sister Jackie once upon a time.

“Oh, yeah!” Shay said, feeling relief flood her mind.

“Yeah,” he said, looking at her oddly.

“Sorry,” she said quietly, letting her vision fall back onto her book.

“No. This isn’t weird at all,” he said rhetorically under his breath.

“I’m sorry. I just… I feel weird today. I just… just never mind me, okay. I’m fine,” Shay said, waving off her craziness.

“Are you sure?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow and gave her a smirk that reminded her so much of Harry, it made her insides hurt.

“No,” she breathed lowly. His brow knit together looking at her like she was crazy.

“Sorry,” she said, shaking her head.

“Yeah. You said that,” he mumbled.

_Jesus_. She looked and sounded like she was bat-shit crazy. She needed to snap the hell out of it.

“So, yeah. Our presentation…” Shay said, changing the subject.

“Yeah. Do you have something in mind?” He asked.

“No. You?” She asked.

“Nah. Why don’t we look through the text and maybe get ideas?” He offered.

By the end of class they decided on doing their presentation on how Immigrants earns citizenship in the United States.

“Make sure to exchange phone numbers and plan out a schedule to work on your presentations outside of class!” Mrs. Klein told the class as the bell rang.

There was a collective groan throughout the room and Shay too wanted to join, but she didn’t want to make Damien feel bad. If there wasn’t anything between her and Harry, she would have actually found their partnership ideal because Damien was so smart. But right now there was nothing ideal about it.

“We should get together this weekend to work on it,” Shay offered.

“I’m busy Sunday. Is Saturday good for you?” Damien asked.

“Saturday works. But can we do it at my house?” She asked, not wanting to step foot in the Styles’ house. There were too many memories and there was always the possibility of running into Harry.

“Uh… I’ve got to watch Jackie on Saturday,” he told her.

“I thought you said you were free,” she pointed out.

“I-I am. I’ve just got to watch Jackie. We’d have to get together at my house,” he told her.

_Shit._ Shay hesitated and he noticed.

“It’s not like you haven’t ever been over to my house before,” he stated obviously. It was the house in which she lost her virginity with his brother. She was well aware she’d been there before.

“We’re not contagious,” he said, giving her a smirk that reminded her of Harry again.

“I know,” she said as she packed her book in her bag.

“Well, I’ll see you there Saturday then. One o’clock,” he said, grabbing his stuff up before heading for the door.

 ...

All morning on Saturday Shay felt sick to her stomach. In just a few short hours she was due at the Styles residence to help Damien start their presentation for their US Government class and she was not looking forward to it at all. Which made her feel bad, because Damien wasn’t a bad kid. He was actually pretty cool. But she couldn’t be bothered with feeling anything but dread about stepping into that house once again. She hadn’t been there since Harry and she knew it was going to be hard.

She decided to walk over there, rather than get a ride from her mom. She didn’t want to hear her questions about why she was going over to Harry’s house. Shay didn’t tell her or anyone else that she was partnered with Damien for their presentation. Shay was pretty vague about it when telling Jay and for some reason, she took it all at face value.

Shay walked slowly, trudging through the snow that was slowly building up on the road. She actually liked when it snowed. Snowflakes were one of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. She tipped her head back and let a few fall onto her tongue as they fell from the sky. She giggled to herself as she wiped away the snowflakes that fell onto her eyelashes. But her happy moment was halted when she looked ahead and saw the house. How was she so close already? Wasn’t she walking slowly to enjoy her last few moments of peace?

Shay let her expression even out as she got closer and closer, her stomach tying into knots. There was one good thing – Harry’s Jeep was not in the driveway. Shay breathed a sigh of relief as she made her way to the door and rang the doorbell.

“Hey,” Shay said as she smiled awkwardly when Damien pulled open the door.

“Hey,” he said, looking just as awkward.

“WHO IS IT!?” Shay heard Jackie yell as she ran toward the door.

“It’s Shay,” Damien said to his younger sister.

“SHAY!” Jackie yelled, wrapping her arms around Shay’s leg.

“Hi, baby girl!” Shay said, ruffling the six year old’s hair.

“Are you here to play?” She asked excitedly as she pulled away.

“No, honey. I’m here to do homework with your brother,” Shay said, smiling at her.

“Harry’s not here,” she said, cocking her head to the side.

Shay froze at the mention of Harry. Why… why would Jackie automatically assume she was there for Harry?

“Oh. Uh, no, Jacks. She’s here to do homework with me,” Damien chucked uncomfortable.

“Oh. Okay. Can I help?” She asked excitedly.

“Nah, not today. Why don’t you go play with your toys or watch TV or something,” Damien said with a laugh.

“Okay,” Jackie smiled widely and ran to the TV room.

“Come in,” Damien said and Shay realized she was still standing in the doorway, letting all the heat escape into the winter air.

“Oh, yeah. _Shit_ ,” she said under her breath and stepped inside.

Damien closed the door behind her, and Shay waited for him to lead the way. She followed him into the dining room, taking extra care not to let her gaze linger on the staircase for too long. Harry’s bedroom was up there. That room held so much of her, it was depressing. She shook her head lightly as she set her bag onto the table.

“I figure we can work in here where I can still keep an eye on Jackie,” Damien told her, eyeing his little sister who was seated in front of the TV watching _Dora the Explorer_.

“Yeah. Yeah, this is good,” Shay said, giving him a small smile.

“Are you okay?” He asked her.

“What? Yeah,” Shay said, furrowing her brow.

“I just… you seem distracted. Is it me? Like, did I do something to you that I don’t know about? Because ever since my name was called to be your partner…” Damien started.

“No, no. No, Damien. It’s not you. I’m just… there’s been a lot of things going on with me lately. It has _nothing_ to do with you, I promise,” she told him sincerely.

Shay was absolutely positive at that point that Harry’s family never knew anything about their relationship. And that fact sent a bitter wave through her. All she could think was how he got what he wanted from her and conveniently gave up when things got tough. Did he really love her or was he just looking for sex? All the talk about how he was never going to hurt her and his whole protest when she gave him the condom for Christmas just seemed like all a big show now. Shay knew she was the main pusher in keeping their relationship secret, but _Jesus_ , she was sitting there with one of the closest people to him and he was absolutely clueless about it.

“Are you really okay?” Damien asked, breaking Shay out of her thoughts and she realized she was glaring at the wall.

“Yeah. _God_. You probably think I’m the most unstable girl on the planet. I’m sorry. I am perfectly sane, I swear. Just… just ignore me,” she said, waving her hand through the air.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Damien chuckled awkwardly, looking at her oddly.

Shay tried her hardest to not let her mind wander as she and Damien started researching their presentation. They ended up getting a lot accomplished. They made a good team.

“We should… we should look up some statistics… like the statistics of how many people come from other countries each year to get citizenship and what countries have the most immigrants,” Shay told him.

“Are they still called immigrants, or is there another term for it? That just seems like we’re talking about, you know, _Ellis Island_ when you say ‘immigrants’,” Damien pointed out.

“I mean, well… they are immigrating. Shouldn’t they be called immigrants? I mean, it’s not a derogatory term. It sounds better than foreigners,” Shay said with a shrug.

“Illegal alien! That’s what I was thinking,” he said as his eyes brightened and a smile erupted on his face.

“Like ‘illegal alien’ sounds better than ‘immigrant’, or ‘foreigner’ for that matter,” Shay laughed. Damien was almost rolling with laughter and it made Shay laugh even harder.

“I like aliens,” he laughed and it only made Shay laugh harder. She almost couldn’t breathe.

“Seriously, I want to meet an alien,” Damien said as his laughter died down. But every word he said made Shay laugh more.

“It’s not _that_ funny,” Damien said, shoving her arm, chuckling lightly.

“You… have… to… stop… talking. I… can’t… breathe…” Shay choked out through her laughter.

“Shut up,” Damien laughed.

As Shay’s laughter finally started dying down, Gemma walked into the dining room, eyeing the two of them together.

“What is going on in here?” She asked, smiling mischievously.

“We’re working on homework,” Damien said as Shay choked back her last few laughs. Once Harry stepped into view, her laughter cut off completely.

“Shay—” Harry choked out, looking at her wide-eyed.

“Hi,” she forced out, wanting to make sure it didn’t get weird for Damien and Gemma’s sake.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Harry asked, looking surprised to see her sitting at his kitchen table… with his little brother.

“They’re working on _homework_ ,” Gemma said, bobbing her eyebrows suggestively.

Out of her peripherals, Shay saw Damien shake his head, annoyed with his older sister. But Shay was busy studying Harry’s features – the way his eyes widened for a split second and the way his jaw clenched at Gemma’s insinuation.

“What kind of homework?” Harry asked, trying to save face.

“US Government. We’re doing a presentation on how people gain citizenship into the United States,” Damien informed him.

Gemma walked out of the dining room a moment later when she realized they were _just_ doing homework. Harry lingered for a few more moments, watching Shay. But then he pursed his lips, giving her a look of sympathy or sadness or something before he walked out too.

Having Harry in the house made it almost impossible for Shay to focus on the homework.

“Can we… can we get together sometime this week again? I really should be getting home,” Shay told him.

“Yeah. I mean, yeah. We can. Are you sure you have to go? We’re on a roll,” he said, looking over at her.

“I really should,” Shay said, closing her text book.

“O-okay. We can talk about it in class then,” he offered.

“Okay,” Shay said, standing up to gather her belongings.

Once she had it all packed away in her bag, she gave Damien a wave and told him she’d see him in class on Monday. He smiled and waved before she walked out of the dining room. Shay wanted to say goodbye to Jackie, but she didn’t want to run the risk of having to see Harry again, so she put her winter wear on and exited the house quietly. But apparently she was not stealth enough, because as she was walking down the sidewalk the front door opened and closed quickly.

“Shay!” She heard Harry’s voice. She froze in her footsteps, but she couldn’t turn around.

“Hey,” he said, reaching her.

“Hey,” she repeated, only because her brain wouldn’t let her come up with anything original to say.

“H-how’ve you been?” He asked. Shay closed her eyes tightly, annoyed with the conversation already.

“I feel like I am having déjà vu somehow,” Shay said, opening her eyes to meet his again.

“What do you mean?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Do you take some sort of sick pleasure in knowing I’m not doing well?” Shay asked bluntly.

“Shay, no,” he said, shaking his head.

“Then why do you ask? Because pretty much, Harry, I’ve been doing shitty, okay. I don’t have a best friend, I don’t have a brother, and I sure as hell don’t have a boyfriend,” she said as the anger bubbled up inside of her. Harry sighed deeply and looked out into the distance.

“Does that feel good? Taking in your cleansing breath after hearing my heartache…” Shay taunted him. His eyes snapped to hers immediately.

“Shay, I’m just as heartbroken,” he snapped at her.

“Yeah, I must have missed that between all the fun shit you’re doing with my dad and Louis,” she scoffed.

“Shay…” He breathed.

“What do you want, Harry?” She asked, rolling her eyes at him.

“If things could be different, they would be,” he told her.

“And why couldn’t they be different, huh? Why the hell does Louis matter over someone you supposedly loved?” She yelled at him.

“Shay…” He said, bowing his head, looking defeated.

“I hope it was good,” she shot at him.

“What?” He asked, looking back into her eyes.

“When you slept with me. I hope it was good. Because that’s all you were after, right?” She said viciously.

“Shay, no! That’s… _God_. That’s an awful thing to say,” he scoffed.

“Well, it’s an awful feeling to feel,” she retorted.

“It wasn’t like that, okay. It wasn’t like that at all. I-I… _God_ , it’s not like that,” he said, shaking his head.

“I hope Louis can give you what I used to,” she scoffed and started walking off.

“Shay! Please, Shay,” Harry called after her.

“No, Harry. I’m not going to give you a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Because you know what? You promised me! You promised me over and over that you weren’t going to hurt me! And look at me! LOOK AT ME, HARRY! That’s all I feel,” she said honestly as she began crying, even after she told herself she wasn’t going to cry in front of him.

“I never meant to hurt you,” he said as he hung his head again, unable to look her in the eye anymore.

“Your plan failed,” she said finally, turning on her heels again.

He didn’t say another word. He let her leave. And Shay cried the entire walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **FYI: In my mind, Damien is played by Colin Ford.**


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Shay found herself walking home from school with Damien on Wednesday. They decided to get more work done on their presentation. She convinced herself that it would be best to go to his house again. She didn’t really want to bring Damien Styles to her house in front of her parents or Louis. She didn’t want to have to explain anything.

Just as they were getting settled around the table, the front door opened.

“Damien!” She heard Harry’s voice echo through the house and her entire body froze.

“In here!” Damien called out and Shay cringed. _No, don’t call him in here_. _Please_.

“Hey—” Harry said, coming into the dining room. His words, his whole thought process cut off when he saw her.

“Shay. Hey,” he choked out, staring her down.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked, looking between her and his brother.

“Homework,” she stated plainly.

She could see the slight hint of jealousy in his eyes as he contemplated her words and looked at their books that were sprawled across the table.

“Cool,” he said, nodding his head.

Shay’s eyes stared into his as a wave of anger hit her. She did not care if he thought it was cool or not that she was there with Damien. Actually, she’d rather him _not_ think it was cool. She hoped he was out of his mind   with jealousy. She hoped it tore him apart and he lost sleep over it. Then just maybe he’d feel a slight bit of what she’d been going through since he broke up with her.

“What did you want?” Damien asked Harry.

“Oh. Uh… nothing,” Harry said, waving it off, still looking at Shay.

She had to look away because it hurt too much to look into his eyes. Her textbook was the perfect distraction.

“Alright then,” Damien said, sounding impatient, probably wondering why Harry was lingering.

“Yeah,” Harry said, but didn’t move.

He stood there for a few more moments before he turned and left. And when his presence wasn’t suffocating her, Shay finally felt like she could breathe.

“That was weird,” Damien mumbled to himself as he started flipping through his text.

“Yeah,” Shay agreed quietly.

“So, alright. Where were we?” Damien asked, looking up at her.

“Uh… I think we were going over _Visa’s_ and _green cards_ last time,” she said, opening her own textbook.

“Oh, yeah. Okay,” Damien nodded, flipping the pages to find the right chapter in the text.

They were just getting back into things when Damien’s Mother, Anne, got home.

“Damien! Are you ready?” She called out.

“What?” Damien asked, sounding confused.

“Damien, where are you?” She called out again.

“In here, Mom!” Damien call back to her.

“Come on, let’s go!” She said as she rounded the corner into the dining room.

“What…?” Damien asked.

“Oh! Hi, Shaylynn,” Anne smiled brightly at her.

“Hi, Anne,” Shay greeted her with a smile.

“It’s so lovely to see you around here. You’ll have to come by for dinner soon,” she smiled brightly.

“Where are we going?” Damien asked his Mom.

“Your doctor’s appointment,” she said, clapping her hands together in a hurried motion.

“No. That’s tomorrow,” he sighed.

“No. It’s today. And if we don’t get going now, we’re going to be late. Let’s go,” she told him.

“It’s not until tomorrow,” he argued.

“Do you want to make a bet? I made the appointment myself, Damien. I wrote it on the calendar,” she told him.

“I swear, it’s not until tomorrow,” he said.

“It’s today. Let’s go. We don’t have time for this,” she said, pushing him along.

“Uh, I guess I have a doctor’s appointment. I thought it was tomorrow,” he told Shay as his cheeks turned ten shades of red.

“It’s okay, Damien. Maybe we can work on it tomorrow then,” she told him.

“Yeah. Good idea,” he smiled back at her.

“Come on, Damien,” they heard Anne call from the foyer.

“I’ve gotta go. I’m sorry,” he said, getting up from the chair.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” Shay said, closing her textbook to put it in her bag.

“Yeah, see you,” he said and disappeared out of the dining room.

Shay quickly packed up her things so she could leave. She felt weird being there without Damien.

“Shay,” she heard Harry’s voice and her head shot up to find him standing in the doorway.

“I’m leaving,” she told him.

“Can we… can we talk?” He asked. Shay sighed heavily as she continued to throw things in her bag.

“Please,” he said, walking toward the table.

“Harry, I just… what do you want me to say?” She asked, looking him in the eye finally.

“I just… I want you to let me explain… explain better than I did before,” he said sadly.

“What is there to explain? I mean, you ended our relationship for my brother. Like, it’s plain and simple. And I get it. Louis means more to you,” Shay told him.

“No. No, that’s not it,” he said, shaking his head.

“Then what is it?” She asked impatiently.

“I… I…” He stammered.

“Harry, you… _God_ … you made me love you, okay. You made me fall in love with you and then you ripped it all away just as fast. I am upset. And you constantly asking me how I feel and how I’m doing just adds to the pain. And I just really wish you would stop. Just stop,” she pleaded with him.

“Shay… I don’t want to add to it. I just want you to know why I did it,” he said, looking pained.

“Why you did it?” She scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“When I did it, I told you it wasn’t forever, Shay. It was just for now. That I wanted to give Louis time. But you’re… you’re hurting and I can see you’re slowly starting to resent me. And I… I… just… I don’t want to lose you,” he pleaded.

Her heart almost felt like it stopped beating with his words. He didn’t want to lose her? _He didn’t want to fucking lose her?_ How did he think it was going to go? That she would just faithfully sit at home and wait and wait and wait for the day that he just might come back? He was delusional.

Shay scoffed and shook her head.

“Shay, please. I don’t want it to be like this with you,” he sighed.

“I can’t believe the expectations you have,” she said, meeting his eye again.

“Expectations?” He asked, looking at her questioningly.

“Yeah, you expect me to just sit here waiting for you. You expect me not to be mad. You expect me to not be hurt. I _don’t_ have you, Harry! And as easy as you seem to think it is to just bypass feelings, I can’t. I feel everything. I feel love. I feel pain. I feel anger. I feel resentment. I can’t turn that off. I may only be sixteen, but I’m not naïve, Harry,” she told him. Her whole body was on fire.

“I know. I know, Shay. I’m sorry. I feel those things too. I’m not… I’m not just sitting here day after day forgetting about you. I remember everything, every detail about you to a sickening degree. I miss everything about you. I miss it all. And I just want… I just want you to know I’m not doing this to hurt you. I just… I love you, Shay. I… I don’t want to lose you,” he pleaded with her.

Shay bit her lip as his words tore through her entire body, hurting her in places she never thought it could. Every inch of her seemed to ache, whether physically or mentally. She felt tears trying to pry their way out of their ducts, but she held her breath and did everything she could to hold them back. She didn’t want to cry. It would only make the entire situation worse.

“Can’t we… can’t we be friends, Shay?” Harry asked.

Shay almost died with his words. If she was not so preoccupied with holding her breath, she probably would have cried out in some sort of pain from his words.

“Friends?” She choked out, hoping her tears would hold back on their own for the time being.

“Yeah. I just… I want you in my life. I really miss you, Shay,” he told her.

“Yeah, like ‘let’s-go-to-the-movies’ type friends?” She choked out her sarcasm.

“Shay…” He sighed.

“Harry, I don’t know what kind of delusion you’re living in, but you have to know that something like that just isn’t going to happen,” she told him truthfully.

“Why not, Shay? Can’t we go back?” He asked.

“No. We can’t. It is absolutely impossible to ‘go back’. I don’t even know what we would go back to. We… we never were really friends. You kissed me and then we were _us_. Before, you were just my brother’s best friend,” she told him.

“Then can we just… can we try to be in each other’s lives? I can’t stop…” He choked out.

“You have two choices, Harry,” she told him.

“Oh, here we go with the fucking choices again,” Harry scoffed and Shay couldn’t help but glare at him.

“Sorry. It’s just… that’s what your brother said to me,” he said, shaking his head. Shay took a deep breath because of the mentioning of her brother.

“And how is that going for you? Are you still backing your original choice?” She asked him bitterly.

“Shay…” He sighed.

“It’s because of you that I loathe my brother to the point that I wish I never had a brother. Because if Louis didn’t exist, then you wouldn’t be in my life. And if you weren’t in my life, then I wouldn’t feel like this,” she said, allowing her tears to make their appearance.

“We’d be in each other’s lives, Shay. Even if Louis didn’t exist, we’d be in each other’s lives,” he told her matter-of-factly.

“ _Jesus,_ ” Shay breathed as her tears hit her hard.

“Please, Shay… I hate seeing you cry,” he told her, swiping his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away the tears.

“And what happens if Louis never comes around? What happens then, if he can’t ever accept our feelings for each other? What happens then, Harry?” Shay asked through her tears.

“I don’t know,” he breathed.

“Will you… will you go against him? Will you be willing to fight for me like you didn’t before?” She asked him, feeling the anger inside her bubbling up.

“I will fight for you,” he stated plainly.

“Do you promise?” She asked as she wiped her tears.

“I promise, Shay,” he said, stepping closer to her.

“Because I can’t deal with this for much longer,” she choked out.

“You won’t have to,” he whispered, wrapping her in his arms, hugging her tightly.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Shay wasn’t exactly sure where she and Harry stood with each other after what was said. She just knew she could move on from feeling the pure and constant shit she’d been feeling for the better part of a month. Harry’s reassurance that he still loved her calmed her more than she would ever care to admit. Yet, she still went home feeling sad and confused that night.

He told her he was going to fight for her. But she was still unsure of when the supposed battle would take place. She hated not knowing. She just wanted to scream in her brother’s face that he was the biggest asshole on the planet and that she and Harry didn’t care what he thought – that they were going to be together. And if he didn’t like it, then he could fuck off. But Shay was afraid of Harry going with what Louis wanted once again, disregarding their relationship altogether. _Once bitten, twice shy_ – so they say.

…

Shay watched as Harry walked into school the next morning as she stood by her locker. She felt okay. It was a big contrast to what she felt before when she would see his face at school. His eyes caught hers and a smile turned up his lips. Shay couldn’t help but smile back at him as he walked toward his own locker.

“What was that?” Rachel asked, startling Shay out of her revelry.

“What was what?” Shay asked, looking over at her friend.

“You and Harry. What was that?” She asked again.

“I don’t know,” Shay said with a shrug.

“You were smiling at each other,” she pointed out.

“Yeah,” Shay said, opening up her locker.

“Oh my god,” Rachel said, dropping her jaw.

“What?” Shay asked, giving her an odd look.

“You two are seeing each other again, aren’t you? Behind Louis’ back?” She asked.

“No,” Shay said, shaking her head.

“Yeah, right. You can tell me,” Rachel assured her.

“We’re not,” Shay said evenly.

“Shay, do you really think I would tell anyone?” Rachel asked with her hands on her hips.

“Yes,” Shay said bluntly.

“You’re my best friend, Shay. I wouldn’t do that to you,” she said.

“I know,” Shay said, sending her a sneaky smile.

“So…” She said.

“So, nothing. We aren’t seeing each other,” Shay told her.

“So tell me what happened to make you smile at each other,” Rachel said, really demanding the details.

“I don’t know. We talked. He told me he still wants to give Louis a little bit of time and then he told me he would fight for me if Louis didn’t like it,” Shay explained, and she couldn’t help the smile tugging up her lips.

“You know what, Shay?” Rachel said.

“What?” Shay asked.

“He should have been fighting all along,” she pointed out.

“I know,” Shay said, letting her face fall.

She knew it, yet she didn’t have it in her to hold it against him anymore. All she wanted was to have him back. Everything she went through, she bottled up and now she was waiting it out. She was waiting to have him again. She just hoped she wasn’t waiting on something that would never come.

…

Damien and Shay worked so diligently on their presentation that they were almost done with half a week to spare. Shay was super excited about that fact. They both had their little role to play in the presentation – specific things to talk about, and they were pretty confident they were going to do pretty well. Shay still hated the whole concept of speaking in front of people, but Damien was a natural. A project like this never even phased him.

“Do you… do you want to like… hang out… with me?” Damien asked as they sat at his kitchen table after they just put the finishing touches on their presentation.

“We are… hanging out,” Shay said, looking at him oddly.

“Well, I mean… I’m mean, not working on our presentation,” he said with a shrug.

“Oh. _Ohhh._ Uh…” Shay stammered.

“Like… as friends,” he told her.

“Yeah. Uh, yeah. As friends,” she said with a nod.

Shay watched Damien out of the corner of her eye as his cheeks blushed rapidly and she realized he only said ‘as friends’ because of the way she reacted. He liked her. The disappointment on his face proved it.

“I-I don’t think I am looking for anything else though. Not that, you know… not that you… I don’t know… not that you wouldn’t be a candidate, I guess. You’re a good guy, Damien,” Shay said awkwardly and felt entirely stupid for even saying anything.

“Oh, no. Oh. Yeah, just… you know… friends,” he said again. But again, Shay could see the look of disappointment on his face.

She felt bad. But she just couldn’t. Not with Harry’s little brother. Not when she was still in love with Harry – when she was still waiting for him.

“I’d like to hang out though,” Shay told him.

“Okay,” he said, smiling over at her.

“Okay,” she agreed, smiling back.

…

By the weekend, Shay and Damien were bumming around the mall like two old friends. They shopped a little, talked a little, ate ridiculous amounts of food at the food court, and of course did what any amused person would do at a mall – people watched.

“Look at that guy’s shirt. _Oh my god._ That’s like, a naked lady on it,” Damien pointed out, laughing as they sat on a bench slurping on a couple of _Icee’s_.

“Oh my god, it is,” Shay giggled with her hand over her mouth.

“That’s crazy,” Damien chuckled.

“Stop staring at it, pervert,” Shay giggled, smacking his arm.

“I can’t help it,” he laughed.

“Stuff like that should be banned. I mean, come on. There are little kids here. What are you like, fourteen?” Shay joked, elbowing him lightly.

“Shut up. I’m almost fifteen,” he snapped, giving her a playful glare.

“You know I’m kidding,” she said, ruffling up the hair on his head.

“ _Mm-hmm_ ,” he hummed, looking out at the people once again.

They sat there silently for a little bit. Damien really seemed to have something on his mind. But then again, he always seemed like that. At fourteen, he was quite the introvert.

“Something is going on between you and Harry, isn’t there?” Damien asked her seriously. Shay sat frozen next to him. _How did he know?_

“Wh-what do you mean?” Shay choked out. Damien hesitated, but then looked over at her.

“I can tell,” he said quietly.

“Nothing is going on,” she told him. And it wasn’t a lie.

“But it did,” he pointed out.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” She asked, feeling a sense of fear and she didn’t know why.

“Just the way you act around each other. It’s… it’s too formal,” he told her.

_Well, shit_.

“No,” Shay said, shaking her head, a last ditch effort to convince him.

“I saw a picture of you in his room. In his nightstand,” Damien pointed out.

“What?” Shay asked wide-eyed.

“I thought it was really weird at first. I mean, right. That’s weird. But then I put two-and-two together,” Damien said.

“Uh…” Shay stammered. _Harry kept a picture of her in his nightstand?_

“You can tell me. I won’t tell,” he said, looking a little more ashen than normal.

“Uh…” Shay stammered again.

“Your denial seems to have ended. I think I have my answer,” Damien said, facing out toward the crowd again.

_Fight or flight._ Shay sat there for a long moment contemplating running straight out of there and never looking back. But Damien had become a good friend.

“We… we were seeing each other… from September through December,” Shay admitted. Damien looked up at her, his eyes a little wider than usual.

“What happened?” He asked.

“My brother didn’t like it when he found out,” Shay told him.

“What?” Damien asked, scrunching his face up in confusion.

“Louis. He didn’t like it and stopped being friends with Harry over it,” Shay explained.

“ _Stupid_. So, what? Harry broke it off because of that?” Damien asked, giving her a confused look.

“Yup,” she said awkwardly.

“ _Idiot_ ,” Damien said under his breath as he shook his head. Shay smiled to herself. Harry _was_ an idiot.

“I guess Louis was more important,” Shay said with a shrug.

“Louis would have gotten over it. Those two… those two are best friends. What an idiot,” Damien said, shaking his head again.

Shay didn’t know why, but just hearing those words out of Damien’s mouth made her so entirely happy or vindicated or something. She finally had someone on her side – an ally.

“Wow. That’s just… that’s just stupid,” Damien chuckled, continuing to shake his head.

“Thanks, Damien,” Shay said with a smile.

“For what?” He asked.

“For saying that,” she told him.

“Well, it’s the truth. I know if you were my girlfriend I wouldn’t be so easily manipulated. You’re… you’re a catch, Shay,” he said and Shay watched as his normal rosy cheeks grew even pinker.

“Thanks, Damien,” she said, smiling from ear-to-ear, feeling her own cheeks grow hot and knew they were just as pink as his.

“Yeah,” he said, trying to focus his attention away from her.

“I’m glad you’re my friend,” Shay told him honestly.

“I’m glad you’re my friend, too,” he said with a bashful smile.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Shay felt Harry’s eyes on her every time they were in the hallway together at school. No matter what, she could pick him out in the crowd and there he’d be, staring at her. It made her feel good, but it also made her a little angry. It had been a week since she and Harry talked, since he told her he was going to fight for her and there were still no signs of him telling Louis anything. She knew Harry said he wanted to wait, but hadn’t it already been almost two months since they stopped seeing each other? Wasn’t that adequate time for Harry to get his shit together and tell Louis that their feelings weren’t going away, that he’d just have to suck it up and deal with his best friend dating his sister? Apparently not.

After the last bell and after like the ninth time that day of Harry’s watchful gaze on her, Shay slammed her locker shut and got the hell out of there. It was a nice day. Spring had decided to come early, as early as she’d ever seen it anyway. It was the beginning of March and there were usually still blizzards and ice storms. Shay was grateful for the early thaw though, since she was still walking home from school. It was pretty damn cold on most days, but today, she didn’t even feel the need to zip up her jacket.

“Shay! Hey, Shay. Wait up!” She heard and immediately spun toward the person shouting at her. She sighed when she saw Harry jogging toward her.

“Hey,” he said as he caught up.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Can I… can I walk with you?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Can you?” She asked just to be purposely snide.

“You sound like a teacher,” he smirked, rolling his eyes.

Shay didn’t say anything as Harry fell into step next to her. She felt awkward to say the least. It was weird – with her not saying anything and him not saying anything. But she knew there were a million things he wanted to say to her. His long gazes through the hallway and his sudden need to walk with her home proved it. But she wasn’t going to make things any easier on him. Not a chance.

“So, you and Damien…” He started.

“Oh my god,” she said under her breath, rolling her eyes. She couldn’t believe that was what he chose to talk to her about.

“’Oh my god’, what?” He asked, looking over at her.

“Really, Harry? ‘You and Damien’?” She asked, giving him an annoyed look.

“What?” He asked, looking at her questioningly.

“Nothing. Me and Damien, what?” She asked, shaking her head.

“You’re friends?” He asked.

“I enjoy Damien’s company,” she said through gritted teeth.

There was a silent pause, when all that could be heard was their shoes hitting the pavement as they walked.

“I was jealous… at first,” Harry told her. Shay looked over at him to see if he was being genuine.

“What? You think I _like_ seeing you hanging out with other guys? Especially my little brother,” he smirked at her.

“You really don’t have a say in that,” she reminded him.

“I know. That’s why I never said anything, Shay. I know I didn’t deserve an opinion. Not after the way…” He said, letting his voice trail off as he looked down at the ground.

Shay took a deep breath, realizing it was still an open wound to her heart – Harry and everything connected to him.

“But what was even worse than my brother was that Zayn guy,” Harry smirked, looking back up at her.

“Harry, stop,” Shay said, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“This… Harry. This is just too hard. I can’t sit here and talk about this stuff with you,” she told him truthfully as she stopped in her tracks. Harry stopped too, turning to look at her.

“I’m sorry, Shay,” he said again.

“Yeah. You said that,” she grumbled as she started walking again, a little faster this time.

“Damien… he’s really upset,” Harry said.

“What? Why?” Shay asked, stopping again. This time it was her turning to face him. What did she do to upset Damien?

“He was yelling at me. He _keeps_ yelling at me,” Harry told her.

“Why?” She asked, furrowing her brow.

“He’s telling me I am the biggest idiot in the world for letting you go. As if I didn’t already know that,” Harry explained.

“Oh,” Shay said, dropping her gaze from his.

“Shay…” Harry said quietly.

“Hmm,” she said, still looking down at the ground.

“Shay…” He said again more loudly, curling his fingers underneath her chin to meet their eyes.

“I’m gonna tell Louis,” he told her. Shay took in a sudden intake of breath that almost made her dizzy.

“I’m going to tell him that I love you and that I don’t want to live without you anymore – that I _can’t_ live without you. And if he doesn’t like it, well then that’s just too damn bad,” Harry told her.

Shay could feel the tears building up in their ducts. She was going to cry and she knew it. She was going to cry because she didn’t know if she truly trusted his words. It was an _‘I’ll believe it when I see it’_ sort of feeling that plagued her. Two months of wishing for this day to come and she couldn’t even believe his words.

“Shay, I love you so much,” he said, grasping onto the sides of her face with his hands. Her hands came up to rest atop his.

“And you want to do it now? Now, because your little brother badgered you into it? Now, after two months?” Shay asked as her tears spilled over and her voice cracked with emotion.

“No, no. Shay…” He said, shaking his head. She pulled his hands from her face and took a step back from him.

“Please don’t pull away from me,” he pleaded, taking a step forward.

Shay let out a choked laugh. Those words – those _exact_ words that she could have screamed in his face thousands of times in the last two months. ‘ _Please don’t pull away from me_.’ But that’s all he did. He pulled away and left her to fend for herself.

“Shaylynn…” He breathed.

“Harry, I don’t…” Shay choked out.

“Please, I know it’s been a long time. I know, okay. And I know things are probably going to get bad with Louis again. But I want you to know… I _need_ you to know I’m not going to run away this time. I promise. I’ll promise on anything – the bible, my own life. Shay, please. Please don’t let my stupidity ruin everything. I love you and I know you love me too,” he said, grabbing her hands in his.

Her tears were coming out in sobs. They were standing in the middle of the street in their neighborhood and she couldn’t control her emotions.

“Shay, please tell me you love me. _Please_ ,” Harry begged as he pulled her body to his, wrapping his arms around her.

She couldn’t get any words out even if she wanted to, not with the relentless way her tears were pouring out.

“Please, Shay. I love you,” he cooed in her ear as he smoothed out her hair with his hand.

And that was when she realized that just because Harry pulled away before, didn’t mean she needed to pull away now. She knew his promises were broken before, but there was something so sincere in his voice that made her believe his words were genuine – that at least for now, he never had any intentions of breaking them. And Shay knew in her heart that he was genuinely sorry for everything he did that hurt her in the past. And she was finally ready to forgive.

“I-I… I love you,” Shay choked out through her tears.

“Oh, baby. Good, good. Oh, Shay,” Harry said, kissing her cheek. Shay’s arms tightened around Harry and she knew she never wanted to let him go.

“I love you so much. And I’ll tell Louis right now if you want me to,” he said, pulling back to grab her face again, looking her straight in the eye.

She shook her head ‘no’. It needed to be dealt with delicately. The best decision would be to come up with a plan on how they were going to approach him with this. He didn’t deserve their discretion, but she didn’t want him to kick Harry’s ass or anything.

“We can… we can talk about it,” Shay told him.

“Okay. Whatever you want,” he said, wiping her tears with his thumbs. Shay nodded as she tried to hold back the fresh tears that threatened to fall.

“I don’t deserve you,” he told her, kissing the tip of her nose. She nodded her head again, agreeing with his words.

“God, I missed you,” he smiled, leaning in to give her their first kiss in two months. It was just as great as Shay remembered it to be. And like an addict, she only wanted more.

Harry’s lips never left hers once they got in the house. They practically ran there, still too afraid to go to Shay’s in case Louis would be there. It was a long time since she’d been in his bedroom and she was glad to be back.

“Oh, God,” Shay moaned as she fell onto Harry’s bed, him on top of her.

“Please, just never stop kissing me,” Shay groaned as she worked his t-shirt over his head.

“I don’t plan to,” he breathed against the skin of her neck as he rocked his hips into hers.

“Oh, God,” Shay groaned again.

She wanted him so bad. She couldn’t even control herself. She would never recover from Harry, she was sure of that now. And she had never felt passion so strong in her whole entire life.

“Condom. _Now,_ ” Shay panted.

Harry quickly pushed up on his forearms and stumbled off the bed to his closet. Shay quickly slipped off her pants and shirt as she watched as Harry fumbled in the back of his closet, grabbing a condom. As he headed back to the bed, he undid his jeans and pushed them to the floor, ripping open the condom wrapper and rolling it down onto himself. Shay watched on, fascinated the entire time.

“Shay, I love you. And this isn’t just about sex to me, okay,” Harry said, looking her straight in the eye.

“No. I know, Harry. I just said that to make you mad,” she said quietly, shaking her head.

“We’re in this together, okay. Nothing is going to tear us apart this time,” he assured her.

“Nothing,” she agreed.

With that, he got back on top of her, kissing her hard on the lips. His eyes focused on hers as he slowly pushed himself inside. Shay let out a ragged breath as he filled her up. She had never felt closer to Harry. She’d never felt a deeper connection. Because now, for the first time in months, they were finally on the same page again. They were finally ready to make their relationship _real_ and this sort of sealed it all.

The first time was good, but the second time was _exceptionally_ better. Their bodies moved more fluidly. They weren’t afraid. They didn’t hold back and they let themselves feel each other, rather than fearing that they were going to do something wrong or hurt the other person. They were free. And really, that just seemed to symbolize where they were with each other on every level.


End file.
